We’ve all come across individuals who, despite their charming facade, leave us with a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right.
It’s not always easy to pinpoint, but sometimes, people just give off vibes that suggest they might not be as good-hearted as they appear.
Psychology has identified several tell-tale signs that someone might not be the angel they present themselves to be.
Let’s dive in and explore these eight signs that someone probably isn’t a good person.
1. They Constantly Shift the Blame
One major red flag is when someone consistently refuses to accept responsibility for their actions. They’re quick to shift the blame onto others, no matter the situation.
According to psychologt, this behavior reveals a lack of empathy and an inability to acknowledge their own faults. Instead of admitting they were wrong and working to correct it, they’d rather point fingers and deflect the blame.
People who consistently avoid taking responsibility for their actions often exhibit a defense mechanism known as ‘projection.’ This allows them to avoid confronting their own mistakes and shifts the emotional burden onto others. It’s a form of emotional deflection that prevents personal growth
Practical Tip: If you notice someone always blaming others and never taking responsibility, it might be time to have a candid conversation with them about accountability. If the behavior continues, consider whether this person has a positive or negative impact on your life and act accordingly.
2. They’re Manipulative
Manipulation is another sign that someone might not be a good person. Such individuals use others to meet their own needs without considering the impact of their actions.
They might use guilt, flattery, or emotional blackmail to get what they want. It’s all about power and control for them.
Manipulation is actually a hallmark trait of individuals with narcissistic tendencies.
Speaking from personal experience, I once had a friend who would always guilt-trip me into doing things for them. It took me a while to realize that I was being manipulated, and it was a tough lesson to learn.
Practical Tip: If you find yourself feeling pressured or guilted into doing something you’re uncomfortable with, take a step back and evaluate the situation. It’s important to establish and maintain your boundaries.
Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ when needed, and remember, it’s okay to distance yourself from people who consistently disregard your feelings and needs.
3. They’re Constantly Negative
We all have our down days. But if someone is constantly spewing negativity, complaining about everything, and never seeing the bright side, it can be a sign that they aren’t a very good person.
This kind of negativity can be draining and, quite frankly, toxic. People who are perpetually negative tend to create a stressful environment around them, pushing away any form of positivity.
I’ll be brutally honest here – life is too short to be surrounded by constant negativity. It’s exhausting and emotionally draining.
Practical Tip: If you’re around someone who’s always negative, try addressing the issue with them directly first. If that doesn’t work, you might want to consider limiting your time with them or cutting ties altogether.
Surround yourself with positivity and people who uplift you – it can make a world of difference to your own outlook on life.
4. They’re Overly Charming
This might seem counterintuitive, but being overly charming can actually be a warning sign. Some people use charm as a way to manipulate others and get what they want. It’s not about genuine connection or kindness; it’s a tool they use to deceive and control.
According to psychologists, this is a common trait among narcissists and sociopaths. As Dr. George Simon writes, “skilled manipulators can be quite seductive and charming.”
Practical Tip: Be cautious of those who seem too good to be true, especially if they’re laying on the charm thick and fast.
Pay attention to whether their actions match their words in the long run. Genuine people don’t need to constantly charm others; they let their actions speak for themselves.
5. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
Respect for personal boundaries is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship.
If someone continually crosses your boundaries, even after you’ve clearly communicated them, it’s a clear sign they lack respect for you.
It could be anything from continually borrowing money and not returning it, to consistently dismissing your feelings.
I’ve personally experienced this with an old acquaintance who would constantly belittle my career choices.
Even after expressing my discomfort, the behavior continued. It was a clear sign of disrespect and disregard for my feelings.
Practical Tip: If someone is consistently crossing your boundaries, it’s essential to address the issue directly. If they continue to disrespect your boundaries, you might need to reconsider the role they play in your life. Remember, you deserve respect and understanding from those around you.
6. They Frequently Lie
If someone is constantly lying, even about small, inconsequential things, it’s a huge red flag.
Honesty is the foundation of trust in any relationship, and frequent lying shatters that trust. A person who lies regularly shows a complete disregard for truth and integrity.
Here’s the brutal truth: if they lie about small things, they can just as easily lie about big things. Frequent liars can create a web of deceit that’s hard to untangle and can cause emotional turmoil for those caught in it.
Practical Tip: If you catch someone in a lie, it’s crucial to address it directly. If the lying continues, consider distancing yourself from them. You deserve honesty and transparency from the people in your life.
7. They Lack Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what connects us as human beings.
A person who lacks empathy, on the other hand, struggles to show understanding or compassion for others. They’re often self-centered and indifferent to the feelings and needs of those around them.
As the famous saying by Plato goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
A person who lacks empathy will struggle to abide by this principle as they can’t fully grasp the weight of other people’s struggles.
Practical Tip: If you’re dealing with someone who lacks empathy, try communicating how their actions make you feel. If they still don’t show understanding or remorse, it might be best to limit your interactions with them.
8. They’re Always Competitive
A little competition can be a good thing, spurring us on to do our best. But when someone is always trying to outdo others, it can be a sign that they aren’t a good person.
They see everything as a competition, wanting to be the best at everything, often at the expense of others.
I once knew someone who could turn even the simplest of tasks into a competition. It wasn’t about achieving together or helping each other grow; it was all about them coming out on top. This constant need to compete can quickly turn toxic.
Practical Tip: If you’re dealing with an overly competitive person, it might help to have an open conversation about how their behavior affects you.
If nothing changes, consider distancing yourself from them. Life is not a race, and it’s always better when we lift each other up instead of pushing each other down.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws and make mistakes. However, consistent patterns of these behaviors can be a clear indication that someone might not be a good person. Listen to your gut feelings and pay attention to these signs. But also remember to communicate and address issues directly – sometimes people aren’t aware of the impact of their actions.
It’s okay to protect your emotional health and distance yourself from toxic individuals who consistently display these traits.
As the saying goes, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”
Always believe you deserve respect, honesty, empathy, and genuine kindness from the people in your life. Surround yourself with those who uplift you, respect you, and make you feel good about yourself. After all, the company you keep can greatly influence your own personal growth and happiness.
