There’s a marked contrast between being a decent human being and, well, not being one.
This difference boils down to behavior. A not-so-great person often exhibits certain tendencies that go against the grain of what we perceive as ‘good’.
As a psychologist, I’ve observed these patterns and I’m here to share them with you.
Not to manipulate or scare you, but to enlighten and inform you.
So let’s dive in and look at some tell-tale signs that someone isn’t exactly the best specimen of humanity.
1) Lack of empathy
One of the foremost signs of a not-so-great human being is a lack of empathy.
To me, as a psychologist, empathy stands out as a significant factor in human interactions.
It’s our ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
But when someone lacks empathy, they often struggle to connect with people on an emotional level.
They may come across as cold, detached, or even outright dismissive of others’ feelings.
2) Frequent dishonesty
Another telltale sign, from my perspective as a psychologist, is frequent dishonesty.
Let me share a personal example.
I once knew someone who seemed to have a chronic problem with telling the truth.
Even with trivial matters, they would resort to dishonesty.
It was as if lying had become second nature to them.
This person would make up stories about their past, exaggerate their accomplishments and even lie about things that were easily verifiable.
Over time, it became clear that their dishonesty was not just an occasional slip but rather a pattern of deception.
Dishonesty, especially when it’s a habit, damages trust and credibility.
It’s a clear red flag and often indicates that someone might not be the best influence in your life.
3) Consistent disrespect
Disrespect towards others can be a glaring sign of a person’s character, or lack thereof.
This could manifest in various ways, from talking down to others, disregarding boundaries, or simply being rude.
Interestingly, a study found that people who frequently disrespect or belittle others tend to have lower self-esteem.
They often use such behavior as a defense mechanism to mask their own insecurities.
So if you encounter someone who consistently disrespects others, it’s not just unpleasant – it could be indicative of deeper issues they’re grappling with.
Regardless, it’s a clear sign that they may not be the best person to have in your circle.
4) Lack of accountability
As a psychologist, another behavior that raises red flags is a person’s inability to take responsibility for their actions.
This could be as simple as not apologizing when they’re wrong, or even going to the extent of blaming others for their own mistakes.
A lack of accountability can lead to toxic situations where the person never accepts their role in a problem.
Instead, they continuously play the victim and pass the buck. This not only hampers personal growth but also strains relationships.
A good human being understands their actions have consequences and is willing to take responsibility for them.
5) Self-centeredness
Self-centeredness is another defining trait of a not-so-great human being.
These individuals often focus solely on their own needs, desires, and perspectives, overlooking or disregarding the needs and feelings of others.
They tend to dominate conversations, turning every topic back to themselves, and often lack interest in others unless it serves their purposes.
This lack of consideration for others is not just off-putting but can also lead to strained relationships.
Remember, being confident or self-assured is different from being self-centered.
Confidence is about knowing your worth; self-centeredness is disregarding the worth of others.
6) Cruelty towards those who can’t fight back
One of the most heartbreaking signs I’ve seen as a psychologist is when someone displays cruelty towards those who can’t fight back.
This could be children, animals, or even vulnerable adults.
It’s deeply saddening and concerning when you see someone exploiting a position of power to harm or belittle those who are less fortunate or capable of defending themselves.
This behavior is not only a clear violation of basic human decency but also points to a severe lack of empathy and compassion.
If someone shows cruelty towards those who can’t fight back, it’s more than just a red flag.
It’s a distress signal that this person isn’t just not a good human being, but could be potentially dangerous.
7) Consistent negativity
Throughout my career as a psychologist, I’ve noticed that consistent negativity can be a sign of someone who might not be the best influence in your life.
This isn’t about people who are going through a tough time or battling depression – that’s different and deserves understanding and compassion.
I’m talking about individuals who are constantly negative about everything around them, regardless of the situation.
They always see the glass half empty, find faults in others relentlessly, and spread their pessimism like a contagious disease.
I’ve seen firsthand how this constant negativity can be draining.
It affected my mood, my outlook, and even my self-esteem.
Over time, I realized the impact it had on my mental health and made the difficult decision to distance myself from such negativity.
This isn’t about avoiding people with problems; it’s about recognizing when someone’s consistent negativity is more about their character than their circumstances.
8) Excessive charm
While being charming can often be seen as a positive trait, psychologists warn that excessive charm can sometimes be a red flag.
People who are overly charming may do so to manipulate others and get what they want.
Beneath the charm, there may be hidden agendas. They may use their charisma to draw people in, only to take advantage of them later.
So if someone’s charm feels too good to be true, it might be worth taking a step back to observe their behavior more closely.
Being charming isn’t inherently bad, but when it’s excessive, it could potentially mask more sinister intentions.
9) Frequent mood swings
Frequent and unpredictable mood swings can also be a sign of a problematic person, according to psychologists.
While everybody has ups and downs, someone with volatile emotional states can create a tense and unstable environment.
These individuals may be fine one moment, and then suddenly explode with anger the next.
This unpredictability can make it challenging to maintain a healthy relationship, whether it’s personal or professional.
It’s important to remember that everyone has bad days.
However, when someone’s mood swings become a regular pattern and start affecting those around them negatively, it might be an indication that they are not the best person to have in your life.
10) Lack of personal growth
The most critical sign that someone may not be a good human being is their lack of personal growth.
If someone shows no interest in improving themselves, learning from their mistakes, or making amends for past wrongs, it’s a major red flag.
Personal growth is not just about becoming a better person for ourselves, but also for those around us.
It’s about acknowledging our shortcomings and taking steps to improve.
A person who refuses to grow remains stagnant, affecting their relationships and their overall quality of life.
Final reflection
When we think about the traits of a not-so-good human being, it’s essential to remember that people can change.
Psychology supports the idea that personal growth is possible for everyone.
A person displaying these traits isn’t necessarily doomed to be a ‘bad’ person forever.
With self-awareness, effort, and often professional help, individuals can make significant strides towards betterment.
The philosopher Carl Jung once said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
This quote underscores the importance of personal choice in shaping our character.
So as you reflect on these signs and perhaps recognize them in people around you or even in yourself, remember that change is possible.
It might not be easy, and it might not be quick, but with determination and the right support, anyone can strive towards becoming a better human being.
