There’s a clear line between pushing people away and setting boundaries.
That line is all about respect. Asserting boundaries is about defining your personal space, your comfort zone. It’s not about shutting people out, but about letting them know where you stand.
Setting boundaries, however, can be tricky. It’s all too easy to come off as rude or uncaring. But smart people know that there are certain phrases that can help you assert your boundaries without offending anyone.
Here are some phrases you should start using to assert your boundaries in a respectful way.
1) “I need some space”
At times, we all need a little breathing room.
In a world where we are constantly connected, it can be hard to find a moment of peace. But setting boundaries is not about isolating yourself, but rather about taking care of your own needs.
The phrase “I need some space” can be a gentle but firm way to assert your boundaries. It tells the other person that you value your personal time and space, without causing offense.
It’s important to note that this phrase should not be used as an excuse to avoid dealing with problems. It’s about taking care of your mental health and ensuring that you are in the best place possible to interact with others.
2) “Let’s reschedule”
There are times when plans are made and life gets in the way, or I simply don’t have the energy to socialize.
I used to force myself to follow through with these plans, out of fear of disappointing others. But over time, I realized that this was leading to burnout and resentment.
That’s when I started using the phrase “Let’s reschedule”. This phrase works wonders in setting boundaries without causing offense. It communicates that although I value the person and our plans, I also value my own wellbeing.
For example, last week a friend suggested a dinner meetup on a day when I had back-to-back meetings. Instead of just saying yes and stretching myself thin, I said, “I would love to meet, but could we possibly reschedule? This day is looking quite packed for me.”
The result? My friend understood, we picked another day, and our dinner turned out to be a relaxed and enjoyable one.
3) “I can’t commit to this right now”
In a fast-paced world where everyone is juggling multiple responsibilities, it’s easy to find ourselves overcommitted. Saying yes to everything is not always the best strategy, especially when it starts to affect our ability to deliver.
The phrase “I can’t commit to this right now” is a polite but firm way of conveying that you can’t take on any additional responsibilities at the moment. It’s a clear assertion of your boundaries, without causing offense.
The interesting part about this phrase is that it’s backed by science. Research has shown that our brains can only handle a certain amount of tasks at once. When we take on too many commitments, our performance in each task suffers.
4) “That doesn’t work for me”
We all have different limits, comfort zones, and preferences. And that’s perfectly okay. But expressing these can sometimes be tricky without causing offense.
The phrase “That doesn’t work for me” is a simple yet effective way of asserting your boundaries. It communicates your needs or constraints without being confrontational or disrespectful.
For instance, if a colleague suggests a meeting time that clashes with your personal commitments, or a friend suggests an activity that you’re uncomfortable with, this phrase can be a polite but firm way to express your stance.
Communication is key and using phrases like “That doesn’t work for me” can help maintain mutual respect and understanding.
5) “I’m not comfortable with that”
There have been times in my life when I’ve been placed in situations that I wasn’t entirely comfortable with. For the longest time, I struggled to voice my discomfort, worried about how others would react.
The phrase “I’m not comfortable with that” has since become a crucial part of my vocabulary. It’s straightforward, respectful, and honest. It allows me to express my feelings without causing offense or escalating the situation.
One instance that comes to mind was during a team-building exercise at work. We were supposed to share personal stories about our childhood. While I understood the intent behind the activity, I wasn’t quite ready to share such personal details with my colleagues. So, I said, “I appreciate the spirit of this exercise, but I’m not comfortable sharing such personal stories.”
This phrase has taught me that it’s okay to voice discomfort and has empowered me to stand up for my boundaries.
6) “I have another commitment”
We all have multiple commitments in our lives, both personal and professional. And sometimes, these commitments can clash with other requests or invitations.
The phrase “I have another commitment” is a respectful and non-offensive way to assert your boundaries. It conveys the message that you have prior engagements or responsibilities that you need to fulfill.
Whether it’s a family event, a personal project, or simply some much-needed downtime, this phrase helps you maintain your commitments without offending anyone.
It’s always important to remember that you don’t need to justify or explain your commitments. Your time is your own, and it’s completely within your right to prioritize it as you see fit. This kind of honest communication fosters respect and understanding in any relationship.
7) “No”
This might seem overly simple, but it is perhaps the most powerful phrase to assert your boundaries: “No”.
“No” is a complete sentence and doesn’t require an explanation or justification. It’s a firm, clear, and respectful way to assert your boundaries.
Despite its simplicity, saying “no” can be incredibly difficult for many people. We often fear it will cause offense or damage our relationships. But the truth is, if used properly and respectfully, it can be one of the most effective ways to protect our time, energy, and well-being.
Asserting your boundaries is about respecting yourself as much as you respect others. And there’s nothing more respectful than honest communication. So don’t shy away from using the power of a simple “no”.
