Ever wonder why some secrets are safer with certain people than others? Well, psychology has some answers.
It all boils down to individual traits and behaviors.
Some folks, no matter how close they are to you, just aren’t wired to keep secrets.
There are specific types of people who, unfortunately, you can’t rely on to keep your secrets safe.
In this article, we’ll see who these people are.
1) Gossipers
Ever heard the saying, “If they’ll gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you”? Well, psychology backs this up.
Gossipers are one type of people you might want to be wary of when it comes to secrets.
They thrive on the thrill of sharing information that isn’t theirs to share.
For them, the temptation to spill your secret may simply be too strong to resist.
It’s not always easy to identify a gossiper, especially when you’re part of their gossip loop.
But a good rule of thumb is to observe their conversation patterns.
Do they often share others’ private information with you? If the answer is yes, there’s a high chance they’ll do the same with your secrets.
So, as much as you might enjoy the juicy tidbits they provide, remember that your secret could be their next headline.
It’s wise to refrain from sharing confidential information with them.
Trust me, it’s better safe than sorry.
2) Impulsive personalities
Impulsivity can be a charming feature, but it’s not always the best trait when it comes to keeping secrets.
Impulsive people tend to act first and think later.
They may unintentionally spill your secret in the heat of the moment or during an emotional conversation.
Let me share a personal story. I once had a friend, let’s call him Alex. Alex was the life of the party.
Always spontaneous, always fun. But his impulsiveness had a downside.
One day, I shared a personal secret with him, something I wasn’t ready to tell others yet.
Within a week, I started hearing my secret from mutual friends.
Turns out, Alex had let it slip during a night out.
He didn’t mean to betray my trust; it was just his impulsive nature taking over.
So, from my own experience, if you know someone who’s more impulsive than most, be careful about sharing secrets with them.
They might not mean to betray your trust, but their nature might get the best of them.
3) Highly anxious individuals
It may seem counter-intuitive, but highly anxious individuals can sometimes be loose cannons when it comes to keeping secrets.
The weight of carrying someone else’s secret can be stressful, and this added stress can often lead to accidental slips.
According to a study, anxiety can impair our ability to control verbal output.
The researchers found that anxious individuals are more likely to overshare personal information, even when they’re explicitly instructed to remain silent.
While an anxious friend might have the best of intentions, their heightened stress levels could make them more prone to spilling your secrets.
4) Attention seekers
In our social media-driven world, attention-seeking behavior is more common than ever, and it’s something to watch out for when sharing secrets.
People who crave attention often use sensational information to draw the spotlight onto themselves.
Sharing someone else’s secret can provide the ‘shock value’ they’re looking for, especially if the secret is particularly juicy or scandalous.
It’s not that attention seekers are inherently untrustworthy, but their need for validation and attention can sometimes override their sense of loyalty or discretion.
Next time you’re considering sharing a secret, take a moment to consider whether the person you’re telling is likely to use your information as a means of gaining attention.
5) Unempathetic individuals
Empathy plays a vital role in maintaining trust and confidentiality.
People who lack empathy might not fully understand the implications of revealing someone else’s secret.
Unempathetic individuals often struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes, making them less likely to appreciate the potential harm caused by revealing secrets.
They might not grasp why the information was a secret in the first place, or why it’s important to keep it that way.
It’s not always easy to gauge someone’s level of empathy, but it’s worth considering before entrusting them with sensitive information.
A good secret-keeper understands not just what they’re being told, but also why it matters that they keep it to themselves.
6) People who struggle with self-esteem
It’s not easy to talk about this one, but it’s important.
People who struggle with self-esteem issues might use someone else’s secret as a way to feel more important or valued.
When someone is battling insecurities, having someone else’s secret can make them feel included, special, or powerful.
However, this can sometimes lead to them revealing the secret in an attempt to gain validation or acceptance from others.
It’s essential to remember that people struggling with self-esteem issues aren’t bad people.
They’re just dealing with their own inner battles.
But until they learn to find validation within themselves, they might not be the safest vault for your secrets.
Be understanding, be patient, but also be cautious about what you share and with whom.
7) Relationship manipulators
There’s a certain kind of person who uses shared secrets as a form of control in a relationship.
It’s a subtle form of manipulation, but it’s manipulation nonetheless.
I once had a friend who would often remind me of the secrets she kept for me.
It was as if she was using them as a chip in our friendship.
It was her way of asserting control, showing that she had something over me.
I felt indebted to her, and it made our friendship feel less like a bond and more like a power-play.
If you notice someone using your secrets as leverage in your relationship, it’s a clear sign they might not be trustworthy.
True friendship isn’t about keeping score. It’s about mutual respect and trust.
8) Overly friendly individuals
Often, we equate friendliness with trustworthiness. But this isn’t always the case.
Sometimes, those who are overly friendly can be the ones you should be cautious about when sharing secrets.
Overly friendly people often have a wide social circle and lots of social interactions.
This, in turn, provides them more opportunities to share information, intentionally or unintentionally.
It’s also worth noting that some overly friendly individuals might share secrets unintentionally in their bid to connect with others or keep a conversation flowing.
So, while their intentions might not be malicious, the end result could still be your secret getting out.
In short, friendliness is a great trait, but it’s not always synonymous with being able to keep a secret.
9) Habitual liars
Habitual liars are tricky.
While they might seem like ideal secret-keepers because of their ability to bend the truth, they’re actually one of the least reliable types when it comes to keeping secrets.
Why? Because habitual liars can manipulate information for their own benefit.
They might twist your secret, add to it, or even use it as a foundation for their own lies.
It’s a risky game, one that could potentially blow your secret wide open.
Trustworthiness is not about being able to lie well. It’s about being honest and respectful of others’ confidences.
So, think twice before entrusting your secret to a habitual liar.
10) Self-centered individuals
At the heart of it all, the ability to keep a secret is about considering someone else’s needs above your own.
That’s why self-centered individuals can often be the worst at keeping secrets.
If someone is always focused on themselves, they might not consider the impact of revealing your secret.
They may share it without thinking, simply because it benefits them in some way or adds interest to their personal narrative.
Before sharing a secret, consider whether the person you’re telling is able to put your needs above their own.
If the answer is no, it may be best to keep that secret to yourself.
Final thoughts
As Friedrich Nietzsche once remarked, “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
This sentiment encapsulates the importance and impact of trust in our relationships.
When it comes to sharing secrets, let this guide serve as a compass, not a map.
Ultimately, the decision lies in your hands.
Trust your instincts, consider the character of the person you’re confiding in, and remember the potential implications of your secret escaping into the world.
After all, secrets have power. They can bond people together or tear them apart.
It’s up to us to wield that power wisely.
