Feeling comfortable in our own skin goes beyond accepting our physical appearances. It’s about embracing who we are, quirks and all, and being okay with it.
Yet, there are habits we unknowingly imbibe that prevent us from achieving this comfort level.
Psychology reveals that certain patterns of behavior can inhibit our self-acceptance and contentment. By recognizing these habits, we can begin to make the necessary changes.
Let’s dive into seven habits you might want to bid farewell to, if you’re really keen on feeling at home in your own skin.
These are not just random suggestions, but insights drawn from the realm of psychology.
Remember, the journey to self-comfort is not a sprint but a marathon, and every step counts. Let’s take the first step together.
1) Comparing yourself to others
It’s human nature to compare ourselves with those around us. We do it without even realizing, whether it’s about our physical appearances, career achievements, or life progress.
The downside? This habit can often leave us feeling inadequate and uncomfortable in our own skin. It can create a false perception of who we should be, rather than helping us embrace who we truly are.
Renowned psychologist, Dr. Carl Rogers, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This quote illustrates the importance of self-acceptance as a catalyst for personal growth.
Saying goodbye to this habit of comparison isn’t easy. Yet, it’s a crucial step towards feeling comfortable in our own skin.
The goal isn’t to become better than someone else but to become the best version of ourselves.
Let’s embrace our individuality and remind ourselves that everyone’s journey is different and equally significant.
2) Seeking constant validation
I remember a time when I used to rely heavily on others’ opinions to validate my decisions, whether it was about choosing a career path or a dress for an event. It was as if their validation was the ticket to my self-acceptance.
Over time, I realized this habit was a roadblock to feeling comfortable in my own skin. It was as if I was letting others hold the key to my self-esteem and happiness.
Famed Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” This quote resonates deeply with me now.
The pursuit of constant validation can prevent us from discovering our authentic selves because we’re too busy trying to fit into someone else’s perception of us.
It’s important to remember that our worth isn’t measured by others’ opinions but by how we view ourselves.
Saying goodbye to this habit has made me feel more comfortable with who I am and has given me the courage to make decisions that align with my values and aspirations.
So, let’s trust ourselves more and seek validation a little less.
3) Suppressing emotions
Have you ever found yourself pretending to be okay when you’re not?
I’ve been there too, bottling up my emotions, painting on a brave face, and convincing myself that it’s the “strong” thing to do.
But the truth is, suppressing emotions is doing more harm than good.
It’s like trying to hold a beach ball under water. It takes a lot of effort, and eventually, it pops back up with even more force.
Similarly, when we suppress our feelings, they find a way to surface, often with greater intensity.
Sigmund Freud, known as the father of psychoanalysis, said, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”
Being honest about our emotions is not a sign of weakness. In fact, acknowledging and expressing our feelings is a vital part of self-care and feeling comfortable in our own skin.
It’s about giving ourselves permission to feel and understanding that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
Let’s start being more open about our emotions. After all, they’re a part of who we are and there’s no need to hide them.
4) Neglecting self-care
In the hustle and bustle of life, we often put ourselves on the back burner. We tend to prioritize work, relationships, and countless other responsibilities over our own well-being.
But here’s the thing—neglecting self-care is akin to sabotaging our relationship with ourselves. It sends a message that we’re not important, leading to a decreased sense of self-worth and discomfort in our own skin.
A study from the University of Michigan revealed that individuals who practiced regular self-care reported higher levels of self-esteem and less psychological distress. The research showed a direct correlation between self-care practices and a person’s comfort with their own identity.
Self-care isn’t selfish or indulgent—it’s a necessity. It can be as simple as setting aside time each day for relaxation, pursuing a hobby, or taking care of your physical health.
It’s time to prioritize our needs and well-being, because we matter too. Let’s start treating self-care as a non-negotiable appointment with ourselves.
5) Overthinking
Overthinking can be a real joy-killer. I’ve spent countless nights trapped in a loop of “what ifs” and “if onlys”, replaying scenarios in my head and imagining the worst possible outcomes.
But overthinking doesn’t change anything. It only amplifies anxiety and discomfort with oneself. It’s like being stuck in a maze of your own thoughts, losing sight of reality.
The key is to acknowledge when we are spiraling into overthinking and consciously bring our attention back to the present moment. It’s about learning to let go of things we can’t control and focusing on what we can change.
So, let’s try to quieten the noise in our heads and make room for peace. After all, we deserve to feel at ease with ourselves, free from the chains of overthinking.
6) Constantly striving for perfection
Perfection—it’s a lofty ideal that many of us strive for, believing it’s the route to success and self-acceptance.
But here’s the counterintuitive truth: striving endlessly for perfection can actually make us feel less comfortable in our own skin. It sets unrealistic standards and makes us feel like we’re always falling short, never good enough.
Psychologist and TED Speaker, Brené Brown, puts it perfectly, “Perfectionism is not the path that leads us to our gifts and to our sense of purpose; it’s the hazardous detour.”
Letting go of the need to be perfect doesn’t mean settling for mediocrity. It means acknowledging that we’re a work in progress and that mistakes and flaws are part of the human experience.
It’s about striving to be better, not perfect, and understanding that our worth isn’t defined by our achievements but by who we are as individuals.
Let’s say goodbye to perfectionism, and hello to self-acceptance.
7) Living in the past or future
Do you find yourself dwelling on past mistakes or constantly worrying about the future? It’s a common habit but one that can rob us of our present joy and comfort.
Psychology pioneer, Abraham Maslow, once said, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.”
Let’s take his words to heart. By focusing on the present moment, we can cultivate acceptance for who we are right now, not who we were or who we might become.
After all, the present is where life happens. Let’s live it fully and comfortably in our own skin.
Final reflections
The journey towards feeling comfortable in our own skin is deeply personal and unique to each individual.
It’s about acknowledging our habits, understanding the psychological underpinnings, and taking steps to change what doesn’t serve us.
Letting go of these habits doesn’t mean we’ll never falter. It means when we do, we can recognize it, learn from it, and continue moving forward.
Remember, comfort in our own skin isn’t about achieving a state of perfection. It’s about embracing ourselves as we are—flaws, quirks, and all.
It’s about understanding that it’s okay to be a work in progress.
As we bid farewell to these seven habits, let’s also welcome a renewed sense of self-acceptance and a closer connection with ourselves.
Because at the end of the day, feeling comfortable in our skin is the most liberating feeling one can experience.
So here’s to celebrating our uniqueness and journeying towards becoming the best versions of ourselves. After all, there’s no better home for our souls than in the comfort of our own skin.
