Low self-esteem can be a sneaky beast. It’s like an invisible puppet master, tugging at your strings and making you act in ways you may not even realize. And the worst part? You’re none the wiser, thinking it’s just ‘you’ being ‘you’.
But what if I told you it’s not really ‘you’? That it’s your low self-esteem subtly influencing your actions? You might be surprised to find out the ways it’s been affecting you.
In this article, I’ll uncover 10 things you’re unknowingly doing because of your low self-esteem.
Let’s get started.
1) Over-apologizing
Ever find yourself saying “sorry” for the smallest things? Or perhaps even for things that don’t require an apology at all?
This is a classic sign of low self-esteem. If you’re constantly apologizing, it suggests that you might consider yourself responsible for things that are not your fault, or that you feel like you’re always doing something wrong.
This constant need for approval, or fear of disapproval, is often rooted in low self-esteem. You might not even realize you’re doing it. But becoming aware is the first step towards breaking free from this habit.
Everyone makes mistakes. There’s no need to constantly apologize for simply being human.
2) Avoiding eye contact
I remember a time when I would always look down or away when talking to people. I thought it was just my shyness showing, but then I realized it was more than that.
Avoiding eye contact is a subtle sign of low self-esteem. It’s like you’re saying, “I’m not worthy of your attention” or “I don’t want to be seen”.
It took some work, but I had to consciously remind myself to maintain eye contact during conversations. It was uncomfortable at first, but with time, it became more natural.
Eye contact shows confidence and self-assuredness. So if you notice yourself constantly looking away, it might be time to check in on your self-esteem. Try making more eye contact – it’s a small change that can make a big difference.
3) Negative self-talk
We all have an internal dialogue running through our minds. But did you know that the tone and content of this dialogue can be a reflection of our self-esteem?
If your inner voice is always criticizing, belittling, or doubting you, it’s a sign of low self-esteem. This negative self-talk is like a bully in your head, constantly putting you down.
But here’s the thing: Our brains tend to believe what they hear most often. So if you’re constantly feeding it negative thoughts about yourself, it will start to accept them as truth.
It’s important to challenge these negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. It won’t happen overnight, but with patience and persistence, you can shift your inner dialogue to be more supportive and uplifting.
4) Always seeking validation
Do you find yourself constantly seeking approval from others? Or needing someone else to affirm your worth before you can believe it yourself?
This is a common behavior among individuals with low self-esteem. You might feel like you’re not good enough unless someone else tells you that you are.
The problem with this is that it makes your self-worth dependent on others. And guess what? That’s not a healthy or sustainable way to live.
Your worth is inherent, and it doesn’t change based on what others think of you. It’s time to start believing in yourself and validating your own accomplishments. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.
5) Struggling to say no
Ever find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Or taking on more than you can handle just to please others?
This struggle to assert yourself and set boundaries is a sign of low self-esteem. You might fear that saying no will lead to rejection or conflict.
But here’s the reality: You can’t please everyone all the time, and saying no is a necessary part of maintaining your mental health and personal boundaries. It’s okay to prioritize your needs and say no when something doesn’t align with them.
Saying no doesn’t make you selfish or rude – it makes you assertive and respectful of your own needs.
6) Feeling undeserving of happiness
This one hits close to home for many of us. That nagging feeling that you don’t deserve to be happy, or that good things happen to other people, but not to you.
It’s a sad and lonely place to be, feeling undeserving of joy and fulfillment. It’s like watching life from the sidelines, convinced you don’t belong in the game.
But let me tell you something important: You are deserving of happiness, just as much as anyone else. Your worth is not determined by your mistakes or shortcomings, but by your inherent humanity.
Everyone has the right to pursue happiness, and that includes you. Don’t let low self-esteem rob you of the joy and fulfillment you deserve.
7) Staying in unhealthy relationships
There was a time when I stayed in relationships that didn’t serve me well – where I wasn’t respected, valued, or treated with kindness. I convinced myself that it was all I deserved.
This is a common trap for those with low self-esteem. We settle for less than we deserve because we don’t believe we’re worth more.
But here’s what I’ve learned: You deserve respect. You deserve kindness. You deserve to be treated well. And if someone isn’t treating you the way you deserve, it’s okay to walk away.
The people you surround yourself with have a big impact on your self-esteem. Choose relationships that lift you up, not ones that bring you down.
8) Overachieving at work
This might seem like a good thing, right? But hear me out.
Sometimes, people with low self-esteem become workaholics, always striving for perfection, and pushing themselves to the limit. They believe that by doing more and achieving more, they can prove their worth.
But no amount of external success can make up for an internal sense of unworthiness. It’s like trying to fill a bottomless pit – no matter how much you achieve, it never feels enough.
Your value is not defined by your productivity or success. It’s okay to strive for excellence, but not at the cost of your wellbeing. Balance is key.
9) Constantly comparing yourself to others
Social media has made it easier than ever to compare ourselves to others. But the truth is, comparison is a trap that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
If you find yourself constantly measuring your worth against the success, appearance, or achievements of others, it might be time to take a step back.
Everyone’s journey is unique. Your value isn’t determined by how you stack up against others. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, try redirecting that energy towards your own growth and self-improvement.
10) Not taking care of yourself
The most crucial thing to understand about low self-esteem is how it can lead to neglecting your own needs. This might manifest as skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, or ignoring your mental health.
Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Your body, your mind, your wellbeing – they’re all worth being prioritized. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s an act of self-love and respect.
You are worthy of care and kindness, especially from yourself. Prioritize your wellbeing, because you truly matter.
