We’ve all been in conversations that felt a little… off.
Sometimes, it’s just a misunderstanding; other times, it’s because someone struggles with social cues and unknowingly says things that make interactions awkward.
For many men, navigating social situations doesn’t always come naturally.
Psychology shows that certain phrases can signal discomfort, uncertainty, or a lack of awareness about how they’re coming across.
While no one gets it right 100% of the time, understanding these awkward phrases can help improve communication and build stronger connections.
Here are seven common phrases men use when they struggle with social cues—and what they might be saying without realizing it:
1) “I’m just being honest…”
Honesty is great—but there’s a fine line between being direct and being socially unaware.
When someone says, “I’m just being honest,” it often comes after a comment that was a little too blunt, insensitive, or even rude.
Instead of making things better, this phrase just highlights the awkwardness.
Social awareness is a big part of emotional intelligence, and knowing when to soften your words can make all the difference in how people respond to you.
The truth doesn’t have to be harsh to be effective.
Instead of using honesty as an excuse for being tactless, try phrasing things in a way that considers how the other person might feel.
2) “Relax, I was just joking…”
I used to say this a lot—until I realized how often it made things worse.
There was a time when I made a sarcastic joke during a work meeting.
I thought it was harmless, but the person I directed it at didn’t seem amused.
Instead of acknowledging that I might have crossed a line, I laughed and said, “Relax, I was just joking.”; instead of diffusing the tension, it only made things more awkward.
They shut down for the rest of the meeting, and I could tell I had lost some trust.
Psychologist Alfred Adler once said, “A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.”
The same goes for jokes—if you have to backpedal and insist it was just a joke, chances are, it wasn’t received that way.
Humor should bring people together, not make them feel uncomfortable or dismissed.
3) “Whatever…”
I’ll be honest—there was a time in my life when “whatever” was my go-to response when I felt uncomfortable, frustrated, or unsure of what to say.
If a conversation got too serious or I didn’t know how to express myself, I’d just shut down with a casual “whatever.”
I told myself it made me seem unfazed, but the truth? It was a defense mechanism.
Instead of dealing with tough conversations, I was avoiding them; instead of expressing how I really felt, I was shutting people out.
The problem with “whatever” is that it signals disinterest, even when you do care.
It tells people you’re not invested in the conversation, the relationship, or the moment.
Over time, that kind of response pushes people away.
4) “No offense, but…”
I used to think this phrase was a free pass to say whatever was on my mind without consequences; “No offense, but that idea doesn’t make sense.” or “No offense, but you look tired.”
I figured as long as I threw in that little disclaimer, people wouldn’t take it personally.
Here’s the thing, though: If you have to say “no offense” before a comment, there’s a good chance it’s going to offend someone.
Sigmund Freud once said, “Words have a magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair.”
And he was right; words stick with people, whether we intend them to or not.
Saying “no offense” doesn’t erase the sting of what comes next—it just warns the other person that something unpleasant is about to hit them.
5) “I totally understand how you feel…”
This one sounds like a good thing to say, right? I used to think so too.
Whenever a friend or coworker was venting about something tough, I’d quickly jump in with, “I totally understand how you feel.”
I thought I was being supportive—but in reality, I was shutting them down without realizing it.
The truth is, we rarely totally understand what someone else is going through.
Even if we’ve had similar experiences, their emotions, background, and perspective are unique.
By saying “I totally understand,” we sometimes make the conversation about us instead of giving them space to express what they really feel.
A better approach? Instead of assuming you understand, try asking: “That sounds really tough—do you want to talk more about it?” or “I can’t imagine exactly how you’re feeling, but I’m here for you.”
Sometimes, the best way to connect isn’t by claiming to understand—it’s by showing that you’re willing to listen.
6) “I’m just wired this way…”
I used to say this as an excuse.
If I was being impatient, distant, or bad at communicating, I’d shrug and say, “I’m just wired this way.”
It felt like a way to explain myself—but really, it was just a way to avoid change.
The problem with this phrase is that it shuts down growth.
When we tell ourselves that our personality is fixed, we stop trying to improve.
And the truth? We can change—our brains are actually designed for it.
Psychologist Carol Dweck, known for her work on mindset, once said, “Becoming is better than being.”
Her research shows that people with a growth mindset—who believe they can develop skills and behaviors—tend to be more successful in life than those who believe their traits are set in stone.
Growth starts when we stop seeing our flaws as permanent and start believing we can do better.
7) “I don’t care…”
For a long time, I thought saying “I don’t care” made me seem easygoing.
I figured I was just being flexible—but in reality, I was coming across as disengaged.
The problem with “I don’t care” is that it doesn’t just signal indifference about the decision—it can make people feel like they don’t matter, either.
Even when we think we’re being neutral, this phrase can come off as dismissive or uninterested.
People want to feel like their thoughts and choices matter—especially in relationships.
I’ve learned that instead of defaulting to “I don’t care,” it’s better to engage, even in small ways.
A simple “I’m open to anything, but what do you think?” or “Both options sound good—do you have a preference?” keeps the conversation flowing and shows that you’re present.
Because in the end, showing you care—about the little things and the big things—is what really strengthens connections.
