You can tell when someone is confident—they stand tall, make eye contact, and speak with certainty.
But low self-esteem? That’s a little trickier to spot, especially when someone is trying to hide it.
The thing is, our body language often reveals more than we realize. Even the smallest gestures can give away feelings of insecurity or self-doubt.
If you know what to look for, you can pick up on these subtle signs and understand people on a deeper level.
Here are eight little-known body language gestures that indicate someone has low self-esteem—even if they don’t want you to know it.
1) They make themselves smaller
When someone feels confident, they take up space—they stand tall, spread out, and move freely.
But when someone has low self-esteem, they often do the opposite. They shrink themselves, hunch their shoulders, cross their arms, or keep their legs close together as if they’re trying to disappear.
It’s an unconscious way of saying, “I don’t want to be noticed.”
This subtle gesture can reveal a lot about how a person feels about themselves, even if they’re doing their best to seem fine on the surface.
2) They avoid eye contact
I used to have a friend who always looked away when we talked. At first, I thought they were just shy, but over time, I realized it was something deeper.
Whenever they were feeling unsure of themselves, their eyes would dart to the floor or off to the side. Even when they laughed, they’d glance away as if making direct eye contact was too much.
It wasn’t that they didn’t want to connect—it was that they didn’t feel worthy of being seen.
Avoiding eye contact is a common sign of low self-esteem. It’s as if the person believes they’re not important enough to hold someone’s gaze, even when they desperately want to.
3) They touch their face frequently
When someone feels insecure, their hands often give them away. They might rub their neck, scratch their cheek, or cover their mouth while speaking.
These small, seemingly harmless gestures are actually self-soothing behaviors—things people do unconsciously to comfort themselves in moments of discomfort.
Touching the face is also linked to stress and anxiety. Studies have shown that people tend to do it more when they’re nervous or feeling unsure of themselves.
It’s a subtle but clear sign that someone may be struggling with confidence, even if they’re trying to appear composed.
4) They fidget with objects
Ever notice how some people constantly play with their rings, tap their pens, or fold the corners of a napkin while talking?
This kind of fidgeting isn’t just a habit—it’s often a sign of discomfort and low self-esteem.
When someone feels uneasy, their hands look for something to do. It’s a way to release nervous energy and create a sense of control in an otherwise uncomfortable situation.
The next time you see someone repeatedly twisting a bracelet or clicking a pen, take a closer look. They might be feeling more insecure than they’re letting on.
5) They hesitate before speaking
I’ve noticed that people with low self-esteem often second-guess themselves before they speak.
They’ll start a sentence, pause, and then either rephrase it or trail off completely. It’s like they’re constantly questioning whether what they have to say is worth hearing.
I’ve even caught myself doing this in moments of self-doubt—softening my words, adding unnecessary disclaimers, or waiting for reassurance before continuing.
This hesitation isn’t always obvious, but if you pay attention, you’ll see it. It’s a sign that someone doesn’t fully trust their own voice.
6) They laugh even when nothing is funny
You’d think that laughter is always a sign of happiness or confidence, but that’s not always the case.
Some people laugh not because they find something funny, but because they feel uncomfortable or unsure of themselves.
It’s a way to fill awkward silences, soften their own words, or make sure they don’t come across as too serious.
I’ve seen people chuckle after apologizing, giggle when expressing an opinion, or laugh off a comment that clearly hurt them.
When laughter seems out of place, it’s often masking insecurity. It’s less about joy and more about trying to ease tension—even when no one else feels it.
Hands say a lot about a person’s confidence. When someone feels self-assured, they use open gestures, let their hands move freely, and keep their palms visible.
But when someone has low self-esteem, they tend to hide their hands—stuffing them in their pockets, keeping them under the table, or folding them tightly in their lap.
This isn’t just a random habit. Hiding the hands is an unconscious way of making oneself less noticeable or avoiding vulnerability.
Open hands signal trust and confidence, while concealed hands suggest hesitation or insecurity.
If you see someone constantly tucking their hands away, they might not be as comfortable as they seem.
8) They rarely take up space
People with low self-esteem often make themselves physically smaller—not just by hunching their shoulders, but by the way they sit, stand, and move through a room.
They might sit at the edge of a chair, keep their arms close to their body, or hesitate before stepping forward in a group.
Confident people expand—they stretch out, take up space, and move with ease.
But when someone doubts themselves, they unconsciously try to occupy as little room as possible, as if they don’t want to be a burden or draw attention.
It’s a silent but powerful sign of how they see themselves.
Why these small signs matter
Hopefully, if you’ve read this far, you’ll have realized that low self-esteem isn’t always obvious.
It doesn’t always look like insecurity—it can hide behind nervous laughter, hesitant speech, or the smallest unconscious gestures.
But just because someone seems fine doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. And noticing these signs isn’t about judging people—it’s about understanding them.
Psychologists have long studied the connection between body language and self-perception, and one thing is clear: the way we carry ourselves often reflects how we feel inside.
When you start paying attention, you’ll see just how much people reveal without saying a word.
