Manipulative people are a part of life—showing up in friendships, family, and especially at work.
While we may not be able to completely avoid them, understanding their tactics can empower us to handle them more effectively.
Manipulators often use insidious phrases designed to undermine our confidence and make us feel small.
Their words subtly erode our self-esteem, allowing them to assert control over us.
But here’s the good news; By learning to identify and counter these manipulative tactics, we can reclaim our power and protect our self-worth.
Here are eight common phrases used by manipulative people that you should watch out for!
1) “You’re too sensitive”
This is a classic phrase used by manipulative people.
By telling you that you’re “too sensitive”, they’re essentially invalidating your feelings, making you question whether your reactions are appropriate or not.
For example, if you express discomfort about something they’ve done, they may retort with, “You’re too sensitive”.
This shifts the blame onto you, making it seem like the problem lies with your emotional reactions, rather than their behavior.
You might start to believe that you’re indeed too emotional, and this self-doubt is exactly what they aim for.
You may start suppressing your feelings to avoid being labeled ‘sensitive’, which in turn gives them more control over the situation and messes with your mental wellbeing.
2) “I’m just being honest”
This phrase might seem harmless at first. After all, honesty is a good thing, right?
But when used by manipulative individuals, it can be a subtle weapon to belittle you and keep you off balance.
Let’s say you’ve shared an idea or expressed an opinion.
They might respond with something like, “I’m just being honest, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
This phrase can make you second guess your own thoughts and ideas, undermining your confidence.
In essence, the manipulator is wrapping their criticism or dismissive opinions in the guise of honesty.
This tactic can make them seem like they’re doing you a favor by giving you a reality check, whereas in reality, they are subtly crushing your self-esteem.
3) “Everyone thinks that…”
Manipulative individuals often use this phrase to amplify the impact of their words.
They’ll make you believe that not just they, but everyone else also thinks less of you or your ideas.
This is known as the bandwagon effect, a powerful psychological phenomenon where people tend to align their beliefs with those of a group.
The manipulator exploits this, making you feel isolated and wrong, consequently deflating your confidence.
For example, they might say something like, “Everyone thinks you’re overreacting.”
This makes you question your own judgment and feel the need to conform to the supposed majority view, even if it’s an invented majority.
Remember, just because they say “everyone” doesn’t mean it’s true.
Don’t let this tactical manipulation erode your self-confidence.
4) “I’m only trying to help”
This phrase can often come from a place of feigned concern.
Manipulative people use it to disguise their undermining comments as well-intentioned advice.
For instance, they might say, “I’m only trying to help you see how you could improve.”
While it might seem like they’re looking out for your best interests, their words can often leave you questioning your abilities and worth.
You’re doing the best you can, and it’s okay to make mistakes. We all do.
It’s part of being human and how we learn and grow.
It’s important to listen to constructive feedback, but also equally important to recognize when ‘help’ is being used as a cover for manipulation.
5) “It was just a joke”
We’ve all been there. A seemingly harmless comment is thrown our way, it stings, but before we can react, it’s quickly followed by “I was just joking!”
This is a common tactic used by manipulative people to undermine your confidence while avoiding any blame.
The intention behind the ‘joke’ might be to belittle you or make you feel insecure.
When you react, they switch to implying that you lack a sense of humor, further adding to the self-doubt.
However, humor should never come at the expense of someone’s self-esteem.
If a ‘joke’ hurts, it’s not funny, and your feelings are valid.
You have every right to express your discomfort without being labeled as someone who can’t take a joke.
6) “You’ll never be able to…”
This is a phrase I’ve personally encountered, and it’s a classic example of how manipulative people try to undermine your self-confidence.
They’ll make sweeping negative statements about your abilities, making you question your potential.
In my case, someone once told me, “You’ll never be able to lead a successful project.”
That comment lingered in my mind, making me doubt my skills and capabilities.
But it’s important to remember that these comments are often baseless and reflect more on the person saying them than on you.
Don’t let someone else’s negative opinion define your abilities or limit your potential.
Your worth is not determined by their words.
7) “If you really loved me…”
Let’s get straight to the point here.
This phrase is a hallmark of emotional manipulation. It’s designed to make you question your love or commitment and to guilt you into doing what they want.
For instance, “If you really loved me, you would do this for me.”
It’s a low blow, playing on your emotions and making you feel obligated to prove your love.
But here’s the truth: love is not about constantly having to prove yourself or meeting unreasonable demands.
Genuine affection doesn’t come with strings attached or conditions to be fulfilled.
Stand firm against such manipulative tactics and remember, it’s perfectly okay to say no when something doesn’t feel right.
8) “Nobody else will ever…”
This phrase is like a manipulator’s trump card, often used to make you feel insecure and dependent.
When a manipulative person says something like, “Nobody else will ever love you as much as I do,” they are not just making a statement—they’re strategically planting seeds of fear and self-doubt.
This kind of remark is meant to isolate you, making you feel as though you are unworthy of love or unable to find a better relationship.
The goal is to convince you that you’re incredibly fortunate to have them in your life, even if their behavior is far from loving or supportive.
They want you to believe that their treatment of you is a privilege you shouldn’t question, making it harder for you to stand up for yourself or to leave the relationship.
Final thoughts
These eight phrases are designed to instill doubt, fear, and insecurity, keeping you in a position of vulnerability.
But remember, the power to change the narrative lies within you.
By recognizing these tactics, you can better protect yourself from emotional manipulation and maintain your sense of self.
Set firm boundaries with these individuals, challenge their demeaning comments, and to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.
People’s words can only affect you as much as you allow them to.
It might be tough, but standing firm in your self-belief and maintaining your confidence can help you navigate these situations more effectively.
