Self-confidence is a tricky thing. It’s not always about what you say, but how you carry yourself and how you interact with others.
You see, when we lack self-confidence, it often shines through in our public behavior – even if we don’t realize it. It’s like a neon sign flashing “low self-esteem” to those around us.
I’m going to share 10 public behaviors that could be showing the world you’re not as confident as you might think. This isn’t about shaming or judging, but about raising awareness.
Let’s dive in.
1) Over-apologizing
Have you ever noticed how some people apologize for everything, even when it’s not their fault? It’s like they’re sorry for existing.
This is a clear sign of low self-confidence. When we constantly say “sorry,” we’re essentially saying that we believe we are always in the wrong, or that our actions or presence is an inconvenience to others.
Apologizing when it’s necessary is a sign of respect and empathy. But overdoing it can send the message that you feel less important than those around you.
When you feel the urge to apologize, stop and ask yourself: did I actually do something wrong? If not, resist the urge to apologize. Stand firm in your worthiness of occupying space. It’s a small step towards building your self-confidence.
2) Avoiding eye contact
I remember a time when I would consistently avoid making eye contact with people. I’d look at the ground, their shoulder, anywhere but their eyes.
Why? Because I just didn’t feel confident in myself. Looking someone in the eyes felt too intimate, too revealing. I was afraid they’d see the insecurity I was trying to hide.
Eye contact is a fundamental part of human communication. It signals that we’re engaged, interested, and confident. When we consistently avoid it, it’s often a sign that we’re uncomfortable or lacking in self-confidence.
If you find yourself avoiding eye contact like I used to, try pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little. Start with brief moments of eye contact and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable. It’s a simple change that can make a big difference in how others perceive you – and how you perceive yourself.
3) Speaking too quickly
When we’re nervous or unsure of ourselves, we tend to talk faster. It’s as if we’re trying to get our words out as quickly as possible, to minimize the time we’re in the spotlight.
This behavior has been observed in numerous scientific studies. Researchers have found that individuals with low self-esteem or high levels of anxiety often exhibit rapid speech patterns.
Rapid speech can make it difficult for others to follow what you’re saying, and it can also signal to them that you’re uneasy or lack confidence.
If you notice that you tend to speak quickly in public situations, try slowing down your pace. Take a breath between sentences. Allow your words to have the space they deserve. It will not only make you easier to understand, but it will also project an image of confidence and calm.
4) Fidgeting
We all have our little nervous habits, like tapping our foot or twirling our hair. But when we’re in public and feeling unsure of ourselves, these habits can become more pronounced.
Fidgeting is a physical manifestation of our internal discomfort. It’s a way for our body to release the nervous energy that comes with feeling insecure or anxious. But to others, it can read as a clear sign of low self-confidence.
If you find yourself fidgeting a lot in public, try to be aware of it. Practice mindfulness and stress-management techniques to help you stay calm and collected. And remember, everyone has their insecurities – you’re not alone. The key is not to let them control your behavior.
5) Seeking constant validation
We all like a bit of reassurance now and then. But if you find yourself always seeking validation from others, it might be a sign of low self-confidence.
Constantly checking in with phrases like “Does that make sense?” or “Am I doing this right?” sends a message that you’re not sure of your own abilities or judgments.
Confidence comes from knowing and trusting in your own worth and abilities.
6) Hiding behind a mask
How often do you show your true self to the world? Or do you often hide behind a mask, pretending to be someone you’re not?
I see this happening so often. People trying to fit into a mold, hiding their true feelings, opinions, and personality. But the truth is, this is often a sign of low self-confidence.
Believing that you need to hide your true self suggests that you don’t think you’re good enough as you are. But let me tell you something – you are. You’re unique, and that’s what makes you special.
Don’t hide behind a mask. Be brave. Be yourself. Trust me, it’s the most liberating thing you can do for yourself.
7) Shying away from compliments
I’ll admit, I used to be terrible at accepting compliments. Whenever someone would say something nice about me or my work, I’d immediately downplay it or brush it off.
This habit of shying away from compliments is often a sign of low self-confidence. It stems from feeling unworthy or uncomfortable with praise.
But over time, I’ve learned to simply say “thank you” and accept the compliment graciously. It’s a small change, but it’s helped me feel more comfortable with myself and more confident in my abilities.
If you find yourself deflecting compliments, try to accept them instead. You deserve to be recognized for your achievements and qualities. Don’t let your lack of self-confidence rob you of that.
8) Always being the listener
You might think that being a good listener is always a positive thing. And don’t get me wrong, it is. But if you’re always the one listening and never the one speaking, it might be a sign of low self-confidence.
When we lack confidence, we may hold back from sharing our own thoughts and opinions. We might believe that what we have to say isn’t as important or interesting as what others have to say.
But remember this: your voice matters. Your thoughts, opinions, and experiences are valuable. Don’t be afraid to take up space in a conversation. It’s not about dominating the discussion, but about contributing to it. You have a lot to offer, so let your voice be heard.
9) Negative self-talk
We all have an inner voice. But what is yours saying to you? If it’s constantly criticizing or belittling you, then that’s a clear sign of low self-confidence.
Negative self-talk is a vicious cycle. The more we berate ourselves, the lower our self-confidence drops. And the lower our self-confidence, the more we resort to negative self-talk.
The good news is, you can change this. Start by becoming aware of your inner dialogue. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, challenge those thoughts. Replace them with positive affirmations. It may feel strange at first, but with practice, it can significantly boost your self-confidence.
10) Not standing up for yourself
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s the importance of standing up for yourself. If you don’t respect and value yourself, how can you expect others to?
People with low self-confidence often struggle with assertiveness. They may allow others to walk over them or take advantage of them, simply because they don’t feel worthy of standing their ground.
But remember this: you are worthy. You have a right to your opinions and feelings. You have a right to be treated with respect. So, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. It’s a crucial step towards building self-confidence and ensuring others respect you too.
