Some things in life just seem to hit you out of the blue, don’t they?
You’re having a conversation, perhaps at a dinner party or a business meeting, and suddenly you catch yourself using a word that just doesn’t quite fit.
It’s not a biggie, but there’s an awkward pause, a raised eyebrow, and you can’t help but feel a little out of your depth.
We’ve all been there.
And it’s not necessarily about being pretentious or high-falutin’. It’s about knowing how to express yourself with clarity and sophistication.
And that’s why I’m here to help you navigate this tricky linguistic landscape.
Stay with me now as we delve into the 7 words you should stop using if you want to sound dignified and cultured.
1) Overusing “like”
We’ve all done it, haven’t we? Slipped that little word “like” into our sentences more times than we care to admit. It’s a filler word, a verbal crutch that we lean on when we’re not quite sure what to say next.
But here’s the kicker: it’s doing us no favors.
Overusing “like” can make us sound unsure, indecisive, and let’s face it, a little immature. It creates a barrier between us and the listener, making it harder for them to take us seriously.
What should we do instead?
Practice pausing. Give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts and find the right words. It might feel awkward at first, but over time, you’ll find that your speech becomes more fluent and confident.
Kick “like” to the curb, and you’ll be one step closer to sounding dignified and cultured.
2) Cutting down on “actually”
Now, this is a word that I’ve found myself guilty of using excessively. “Actually” is one of those words that seems harmless enough, but can quickly become a verbal tic if not kept in check.
Here’s an example: I once found myself in a heated debate about a book we were discussing in my book club.
I was passionate about my viewpoint and found myself using “actually” repeatedly to assert my opinion. “Actually, the author meant this…” or “Actually, you’re missing the point…”.
But when I listened back to the conversation later, I realised how defensive I sounded. It wasn’t dignified or cultured, it was argumentative and condescending.
Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to limit my use of “actually”. Instead of using it as a verbal battering ram, I’ve learned to state my opinions confidently and directly, without the need for constant correction or contradiction.
And the result? Conversations feel more respectful, more balanced. And I feel more like the dignified and cultured person I aspire to be.
3) Eradicating “very”
Mark Twain once famously advised, “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
It’s a clever trick, isn’t it? A humorous way of pointing out our overreliance on this seemingly harmless word. We use “very” as a crutch, a way to add emphasis when we can’t think of a more specific adjective.
The word “very” is so pervasive in our everyday language that we often don’t even notice we’re using it. But once you start paying attention, you’ll be surprised at just how often it creeps into your speech.
Following Twain’s advice, I’ve started trying to eliminate “very” from my vocabulary. It’s harder than you might think! But the payoff is worth it.
Instead of saying “very happy”, I say “elated”. Instead of “very tired”, I say “exhausted”.
Not only does this make me sound more dignified and cultured, but it also forces me to think more carefully about the words I choose and the emotions I want to convey.
4) Saying goodbye to “literally”
You’ve probably heard this one before. “I literally died laughing.” Or, “I’m literally starving.” But here’s the catch: unless you’re a ghost or in dire need of medical attention, these statements are not, well, literal.
Now, I’m not saying you should never use the word “literally”. It does have its place. But in recent years, it’s been co-opted as a way to add emphasis, and in the process has lost its original meaning.
The Oxford English Dictionary added a secondary definition for “literally” that reflects its colloquial use as an intensifier for statements that are not literally true. It’s one of the few words in the English language that means both itself and its exact opposite.
But here’s why we should be mindful: Overusing “literally” can make us sound less articulate, less thoughtful in our word choice.
And in the pursuit of sounding more dignified and cultured, isn’t careful consideration of our words exactly what we’re aiming for?
5) Phasing out “stuff”
Here’s a word that’s almost as pervasive as “like” and “very”. “Stuff”. It’s a catch-all term, a placeholder we use when we can’t think of a more specific word.
The problem is, it’s vague and nondescript. When we use “stuff”, we’re not giving our listeners a clear picture of what we’re talking about. It leaves room for misinterpretation and confusion.
Let’s say you’re telling a friend about your weekend. You could say, “I did some stuff around the house.” But wouldn’t it be more interesting, more engaging, to say, “I repainted the living room and reorganized the garage”?
By being more specific, you’re inviting your listener into your world, giving them a clearer picture of your experiences.
So here’s my challenge to you: Try to go an entire day without using the word “stuff”. Find more specific, descriptive words instead. You might find that it’s harder than you think!
But in the process, you’ll be improving your vocabulary, honing your communication skills, and sounding more dignified and cultured.
6) Ditching “whatever”
Now, here’s another one of those words that can sneak up on us. “Whatever”. Sounds harmless enough, right? But when used in the wrong way, it can convey a sense of indifference or even disrespect.
Think about it. When someone shares an idea or opinion with you, and your response is “whatever”, it can come across as dismissive. It’s as if you’re saying, “I don’t care enough about what you’re saying to give a thoughtful response.”
Instead of defaulting to “whatever”, we can strive to give more thoughtful, considered responses.
Even a simple “I see”, “I understand”, or “That’s an interesting perspective” shows that you’re engaged in the conversation and value the other person’s input.
And that’s what sounding dignified and cultured is all about, isn’t it? It’s not just about using big words or eliminating certain words from our vocabulary.
It’s about showing respect for others through our words and actions. So let’s say goodbye to “whatever” and hello to more thoughtful, respectful communication.
7) Avoiding “um” and “uh”
This might seem obvious, but it’s so important that it bears repeating. Those pesky filler words like “um” and “uh” have a sneaky way of creeping into our speech, especially when we’re nervous or unsure.
But here’s the thing: they can make us sound less confident and less articulate than we really are. They can distract our listeners and dilute our messages.
And that’s definitely not the impression we want to give if we’re striving to sound more dignified and cultured.
I’ve had to work on this myself. I used to be a chronic “um” and “uh” user, especially during presentations or when I was put on the spot.
But once I became aware of it, I started practicing mindful speech. I learned to slow down, to gather my thoughts before speaking, to embrace the silence instead of filling it with unnecessary noise.
It wasn’t easy, and I’m still a work in progress. But I can tell you this: ditching the “ums” and “uhs” has made a significant difference in how I communicate. I sound more confident, more articulate, more… well, dignified and cultured.
The final word
Changing our speech patterns isn’t a quick fix. It takes time and patience. So, as you embark on this linguistic journey, be kind to yourself. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Each time you catch yourself about to say “like” when you don’t need to, or when you swap out “very” for a more precise word, give yourself a mental high-five.
Each small victory brings you one step closer to sounding more dignified and cultured.
Language is a powerful tool. It shapes not just how others perceive us, but also how we perceive ourselves. By choosing our words carefully, we can project confidence and elegance, while also expressing our thoughts more clearly.
So keep practicing. Keep refining. And remember – this is your journey, so enjoy the process.
As Margaret Feinberg said, “Words can be worship or words can be weapons.” Let’s make ours the former.
