We’ve all been there — tossing and turning at night, replaying conversations in our heads or stressing about the future. Whether it’s a mistake at work, an awkward social moment, or a fear of what tomorrow holds, our minds have a way of amplifying anxieties that seem all-consuming in the moment.
But here’s the thing: most of what we worry about today won’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
In fact, when we look back in the long run,many of the things that kept us up at night will barely be a blip on our radar.
In this article, we’ll explore seven common worries that tend to weigh us down but ultimately fade away. Ready to gain some perspective?
Let’s dive in.
1) The need for perfection
Perfection is a myth, yet many of us strive for it relentlessly.
You know how it is: we worry about making that presentation flawless or making our home look like a Pinterest board.
The truth is that striving for perfection can drain us emotionally and physically. As noted by the folks at WebMD, it can lead to decreased productivity, anxiety, and even physical health issues.
What truly matters in the long run is progress, not perfection. It’s about learning, growing, and taking steps forward – even if they’re small.
As the famous psychologist Carl Rogers once said: “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” Let’s keep that in mind the next time we find ourselves worrying about being perfect.
2) Failing at something new
This is such a big one.
It’s completely normal to worry about failing, especially when we’re trying something new. I remember when I first started Hack Spirit, the fear of failure was overwhelming. What if no one read what I wrote? What if the website crashed and burned?
But here’s the thing: failure is often a stepping stone to success. It’s a chance to learn, to grow, and to improve.
And in the long run, trying and failing at something new won’t matter nearly as much as never trying at all.
3) Others’ opinions of you
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time” – John Lydgate
Many of us spend a significant amount of time worrying about what others think of us. We worry about their judgements, their opinions, and how they perceive our actions.
Here’s the catch: People are generally too preoccupied with their own lives to give yours much thought.
And even if they do judge you, it doesn’t change your worth or your accomplishments.
In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the art of self-acceptance and how to let go of the need for external validation.
Once we realize that our value comes from within, not from others’ opinions, we free ourselves from unnecessary worry.
4) Future uncertainties
Let’s face it: no one knows what the future holds. Yet, we often find ourselves worrying about all the “what ifs” that come with it. What if I lose my job? What if I get sick? What if my relationship ends?
The reality is that most of these future uncertainties may never come to pass. And even if they do, worrying about them in the present will not change the outcome.
As the Stoic philosopher Seneca wisely observed, “A man who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.”
A more effective approach is to focus on what we can control: our actions and responses. By accepting that uncertainty is a part of life and focusing on our resilience and adaptability, we can reduce our anxiety and navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively.
5) Saying ‘no’ to others
Many of us worry about saying ‘no’ to others. We fear coming across as rude, selfish, or unhelpful.
But here’s a counter-intuitive thought: saying ‘no’ is actually a form of self-care.
By setting boundaries and prioritizing our needs, we ensure that we’re not spreading ourselves too thin. It allows us to focus on what truly matters in our lives and prevents resentment or burnout from creeping in.
In the long run, saying ‘no’ occasionally won’t damage your relationships or reputation. On the contrary, it may even foster respect as you demonstrate self-awareness and honesty.
6) Past mistakes
We’ve all made mistakes – some small, some not so small. It’s easy to get caught up in regret and replay these mistakes over and over in our minds.
However, beating ourselves up over past transgressions won’t change what has happened, and it certainly won’t help us move forward.
In fact, dwelling on past mistakes can keep us stuck, preventing us from learning and growing from these experiences. In the grand scheme of things, what truly matters is not the mistake itself but how we respond to it.
Our mistakes do not define us. They are simply part of our journey and can serve as powerful lessons for the future.
7) Not being ‘enough’
Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Am I good enough?”
There’s this nagging worry that often creeps in – the feeling of not being enough. Not smart enough, not successful enough, not attractive enough, not good enough.
This can be incredibly draining and damaging to our self-esteem, and it’s really futile. Why?
Well, in reality, this idea of ‘enough’ is a moving target. It’s subjective and often based on external factors or comparisons with others. It can lead us down an endless path of striving and dissatisfaction.
The truth is, we are enough just as we are. Our worth is inherent and cannot be measured by external standards or achievements.
As renowned researcher and author Brené Brown said: “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
This affirmation can serve as a reminder the next time we feel the worry of not being ‘enough’.
Final thoughts: It’s all about perspective
When it comes to our worries, it’s essential to remember that many of the things we fret over today simply won’t matter in the long run.
Our energy and time are precious, and focusing them on unnecessary worries can detract from our happiness and peace.
So, the next time you find yourself tangled in a web of worries, take a step back. Ask yourself if these worries will matter in five years, ten years, or at the end of your life. If not, perhaps it’s time to let them go.
