Understanding the underlying traits of a deeply selfish person can be quite revealing.
Psychology has its ways of decoding the characteristics that make one selfish. However, it’s not about blaming or shaming, but recognizing the patterns that can often go unnoticed.
In this article, we’re going to delve into the telltale habits of someone who is deeply rooted in self-centeredness.
We’ll sift through what psychology has to say about these ten tendencies, which might just give us a fresh perspective on how to understand and deal with such individuals in our lives.
Let’s get started.
1) Me first, always
Selfishness often manifests in a “me first” attitude.
Psychologists point out that a deeply selfish person consistently puts their own needs and wants above those of others. This isn’t just about taking the bigger slice of cake, but extends to significant decisions where they prioritize their interests over everything else.
It’s not just about getting what they want, but ensuring they get it first and foremost, even at the expense of others.
That’s not to say that prioritizing one’s own needs is inherently bad. It becomes problematic when this attitude is persistent and disregards the needs and feelings of others, a hallmark trait of deep-seated selfishness.
When you notice someone always ensuring they’re ahead in the queue or grabbing the best for themselves without considering others, remember, it might be more than just a bad habit. It could be a sign of deeper selfish tendencies.
2) Lack of empathy
Another common trait among the deeply selfish is a lack of empathy towards others.
I remember a friend of mine, let’s call her Jane. Jane always had a knack for telling fascinating stories, but it didn’t take long to realize that she never really asked about others. Conversations always circled back to her experiences, her life, her challenges.
Psychologists explain this as a lack of empathy. Selfish individuals often struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes. They are so focused on their own world that they fail to acknowledge or understand the feelings and perspectives of others.
If you find yourself in a one-sided conversation like I did with Jane, where the focus constantly shifts back to them, it could be more than just poor conversational skills – it might be an indication of deep-rooted selfishness.
3) Difficulty in sharing
Sharing is a fundamental aspect of human interaction, but for deeply selfish individuals, it can be a daunting task.
In an intriguing study by the University of Michigan, children as young as three showed signs of selfishness when asked to share their stickers with their peers. Interestingly, the ones who found it difficult to share were also more likely to exhibit selfish behavior as adults.
This reluctance to share isn’t limited to physical possessions. It extends to sharing time, emotions, and experiences. A deeply selfish person will often want to hoard resources and experiences for themselves, at the expense of others.
4) Neglecting others’ needs
Neglecting the needs of others is another terrain where the footprint of deep selfishness is clearly visible.
Selfish individuals tend to be so engrossed in their own world that they overlook or intentionally ignore the needs and feelings of those around them. They often lack the consideration to accommodate others, especially if it inconveniences them in any way.
Whether it’s skipping out on a friend’s event because they’d rather stay in or not lending a helping hand when someone else is in need, these actions point towards a deep-seated selfishness.
If there’s someone in your life who consistently neglects the needs of others for their own convenience, it might just be a reflection of their deeply selfish nature.
5) Inability to apologize
An inability to apologize can often be a sign of deep-rooted selfishness.
Selfish individuals struggle with saying sorry. They’re likely to place blame elsewhere and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. This is often because admitting wrongdoing would mean acknowledging they’re not perfect, which can be a hard pill to swallow for someone who’s deeply selfish.
It’s not just about uttering the words ‘I’m sorry,’ but genuinely understanding and expressing remorse for the impact of their actions on others.
6) Disregard for boundaries
Having a disregard for others’ personal boundaries is another sign of a deeply selfish individual.
Not respecting someone’s space, time, or emotions is a clear indication of a lack of consideration for others. It’s like they’re saying, “my needs matter more than your comfort.”
I’ve seen relationships strained and friendships tested over this disregard for personal boundaries. It’s heartbreaking to see someone repeatedly overstep their bounds without any remorse or understanding of the emotional turmoil they’re causing.
When you notice someone in your life consistently crossing lines without any consideration for others’ comfort or wishes, it could very well be a sign of their deep-seated selfishness.
7) Unwillingness to listen
In my experience, an unwillingness to listen is a characteristic often found in deeply selfish individuals.
I once had a colleague who would dominate every team meeting. He’d talk at length about his ideas but never took the time to listen to anyone else’s thoughts or suggestions. It was as if his voice was the only one that mattered.
Psychologists explain this behavior as an extension of a selfish individual’s self-centered worldview. They’re so consumed with their own thoughts, ideas, and feelings that they don’t take the time or make the effort to truly listen and understand others.
If you know someone who seems more interested in being heard than hearing others, it might be more than just an annoying habit. It could be a sign of deeper selfish tendencies.
8) Excessive generosity
Surprisingly, excessive generosity can sometimes be a sign of deep-seated selfishness.
While generosity is typically seen as a virtue, psychologists note that some selfish individuals use excessive generosity as a manipulation tool. They give with the expectation of receiving something in return or use their generosity to gain control, influence, or create a sense of obligation.
It’s not genuine giving, but a calculated move to serve their own ends.
If you notice someone being overly generous, especially when it feels out of character or comes with strings attached, it could be an indication of underlying selfishness.
9) Always playing the victim
Playing the victim is another common trait of deeply selfish individuals.
Selfish people often portray themselves as victims in any situation, shunning responsibility and blaming others for their problems. It’s a tactic to gain sympathy and attention, making others responsible for their feelings and circumstances.
Rather than owning up to their mistakes or acknowledging their role in a situation, they’d prefer to paint themselves as the victim.
10) Lack of genuine interest in others
The most telling sign of deep-seated selfishness is a lack of genuine interest in others.
Selfish individuals often show little to no interest in other people’s lives, feelings, or experiences unless it directly benefits them. Their conversations, questions, and actions primarily revolve around themselves and their interests.
They rarely go out of their way to understand or get to know others on a deeper level, unless there’s something in it for them. This can make interactions with them feel one-sided and lacking in genuine connection.
Ultimately, it’s about understanding
Digging deep into the realm of human behavior, psychology shines a spotlight on the habits that hint at deep-seated selfishness.
But it’s important to remember that understanding these habits isn’t about labeling or judging others. It’s about fostering empathy and improving interactions.
Psychologists assert that often, deeply selfish individuals might be acting from a place of insecurity or unmet needs. Their behavior is less about lack of care for others, and more about an excessive need for self-preservation or validation.
As we navigate through life, encountering a myriad of personalities, let’s use this understanding to foster healthier interactions and relationships. Let’s remember to extend compassion, even to those whose actions might seem steeped in selfishness.
Because at the end of the day, everyone is fighting their own battles – some just have different ways of coping. And understanding that is the first step towards fostering empathy and kindness in our world.
