The way we speak has a huge impact on how others see us; the right words can build trust and respect—while the wrong ones can quietly undermine both.
Over time, I’ve noticed that certain phrases instantly make people seem less confident, less credible, or even less trustworthy.
And the worst part? Most of us don’t even realize we’re using them.
If you want to be taken seriously and earn real respect in life, it’s important to pay attention to the words you choose.
Some phrases do more harm than good, and cutting them from your vocabulary can make a world of difference.
Here are seven phrases you should firmly avoid if you want to be respected:
1) “I can’t…”
Nothing kills respect faster than a defeatist attitude.
Saying “I can’t” too often makes you seem incapable or unwilling to rise to a challenge.
While no one expects you to do everything, constantly framing things as impossible can make others doubt your competence—or your drive.
Instead of shutting down opportunities with “I can’t”, try shifting your language.
Say “I’ll find a way”, “I’ll figure it out”, or if it’s truly outside your ability, “That’s not my area, but I’ll connect you with someone who can help.”
People respect those who tackle challenges head-on.
Don’t let two simple words hold you back.
2) “That’s just the way I am!”
I used to say this a lot—usually when someone pointed out a flaw or suggested I improve in some way.
A former colleague once told me I interrupted people too often in meetings.
My immediate response? “That’s just the way I am. I get excited and jump in.”
I thought I was just explaining myself, but really, I was shutting down any chance for growth.
Over time, I realized that this phrase is just an excuse.
It signals to others that you’re unwilling to adapt, learn, or improve.
People respect those who are willing to grow—not those who insist on staying the same no matter what.
Instead of dismissing feedback, try saying “That’s something I’ll work on” or “Thanks for pointing that out—I hadn’t noticed.”
Respect comes from self-awareness and a willingness to evolve.
3) “No offense, but…”
If you have to say “No offense, but…”, chances are, you’re about to say something offensive.
Studies show that people actually feel more insulted when a statement is preceded by a disclaimer like this.
It signals that you know your words might come across as rude, but you’re saying them anyway—which makes it seem even more intentional.
If you need to give constructive criticism, just be direct and respectful.
Rather than saying “No offense, but this report is a mess,” try “This report could use some restructuring—let’s work on making it clearer.”
4) “It’s not my fault!”
Nothing makes someone seem less trustworthy than refusing to take responsibility.
Blaming others—even when you’re not entirely at fault—makes you look defensive and unwilling to own up to mistakes.
People respect those who can acknowledge when something went wrong and focus on finding a solution rather than pointing fingers.
Other than saying “It’s not my fault,” try “Here’s what happened, and here’s how I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Taking accountability shows strength, while avoiding it only damages your credibility.
5) “I don’t care.”
Saying “I don’t care” might seem harmless, but it sends the message that you’re disengaged, indifferent, or unwilling to contribute.
I’ve seen firsthand how this phrase can shut down conversations.
Someone asks for input, and instead of offering a thoughtful response, they get “I don’t care”—which instantly kills the discussion.
Over time, this kind of attitude makes people stop asking for your opinion altogether.
Even if you truly have no preference, there’s a better way to say it.
Try “I’m open to whatever you think is best” or “I trust your judgment on this.”
Showing even a small amount of engagement fosters respect and keeps communication open.
6) “That’s not my job.”
Few things make a worse impression than refusing to help just because something isn’t in your job description.
Of course, you shouldn’t let people take advantage of you—but flat-out saying “That’s not my job” makes you seem uncooperative and unwilling to be a team player.
People respect those who are resourceful and willing to step up when needed, not those who shut down opportunities to contribute.
If something truly isn’t your responsibility, a better approach is to say, “I may not be the best person for this, but I can help point you in the right direction.”
Offering a solution instead of shutting the conversation down shows professionalism and leadership.
7) “I’m too busy.”
Everyone is busy, but constantly saying “I’m too busy” makes it sound like you don’t value the people or opportunities in front of you.
When someone asks for your time, a better approach is to be honest but respectful.
Say “I have a lot on my plate right now, but let’s find a time that works” or “I can’t commit to this fully, but I’d love to help in a smaller way.”
Respect isn’t just about how much you do—it’s about how you communicate your priorities.
Words shape perception
The way we speak doesn’t just influence how others see us—it shapes how we see ourselves.
Psychologists have long studied the connection between the power of language and self-perception.
The words we use repeatedly can reinforce certain mindsets, shaping our confidence, credibility, and even our relationships.
Every phrase we choose either builds or weakens the respect we receive.
Words like “I can’t”, “That’s not my job”, or “I don’t care” may seem small in the moment, but over time, they create an image of who we are—one that others react to, and one that we eventually internalize.
Respect isn’t demanded; it’s earned through consistency in words and actions.
Sometimes, the first step is simply being more intentional with the phrases we allow into our daily conversations.
