Communication is a tricky business. Without even realizing it, you might be pushing people away with your words.
You see, there are certain phrases that, when used, can unintentionally make people lose respect for you.
In this article, I’m going to share 10 of these phrases. My aim? To help you avoid the pitfalls and maintain the respect you deserve.
Let’s dive in.
1) Whatever
Communication is a two-way street, and respect is an essential part of that road.
Imagine you’re in the middle of a discussion or an argument, and instead of engaging or sharing your perspective, you respond with a dismissive “whatever”. This one word can be a conversation killer.
Why?
Well, “whatever” can come off as apathetic, disrespectful, and dismissive. It gives the impression that you don’t care about the other person’s opinion or feelings. And that’s not a great way to maintain respect.
Instead of using “whatever” as a knee-jerk response, try to engage in the conversation more thoughtfully. You might not agree with what’s being said, but it’s better to express that disagreement respectfully.
2) I’m too busy
Time is a precious commodity. We all get the same 24 hours in a day, but how we choose to spend it can greatly impact our relationships.
Let me share a personal story. A few years back, I was working on a project with a team and found myself saying “I’m too busy” way too often. It was my go-to response for declined invitations or missed deadlines.
One day, a colleague pulled me aside and told me how this phrase was impacting the team’s perception of me. They felt I wasn’t invested in the project or in building relationships with them.
That was a wake-up call.
“I’m too busy” can make you seem unapproachable or like you’re not willing to make time for others, which can cause people to lose respect for you.
It’s important to manage our time effectively, of course, but it’s equally crucial to communicate it respectfully. Try phrases like “I have a packed schedule, but let’s find a time that works”, which shows your willingness and effort to make time for others.
3) I know, right?
There’s a phrase that’s become quite common in our everyday conversations – “I know, right?”
On the surface, it might seem like a harmless way to express agreement. But delve deeper and you’ll find that this phrase can sometimes come across as condescending or smug, making others feel like their thoughts or opinions are being dismissed.
In fact, in a 2019 study published in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology, researchers found that individuals who regularly use phrases like “I know, right?” are often perceived as less likable and trustworthy than those who don’t.
When engaging in conversation, it’s important to remember that every opinion counts. Instead of dismissing someone else’s thoughts with an “I know, right?”, try acknowledging their point of view with phrases like “That’s a good point” or “I hadn’t thought about it that way”. This way, you’re showing respect for their ideas and maintaining a positive image.
4) It’s not my fault
Taking responsibility for our actions is a measure of maturity and integrity.
However, when things go wrong, our first instinct can often be to deflect blame with phrases like “It’s not my fault”. While this might seem like a good strategy to protect ourselves, it can actually lead to a loss of respect from others.
Blaming others or external circumstances instead of accepting responsibility can portray you as someone who lacks accountability. This can affect how others perceive your character and reliability.
Instead, aim to cultivate a mindset of ownership. If you’ve made a mistake, admit it, learn from it and move forward. You’ll earn more respect by showing that you’re willing to own up to your actions and work on improving yourself.
5) You’re wrong
Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and someone bluntly states, “You’re wrong”? How did it make you feel? Disrespected, perhaps?
Here’s the thing, nobody likes to be told they’re wrong outright. It can come off as condescending and dismissive.
While it’s important to express your viewpoint, it’s equally crucial to do so in a respectful manner. Instead of saying “You’re wrong,” try using phrases like “I see where you’re coming from, but have you considered this…” or “I understand your point, but I have a different perspective.”
This way, you’re not only expressing your opinion but also showing respect for theirs. It not only keeps the conversation productive but also helps maintain the respect others have for you.
6) I don’t care
Empathy is a cornerstone of human connection and respect. When we say, “I don’t care,” it can come across as cold and dismissive, causing people to question our empathy, and in turn, lose respect for us.
This phrase can be particularly hurtful when the other person is opening up about their feelings or sharing something personal. It gives the impression that their thoughts or feelings are not valued.
We all have moments when we’re overwhelmed or uninterested. However, it’s important to communicate this in a way that doesn’t belittle the other person’s feelings. Instead of “I don’t care,” try saying “I’m finding it hard to engage with this right now” or “I think I need some time to process this.”
7) I’m always right
This phrase was a personal favorite of mine in my younger years. Believing that I was always right, I often found myself saying it out loud. I thought it would make me come off as confident and knowledgeable.
Over time, I realized that it was doing the opposite. Saying “I’m always right” not only blocks any chance of learning and growth but also portrays a sense of arrogance. It can make people feel like their opinions or perspectives don’t matter, which can easily lead to a loss of respect.
No one is infallible. We all have room to learn and grow. Embracing differing perspectives can lead to more enriching conversations and relationships. Instead of clinging to being ‘right’, try saying, “This is what I believe, what are your thoughts?” It opens up dialogue and shows respect for other’s opinions.
8) I’m just being honest
Honesty is a virtue, right? Well, yes. But there’s a fine line between being honest and being hurtful.
The phrase “I’m just being honest” is often used as a shield to say something harsh or critical. It’s like putting a small band-aid on a large wound – it doesn’t really help.
While honesty is important, so is tact. It’s not just about what we say, but how we say it. Instead of using honesty as an excuse to be blunt, try framing your thoughts in a more constructive, empathetic manner.
9) That’s just how I am
This phrase can be a real respect killer. While it might seem like a simple statement of fact, “That’s just how I am” can come across as an excuse for not trying to improve or change negative behaviors.
It suggests a certain rigidity and unwillingness to grow or adapt, traits that aren’t usually respected. After all, we all have areas where we could stand to improve, and acknowledging this is often seen as a sign of humility and self-awareness.
Instead of resorting to “That’s just how I am,” try acknowledging the issue and showing a willingness to work on it. Phrases like “I’ll work on that,” or “I’m trying to do better,” show that you’re open to growth and improvement, traits that are sure to earn you respect.
10) It doesn’t matter
This might seem like an innocuous phrase, but “It doesn’t matter” can have a big impact on how others perceive and respect you.
When you say “It doesn’t matter”, it can be interpreted as you not caring about the outcome of a situation or the feelings of the people involved. It can make others feel dismissed or unimportant.
Instead, express your indifference in a way that still shows consideration for others’ feelings. “Let’s find a solution that works for everyone” or “I’m open to suggestions” are ways to show that while you may not have a strong preference, you still value the input and feelings of others around you.
