I’ve always believed that subtle signals in the workplace can tell us a lot about someone’s intentions—sometimes more than outright aggression does.
Today, I want to walk you through seven signs that a coworker might be quietly undermining you, and what you can do about it.
Let’s dive right in.
01 They play the interruption game
Have you noticed how some people always seem to cut you off during meetings or talk over you in brainstorming sessions?
It might feel minor at first—everyone interrupts sometimes—but if it’s happening repeatedly and only directed at you, there’s a chance they’re trying to weaken your credibility in front of others.
This is well backed up by experts like author and life coach Sherri Gordon who noted in a pretty recent Very Well Mind post that the effects of interrupting include undermining respect and asserting power.
What to do: Make a calm but firm statement in the moment, such as, “I’d like to finish my thought.” It sets a boundary without creating unnecessary drama.
If it continues you might want to consider, as recommended by Gordon, addressing the the interrupting before you start talking.
02 They give backhanded compliments
This is one I know all too well.
I once had a coworker who would say things like, “Wow, I didn’t expect that level of detail from you,” or, “Good job on the presentation—did someone help you put it together?”
Comments like these can seem flattering on the surface but carry an undercurrent of doubt or disrespect. It’s a classic undermining tactic that chips away at your confidence.
What to do: Respond politely but directly. You might say, “Actually, I’m really comfortable with detailed work,” making it clear that you see through the subtle dig.
03 They ‘accidentally’ leave you out
Another telltale sign is when your coworker forgets—over and over—to invite you to important meetings or conveniently omits crucial details in shared projects.
That kind of exclusion can result in missed opportunities or an embarrassing lack of preparedness on your part.
What to do: Address it as soon as you notice a pattern. Ask for a quick chat and clarify that you want to stay in the loop. It sends the message that you’re paying attention and won’t be sidelined.
04 They take credit for your work
I’ve mentioned this in previous posts here on Small Business Bonfire but protecting your contributions at work is essential.
If you find someone presenting your ideas as their own or subtly implying they did the heavy lifting, that’s a major sign of undermining. It’s one of the most blatant (yet surprisingly common) ways people sabotage coworkers.
What to do: Document your work. In team meetings, calmly speak up when referencing your ideas, so it’s clear where the credit belongs.
05 They spread or hint at rumors
This is the kind of coworker who might say, “I heard something about you, but it’s probably nothing,” then refuse to elaborate.
It’s a sneaky move that plants doubt in people’s minds without ever making a firm accusation.
What to do: As Robert Greene, author of The 48 Laws Of Power points out, “Reputation is the cornerstone of power.” Protect yours by not engaging in gossip and addressing rumors directly with those involved, ensuring you clear the air with facts.
06 They criticize you more than necessary
Some coworkers offer so-called “constructive feedback” that feels more like relentless fault-finding.
It might be about every tiny detail in your work or repeated comments on your personality. When the criticism lacks balance and sensitivity, they might be trying to chip away at your confidence.
What to do: Consider the source and look for any validity in the feedback—there might be a nugget of truth. However, if the criticism is consistently harsh and unhelpful, politely push back or seek a neutral third party (like HR or a mentor) to help navigate the situation.
07 They act friendly in public, frosty in private
Last but not least, watch out for the coworker who’s all smiles in team settings but cold or dismissive when nobody’s watching.
This two-faced behavior can be a strategic move to undermine you, especially if they’re trying to win favor with the higher-ups while quietly keeping you down.
What to do: Keep detailed notes of any questionable interactions. If you decide to bring it to management or HR, having a clear record helps. Also, maintain a respectful demeanor, even if they’re making it difficult. Emotional self-control is key in handling these situations.
To sum up
Subtle undermining can be just as harmful as open conflict, especially if it goes unchecked.
By recognizing these signs and responding calmly and assertively, you protect both your peace of mind and your professional reputation.
Being mindful of who’s really in your corner—and who might not be—is a big part of that process.
Keep on the up and up.
