We often spend our time and energy on things that, in the grand scheme of things, simply don’t matter. It’s part of being human.
As Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness and Buddhism expert, I’ve spent a lot of time learning about what really matters in life.
Psychology teaches us that many things we obsess over are actually inconsequential in the long run. It’s a liberating realization, isn’t it?
Let me share with you 8 things that don’t actually matter as much as you might think.
1) The pursuit of perfection
We’ve all been there: chasing that elusive idea of perfection. Whether it’s in our work, our relationships, or even our personal goals, we can often find ourselves striving to reach a level of perfection that is simply unattainable.
According to psychology, this pursuit of perfection doesn’t actually matter in the long run. In fact, it can even hinder our progress and happiness.
Perfection is a subjective construct, after all. What may seem perfect to one person can be vastly different from another’s perspective. And more often than not, the idea of “perfection” we chase is based on external validation rather than our own personal satisfaction.
Mindfulness teaches us to accept imperfection. It’s in the imperfections that we find growth, learning, and authentic experience.
2) Dwelling on past mistakes
We all make mistakes. I’ve made my fair share, and I’m sure you have too. It’s a natural part of being human. However, spending too much time dwelling on these past mistakes? That doesn’t serve us well in the long run.
Psychology tells us that ruminating on past errors can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. It can keep us stuck in a cycle of regret and self-blame, preventing us from moving forward.
Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh said it best: “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
Mindfulness encourages us to acknowledge our mistakes, learn from them, and then let them go. This practice of acceptance and forgiveness, towards ourselves and others, can lead to greater peace and happiness in life.
3) Seeking constant approval
We live in a world where likes, comments, and shares have become yardsticks of worthiness. It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking constant approval from others. But here’s a raw, honest truth: it doesn’t matter in the long run.
Buddhist wisdom teaches us about the concept of ‘anatta’ or ‘non-self’. It breaks down the illusion that we are separate, independent entities and reminds us that we are part of a bigger universe.
When we seek constant approval, we’re essentially attaching our happiness and self-worth to something external and often fickle. This attachment, according to Buddhism, is a source of suffering.
Instead, we should strive for self-acceptance and inner peace. When we approve of ourselves, external validation becomes less significant.
4) Obsessing over material possessions
Let’s be honest: we’re living in a consumer-driven society. We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us that the next gadget, fashion item, or shiny new car will make us happier. But here’s the raw truth: obsessing over material possessions doesn’t matter in the long run.
Mindfulness teaches us to focus on the present moment and appreciate what we already have. It encourages us to find happiness not in things, but in experiences and relationships.
Material possessions are temporary. They can be lost, stolen, or become obsolete. Attachment to these transient things can lead to stress and dissatisfaction.
On the other hand, experiences enrich our lives. Relationships bring us joy and companionship. These are the things that truly matter.
5) Living with a big ego
I’ll be the first to admit, it’s easy to let our egos get the best of us. We all want to feel important, valued, and respected. But here’s what I’ve learned from my years studying mindfulness and Buddhism: living with a big ego? It doesn’t actually matter in the long run.
Our ego often tricks us into believing that we’re separate from others. It fuels a sense of competition and comparison. But in reality, we’re all interconnected. We’re all part of this shared human experience.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into this concept. Living with a minimum ego doesn’t mean diminishing your worth or impact. Instead, it’s about recognizing our shared humanity and embracing compassion and humility.
Ultimately, what matters more than the size of our ego is the size of our heart. Let’s focus on cultivating kindness, empathy, and understanding. That’s what truly counts in the long run.
6) Holding onto grudges
Let’s face it: holding onto grudges can feel satisfying in the moment. It gives us a sense of righteousness, of being wronged. But here’s the raw, honest truth: holding onto grudges doesn’t matter in the long run.
Both Buddhism and mindfulness wisdom teach us about the power of forgiveness. Holding onto anger and resentment only harms us, trapping us in a cycle of negative emotions.
Buddha said, “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Forgiveness, on the other hand, sets us free. It doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the harm done to us. Rather, it’s about releasing the burden of resentment and making peace with the past.
7) Living in the future
We all do it: daydream about the future, make plans, set goals. While these can be helpful, obsessively living in the future? Here’s the raw truth: it doesn’t matter in the long run.
Famous mindfulness expert, Jon Kabat-Zinn said, “We have only now, only this single eternal moment opening and unfolding before us, day and night.”
Constantly living in the future can rob us of the joy of the present moment. It can lead to anxiety about the unknown and create unrealistic expectations.
Mindfulness teaches us to live in the present, to fully engage with our current experiences. It’s about finding joy in the here and now, not in some imagined future.
8) Avoiding discomfort
It’s a natural human tendency to avoid discomfort. Whether it’s physical pain, emotional distress, or just stepping outside our comfort zone, we often go to great lengths to avoid feeling uncomfortable. But here’s something counterintuitive: avoiding discomfort doesn’t matter in the long run.
Mindfulness isn’t just about finding peace in comfort; it’s also about learning to sit with our discomfort. It’s about observing our feelings without judgment and understanding that these feelings are temporary.
Avoiding discomfort only restricts our growth and resilience. On the other hand, facing our discomfort can lead to personal growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Conclusion
And there you have it – eight things in life that don’t actually matter in the long run. It’s liberating, isn’t it? To realize that many of the things we stress over are inconsequential in the grand scheme of life.
If you’re interested in delving deeper into the wisdom of Buddhism, I invite you to check out my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. It’s a guide to help you navigate life with more peace, joy and purpose.
Life is not about perfection or constant approval. It’s about embracing our humanity with all its imperfections and finding peace within ourselves. Now that’s something that truly matters in the long run.
