Unraveling the complex web woven by a narcissist can feel like a significant victory. But what happens when they realize you’re onto them?
The moment a narcissist knows you’ve figured them out, expect some major changes in their behavior. According to psychology, they’re likely to react in certain predictable ways.
In this article, I’ll walk you through the 7 things to expect when a narcissist knows you’ve seen through their facade. Keep in mind, understanding these responses is key to protecting your own well-being.
Let’s dive into the world of narcissistic behavior and arm ourselves with knowledge. Remember, awareness is the first step towards change.
1) Expect a shift in behavior
Narcissists are masters of manipulation and control. When they start to feel that control slipping away, their behavior can undergo a dramatic shift.
According to psychology, once a narcissist realizes you have figured them out, they may become more aggressive in their attempts to regain control. This could manifest as increased criticism, gaslighting, or even outright hostility.
Alternatively, they might try to charm you back into their good graces with grand gestures and flattering compliments. This is known as “love bombing,” and it’s a common tactic used by narcissists to reel people back in.
Whichever path they choose, it’s important to remember one thing – this change in behavior is about them, not you. Their actions are an attempt to regain control and have nothing to do with your worth or value.
Stay alert, and remember that you’re not alone in this – many people have experienced the same thing and come out the other side stronger for it.
2) They might play the victim card
This is something I’ve experienced firsthand. Narcissists are known for their ability to play the victim when they feel threatened, and when they realize you’ve figured them out, this tendency can go into overdrive.
In my case, a close friend was notorious for refusing to accept responsibility for her actions. When I finally confronted her about her manipulative behavior, she immediately shifted the blame onto me. Suddenly, I was the one who had misunderstood, who was being overly sensitive, who was out to get her.
She used tears and emotional pleas to try to manipulate the situation in her favor. It was an exhausting experience, but it was also a clear indicator that she had recognized her behavior was no longer going unnoticed.
Narcissists are experts at turning situations around to make themselves look like the innocent party. So if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t let them shift the blame onto you. Stand firm in your understanding of their behavior and don’t let them make you question your judgment.
3) They might try to isolate you
Narcissists thrive on power and control, and one of the ways they maintain this is by isolating their victims from friends, family, and other support systems. It’s a classic tactic used to make the victim more dependent on them, thereby reinforcing their control.
When a narcissist knows you’ve figured them out, they might ramp up these efforts. They may spread rumors about you to your loved ones, or try to convince you that these people are bad for you.
Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who display high levels of narcissism are often skilled at first impressions. They can be charming and charismatic, making it easy for them to win over your friends and family initially.
This can make it even more challenging to convince others of their true nature. But remember, your experiences are valid, and you have the right to choose who you associate with. Don’t let a narcissist’s manipulation tactics dictate your relationships.
4) They may try to undermine your self-confidence
Narcissists often resort to tactics that undermine the confidence of those around them. They do this to create self-doubt, making it easier for them to maintain control.
When they realize you’ve seen through their facade, they might start questioning your memory, your intelligence, or your sanity — a tactic known as gaslighting.
For instance, they might say things like “You’re too sensitive,” “You’re misunderstanding things,” or “You’re crazy,” in an attempt to make you question your perception of reality.
This can be particularly damaging and disorientating.
5) They may intensify their manipulation tactics
I remember when my former boss, a classic narcissist, realized that I had started to see through his manipulation. His tactics suddenly became more aggressive.
He began publicly criticizing my work, undermining my decisions, and attributing my accomplishments to others. It was as if he was trying to break me down completely.
It was one of the most challenging periods of my professional life. But it was also a learning experience. I realized that his attempts to belittle me were not a reflection of my worth or capabilities but were instead a desperate attempt to regain control.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, take heart. It’s tough, but it’s also an opportunity for growth. Stand firm in your understanding of their behavior and use this knowledge to protect yourself.
6) They may resort to personal attacks
When cornered, a narcissist may lash out with personal attacks. These can be brutal and designed to hit where it hurts the most. They might target your insecurities or use intimate knowledge shared in confidence against you.
This can be particularly painful because these attacks often come from someone you’ve trusted or cared about. But remember, this is not a reflection of your worth but rather a desperate attempt by the narcissist to regain control.
Maintain your boundaries and remember that you don’t have to engage in their game. It’s okay to step back, protect your mental health, and seek support when needed. You’re stronger than their words, and you can rise above their attempts to bring you down.
7) They might discard you
The ultimate weapon in a narcissist’s arsenal is discarding. When they realize you’ve figured them out, they might abruptly cut ties, leaving you feeling abandoned and confused.
This is their final attempt to regain control and inflict emotional pain. It’s a harsh reality to face, but knowing this could happen can help you better prepare for such a situation.
Their decision to discard is not a reflection of your worth but rather their inability to maintain a healthy relationship. You’re more than the way they’ve treated you, and with time and support, you’ll come out stronger on the other side.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-preservation
Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be like walking through a minefield. You never know when a step in the wrong direction might trigger an explosion.
The moment you see through their manipulation, the dynamics of your relationship are likely to change. Their behavior might become more aggressive, or they might resort to tactics that are designed to undermine your confidence and isolate you from your support system.
But these actions are not about you. They’re about the narcissist’s desperate attempts to regain control.
When you see through their façade, it threatens their sense of self-worth, and they react accordingly.
Maintain your boundaries, seek support when needed, and most importantly, trust yourself. You’ve figured them out once, and you have the strength and wisdom to handle whatever comes next.
