It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.
Sometimes, people wear a mask of kindness to hide their true colors. They come across as sweet and friendly on the surface, but dig a little deeper and you might find something less pleasant.
Recognizing such individuals can be tricky, but it’s not impossible. There are subtle signs that can help you identify a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
In this article, we’re going to explore 8 signs that someone is actually not a good person, even if they seem nice on the surface.
Because remember, a genuine heart is worth more than a thousand fake smiles.
1) They play the victim card
We all go through tough times, and it’s okay to seek support from others. But there’s a difference between seeking support and continuously playing the victim.
Some individuals have a knack for twisting every situation in their favor. They’re quick to point fingers, and slower to take responsibility. They paint themselves as the perpetual victim, conveniently forgetting their own role in the situation.
This tactic is often used to gain sympathy or evade blame. It’s a classic move by those who seem nice on the surface but have a darker side underneath.
If you notice someone constantly playing the victim, be cautious. It could be a sign that they’re not as good a person as they want you to believe.
2) They are consistently dismissive of your feelings
I’ll never forget an old friend of mine. We had many mutual interests, shared a lot of laughs, and on the surface, she was a pretty nice person. But there was something that always felt off.
Whenever I’d share my feelings or concerns, she had an uncanny knack for dismissing them. It was as if my emotions were insignificant or even inconvenient to her. I remember once sharing about a tough day at work, to which she responded, “Oh, that’s nothing. You should hear about my day.”
It took me a while to realize that this wasn’t just her being quirky or having an off day. It was a consistent pattern, a sign that beneath her friendly exterior, she wasn’t genuinely considerate or empathetic.
If someone constantly dismisses your feelings or experiences, it could be a sign that they are not the good person they appear to be on the surface.
3) They are manipulative
Manipulation can be subtle, and it often goes unnoticed until it’s too late. From using guilt trips to twisting words, a manipulative person knows how to pull the strings to get what they want.
Manipulative individuals often possess high levels of Machiavellianism – a trait characterized by a focus on personal gain and power, and a willingness to manipulate others to achieve these ends.
This is a clear sign that they may not be as good a person as they appear.
4) They’re always right
We all know someone who can never be wrong, right? They’re the folks who always have to have the last word and can’t stand being corrected.
These people are not only frustrating to deal with, but their constant need to be right often stems from a deeper issue. It’s usually a sign of narcissism, a trait that’s far from being associated with a good person.
Someone who is truly good at heart knows how to admit their mistakes and learn from them. They understand that being wrong sometimes is a part of life and growth.
But if someone you know can’t ever accept being wrong, it might be time to take a closer look at their true character.
5) They lack empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s the glue that holds relationships together. It’s what makes us human.
But some people, no matter how nice they seem on the surface, seem to lack this essential trait. They struggle to put themselves in someone else’s shoes or show genuine concern for others’ feelings.
When you’re hurting, they don’t console you. When you’re happy, they don’t share your joy. It’s as if they’re missing a key piece of their emotional puzzle.
If you come across someone who lacks empathy, take note. This could be a sign that they’re not the good person they appear to be. Because at the end of the day, a person who lacks empathy lacks humanity.
6) They gossip and speak ill of others
Years ago, I was part of a social group where gossip was the norm. It was like a virus that infected every conversation. At first, I thought it was harmless chatter, but over time, I began to see the damage it caused.
The problem with gossip is that it spreads negativity and erodes trust. The person who is always eager to share the latest scandal or speak ill of others shows a lack of respect for people’s feelings and privacy.
I’ve learned that good people uplift others, they don’t tear them down behind their backs.
7) They’re only nice when they need something
It’s a classic scenario. Someone who has been distant suddenly becomes your best friend when they need a favor. Their niceties feel forced, their interest in you is fleeting, and once they get what they want, they return to their aloof self.
This kind of behavior is not only frustrating but also deceptive. It shows a lack of genuine care for others and a willingness to use people for personal gain.
Good people are consistently nice, not selectively nice. They don’t treat relationships like transactions. If someone only shows up when they need something from you, it’s a sign that they may not be the good person they project themselves to be.
8) They show a lack of respect for boundaries
Respect for boundaries is fundamental in any relationship. Whether it’s respecting your time, your space, or your decisions, a good person understands and honors these boundaries.
However, if someone consistently oversteps or disregards your boundaries, it’s a glaring red flag. It shows a lack of respect for you as an individual and for your personal autonomy.
No matter how nice someone appears to be, if they can’t respect your boundaries, they’re not respecting you. And anyone who doesn’t respect you is not a good person, no matter how they seem on the surface.
