A few years ago, I found myself in a job that looked fine on the surface—but something always felt… off.
No matter how hard I worked, certain colleagues seemed to get all the best opportunities, the praise, and the promotions. It wasn’t just my imagination. There was a clear pattern, and it was frustrating.
And here’s the truth: favoritism isn’t just annoying—it can quietly destroy team morale, stifle growth, and leave talented employees feeling stuck.
If you’ve ever had that nagging feeling that your workplace isn’t as fair as it should be, you might be onto something.
In this article, I’ll walk you through seven psychological signs that favoritism is at play. Recognizing them is the first step to figuring out what to do next.
Let’s dive in.
1) Certain people always get the best opportunities
Have you ever noticed that the same few people always get the exciting projects, the promotions, or the boss’s praise—no matter how hard everyone else works?
That’s not just luck. It’s a classic sign of favoritism.
In a healthy workplace, opportunities are given based on merit, effort, and skills. But in a culture of favoritism, certain employees seem to have an invisible advantage. They get access to valuable resources, leadership support, and career growth that others don’t.
Psychologically, this can be incredibly discouraging. Research shows that when employees feel overlooked despite their hard work, motivation drops and resentment builds. Over time, this leads to disengagement—and even top performers start to check out mentally.
If you’re seeing this pattern at your workplace, take note. It might not be about your performance at all—but about a system that’s working against you.
2) Feedback and rules aren’t the same for everyone
I’ll never forget the time I got called out in a team meeting for missing a minor deadline. It wasn’t a huge deal, but my manager made sure everyone knew about it.
A week later, one of my colleagues—who just so happened to be on friendly terms with the boss—missed a much bigger deadline. Not only was it brushed under the rug, but they were still praised for their “hard work.”
That’s when I realized: not everyone was playing by the same rules.
Favoritism often shows up in how feedback is given (or not given). Some employees get constructive criticism, while others seem immune to it.
The same behavior that earns one person a reprimand is completely overlooked when someone else does it. And when rules only apply to certain people, it creates an unfair and toxic environment.
When leaders let things slide for their favorites, it sends a clear message that fairness isn’t a priority.
If you’ve noticed this happening at your job, trust your instincts. Unequal treatment isn’t just frustrating—it’s a sign of deeper workplace dysfunction.
3) Promotions feel predetermined
A few years ago, I applied for a promotion that I was sure I had a solid shot at.
I had put in the work, exceeded my targets, and even taken on extra responsibilities. But when the promotion was announced, it went to someone who had far less experience—yet happened to be close friends with the manager.
At first, I thought maybe I just wasn’t the right fit. But then it kept happening. Time and time again, promotions went to the same inner circle, while other hardworking employees were left wondering what they were doing wrong.
This is one of the clearest signs of favoritism: when career advancement feels less about performance and more about personal connections.
In a fair workplace, promotions are based on skills, effort, and results. But in a biased environment, they’re often decided long before applications are even open.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck watching the same people move up while others are overlooked, you’re not imagining it. A culture of favoritism doesn’t just affect morale—it can limit real opportunities for growth.
4) Employees are afraid to speak up
In one of my past jobs, I quickly learned that questioning decisions—or even just offering a different perspective—was risky.
Employees who spoke up about unfair treatment or suggested improvements were subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) sidelined. Meanwhile, those who stayed agreeable with management were rewarded with better treatment and opportunities.
This kind of environment creates a culture of silence, where people hold back their thoughts for fear of consequences. And research backs this up.
A study published found that workplace favoritism is strongly linked to employee silence—meaning workers in these environments are less likely to voice concerns or report unethical behavior because they believe it won’t make a difference or could even backfire (Arasli & Tumer, 2008).
When employees don’t feel safe speaking up, creativity and collaboration suffer. Worse, it allows favoritism to continue unchecked.
If you’ve ever hesitated to express an honest opinion at work because you feared retaliation or being pushed out of the “in-group,” that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
5) Mistakes are overlooked for some, but not others
I once had a coworker who could do no wrong—literally. Even when they made obvious mistakes, our manager would laugh it off or find a way to shift the blame elsewhere.
Meanwhile, if I or anyone else slipped up, even in a small way, we’d get called into a meeting to discuss how we could “do better.” This kind of double standard is a classic sign of favoritism.
In a fair workplace, accountability applies to everyone equally. But when certain employees can make repeated errors without consequences while others are held to a much stricter standard, it creates resentment and kills motivation.
Over time, this kind of bias can lead to a toxic work environment where people stop taking initiative—not because they don’t care, but because they know the rules aren’t the same for everyone.
If you’ve ever watched someone get away with mistakes that would have landed you in trouble, you’re likely dealing with an unfair system.
6) Social connections matter more than skills
At one of my previous jobs, I noticed something strange—some employees barely put in effort but still got all the best opportunities.
Why? Because they had the right social connections. Whether it was grabbing drinks with the boss after work or coming from the same background as upper management, their relationships seemed to matter more than their actual skills or contributions.
Meanwhile, talented and hardworking employees who weren’t part of that inner circle were constantly overlooked. It didn’t matter how well they performed—their lack of personal connections kept them from advancing.
This isn’t just frustrating; it’s damaging to a company’s success. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, known for his work on emotional intelligence, once said, “A prerequisite to motivation and success in any endeavor is a sense that you control your own destiny.”
But in a workplace driven by favoritism, employees quickly realize that no amount of hard work will change their future if they’re not socially connected to the right people.
If you’ve ever felt like promotions and recognition are based more on friendships than actual ability, you’re not alone. A workplace where social ties outweigh merit is one where fairness—and trust—are in short supply.
7) Favoritism isn’t always obvious
You might think favoritism would be easy to spot—like a manager openly giving perks to their favorite employees. But the truth is, it’s often much more subtle.
In one job, I didn’t notice it at first. My manager wasn’t overly friendly with certain employees, and there weren’t any blatant acts of unfairness.
But over time, I picked up on small things: certain people had more casual, comfortable conversations with leadership. Their ideas were always met with enthusiasm, while others had to work twice as hard to be heard.
They got access to better projects—not because it was obvious favoritism, but because they were simply “trusted” more.
This is what makes favoritism so tricky—it doesn’t always look like special treatment on the surface. Instead, it can show up in who gets the benefit of the doubt, who is given second chances, or whose voice carries more weight in meetings.
So how do you know if it’s happening? A practical way to check is to ask yourself: If someone else did the same work I’m doing, would they get more recognition or opportunities?
If the answer is yes, you might be dealing with an unfair system—one that affects workplace morale more than most people realize.
How to move forward
If you’ve recognized some of these signs in your workplace, you’re not alone—and you’re not imagining it. Favoritism is real, and it can be frustrating and discouraging. But here’s the good news: you have options.
First, focus on what you can control. Keep doing great work and document your contributions. If favoritism is affecting your growth, consider having a direct (but professional) conversation with your manager about opportunities for advancement.
If the culture isn’t changing, don’t be afraid to explore new possibilities. A workplace that values fairness and merit does exist—you just have to find it.
At the end of the day, your career should be built on your skills and effort, not office politics. Recognizing favoritism is the first step toward making a change—whether that means improving your current situation or finding a better one elsewhere.
