It’s not about being a people pleaser, but we all want to be liked to some degree, right?
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we do things that can rub people the wrong way.
You might think you’re just being yourself, but certain habits or behaviours could be sending out negative vibes that instantly make people dislike you.
In this article, I’ll share with you the 10 unconscious things you’re doing that might be turning people off. After all, knowledge is power and a little self-awareness goes a long way.
1) Not making eye contact
Believe it or not, how you use your eyes can have a huge impact on how people perceive you.
Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It shows that you’re present, attentive, and interested in what the other person has to say.
But when you’re constantly looking away or checking your phone while someone is talking to you, it sends out a clear message that you’re disinterested or even disrespectful.
It’s something so small and yet, it can instantly make people feel unimportant or disregarded.
So next time, try to be aware of your eye contact. A little effort can go a long way in improving how people perceive you.
2) Being a conversation hog
We’ve all been there. You’re in a conversation with someone who just won’t stop talking about themselves. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
I remember once, I was at a networking event. I met this person who seemed friendly enough at first. But as soon as we started talking, it quickly became apparent that they weren’t interested in hearing anything I had to say. Every time I tried to contribute to the conversation, they would interrupt with another story about themselves.
It was incredibly frustrating and off-putting. It made me feel like my thoughts and experiences were unimportant.
In conversations, it’s essential to strike a balance between talking and listening. If you’re doing all the talking, you might not realize it, but you could be making people feel unheard and undervalued.
3) Negativity overload
Did you know that our brains are naturally wired to pay more attention to negative information than positive? It’s a survival instinct, a throwback to the times when we had to be constantly alert to danger.
But in today’s world, this negativity bias can work against us. Especially when it comes to how people perceive us.
If you’re someone who constantly complains, criticizes others or is always the bearer of bad news, people might start distancing themselves from you. Nobody likes to be around a person who is consistently negative.
It’s important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and challenges, and adding more negativity into their lives can make them feel overwhelmed and stressed.
4) Ignoring personal space
We all have our own invisible bubble, an area of personal space that we feel comfortable in. When someone invades this space, it can feel intrusive and uncomfortable.
While cultural norms can vary greatly on what is considered an acceptable distance, respecting personal space is universal.
If you find yourself standing too close to someone, touching them without permission, or leaning over their shoulder, you may be unknowingly causing discomfort. It’s something subtle that can instantly make people feel uneasy around you.
5) Dominating with negativity
Negativity can be a real conversation killer. It’s like a dark cloud that casts a shadow on the interaction.
When you consistently focus on the negative aspects of life, people, or even the weather, it can be exhausting for those around you. They might start to associate you with that negativity, making them less inclined to spend time with you.
Balance is key – a sprinkle of positivity can go a long way in making interactions more enjoyable for everyone involved.
6) Lack of empathy
We’re all human, and we all have our own stories filled with highs and lows. When someone shares a part of their journey with you, showing empathy can make a world of difference.
If you dismiss their feelings or experiences, or worse, judge them for it, it sends a clear message that you don’t respect or value their emotions. It can make people feel small and insignificant.
However, showing understanding and compassion can create a bond of trust and respect. It’s not always about agreeing with someone, but acknowledging their feelings and showing that you care.
When someone opens up to you, remember to lend an empathetic ear. It can transform an ordinary interaction into a meaningful connection.
7) Constant distraction
I’ll never forget the day I was sharing some exciting news with a friend, but they kept glancing at their phone every few seconds. It was as if they were physically there, but mentally somewhere else.
It made me feel like my news wasn’t important enough to hold their attention. It’s moments like these that can instantly make people feel unappreciated and undervalued.
In today’s digitally dominated world, it’s so easy to get distracted. But when you’re interacting with someone, giving them your undivided attention can make them feel seen and heard.
Your phone can wait, but the moment you’re in won’t last forever. So put your devices away and engage fully in the conversation. You might be surprised by what you learn.
8) Overdoing the compliments
Compliments are great, right? They make people feel good and boost their self-esteem. But here’s the twist – when they’re overdone, they can actually have the opposite effect.
If you’re constantly showering someone with praise, it can start to feel insincere or even manipulative. This can lead to people questioning your authenticity and ultimately, disliking you.
While it’s good to appreciate and compliment others, it’s best to keep it genuine and balanced. Quality trumps quantity when it comes to giving compliments.
9) Sharing too much, too soon
We’ve all heard that sharing is caring. However, when it comes to personal information, there’s a time and place for everything.
Sharing too much about your life all at once can be overwhelming for others. It may come off as inappropriate or intense, especially in a new relationship or casual acquaintance.
It’s excellent to be open and honest, but remember to build up to those deeper conversations gradually. Allow the relationship to grow naturally over time.
10) Not being genuine
At the end of the day, people appreciate authenticity. They want to interact with real, genuine people who aren’t afraid to be themselves.
If you’re constantly trying to impress others by pretending to be someone you’re not, people will pick up on it. It can make you come across as insincere and untrustworthy.
Be yourself. Embrace your quirks and individuality. Authenticity is attractive and it’s something that can’t be faked. It’s the key to building meaningful and lasting relationships.
