Ever get that weird feeling that no matter what you do, people don’t quite take you seriously?
Maybe you’ve noticed friends, colleagues, or even complete strangers pushing your limits.
It’s frustrating—especially when you consider yourself a nice, helpful person. But let’s be honest: there’s a difference between being kind and being someone’s doormat.
Today, I want to dig into those subtle habits that signal to others—sometimes unconsciously—that they can walk all over you. We’re talking about that tiny voice in your head that whispers, “Don’t cause a fuss,” or “Better say ‘sorry,’ just in case,” or “It’s easier to just say ‘yes’.”
These behaviors might come from a desire to be liked or keep the peace, but in the long run, they often lead to resentment and feeling disrespected.
I studied psychology in college, and in my experience, we often don’t realize just how much our behavior shapes the way people treat us.
If you see yourself in any of the following points, don’t stress—awareness is half the battle. You can absolutely learn to assert yourself in a healthy way and earn genuine respect from those around you.
Let’s jump right in.
1. You say “yes” to everything
If your first instinct is always to say “yes,” even when you’re overloaded or uncomfortable, you might be signaling that you’re easy to take advantage of.
I get it—you want to be helpful, and maybe you hate the idea of letting people down. But every time you commit to something you don’t actually want to do, you’re essentially ignoring your own needs.
When you’re the person who never declines, people will assume you can handle all sorts of demands—without pushing back. Instead of automatically agreeing, take a breath. Ask yourself if you truly want to do it or if you even have the time.
Learning to say “no” is tough at first, but it’s a critical step in showing others that your time and energy are valuable.
2. You apologize all the time
Ever found yourself saying “I’m sorry” when it’s not even your fault?
I used to be that person, blurting out apologies for everything—from someone bumping into me on the sidewalk to a coworker’s mistake in a group project.
Apologizing too frequently can trivialize your own sense of self-worth. It’s a clear sign you might be placing everyone else’s feelings above your own, even when you bear zero responsibility.
When you apologize excessively, you also teach people that you’ll take blame for stuff that isn’t on you. They may not consciously note it, but it lingers in the background, telling them you’re willing to shoulder more than your fair share of guilt.
Try swapping out “sorry” for expressions like “thank you for understanding” or “I appreciate your patience.” This shift lets you stay polite without handing out your power.
3. You run from conflict
If you avoid confrontation at all costs—ducking out the moment discussions get tense or letting others dominate conversations—chances are people think they can steamroll you.
Conflict doesn’t have to be a shouting match. It can be a calm, rational conversation where both parties express their views. But if you consistently back down, you send a message that you won’t stand your ground when challenged.
I’ve written about this before but can’t stress it enough: conflict is not a dirty word. Constructive disagreements are actually healthy and can lead to better understanding in relationships.
If you find conflict terrifying, practice by speaking up about small things first. Over time, you’ll build the confidence to address bigger issues without feeling like you’re causing a crisis.
4. You keep your boundaries fuzzy (or non-existent)
Without clear boundaries, you’re basically handing people a map of exactly how to push your buttons. If you don’t show where your lines are, how can you expect others to respect them?
The folks at Verywell Mind stand behind this, noting that setting clear boundaries in relationships helps preserve mental well-being. They emphasize that boundaries are essential in every type of relationship—romantic, professional, or friendly.
That might mean telling a friend you can’t chat during work hours, or letting your boss know you’re only available for emails until 7 p.m. Once people know your limits, they’ll be less inclined to overstep.
5. You always seek validation from others
There’s a difference between enjoying a compliment and needing approval to function.
If you find yourself constantly fishing for reassurance—asking, “Is this okay? Am I doing this right? Do you still like me?”—then you risk people seeing you as dependent on their opinions.
And when someone senses that, they know they can shape your decisions or actions with just a bit of praise or disapproval.
Brené Brown once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” If you’re forever craving external validation, it becomes that much harder to set—and keep—those boundaries.
Take small steps to trust your instincts. Make a choice without seeking input, and then own it. Over time, that self-confidence will teach others that you’re not easily swayed by their opinions.
6. You downplay your achievements
Let’s say you accomplished something significant—a new job, a personal best in a marathon, or finishing a big project ahead of schedule. But instead of celebrating it, you brush it off with, “It’s not a big deal,” or “I just got lucky.”
That kind of modesty can be endearing once in a while, but if it’s constant, it tells people you don’t see your own value.
When you regularly dismiss your successes, you invite people to see you as someone who doesn’t fully acknowledge their worth. It’s like wearing a sign that reads, “Feel free to ignore how valuable I am.”
Embrace your accomplishments. There’s no need to brag, but a simple “Thanks, I put a lot of effort into it” can go a long way in projecting self-respect.
7. You let people monopolize your time
Time is one of our most precious resources, yet many of us give it away too freely.
If you’re the one who’s always available for last-minute favors, late-night phone calls, or weekend errands (that you didn’t offer to do), others may interpret that as you having nothing better going on. They might not realize—or care—that you have your own life, priorities, and plans.
I’ve been guilty of this in the past, too. I’d drop everything whenever anyone needed me, only to end up overwhelmed and drained.
To break the cycle, be upfront about your schedule. Let people know when you’re free or how long you can help. This clarity is not selfish—it’s respectful of both your needs and theirs.
The Dalai Lama famously said, “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.” One key measure of success is realizing that your time is worth protecting.
8. You overthink and second-guess yourself
To wrap things up, let’s talk about the trap of overthinking.
If you spend hours (or days) worrying about the “right” way to approach a situation, you risk coming across as hesitant. People might notice that you take an eternity to make decisions, so they step in, make the call for you, and expect you to go along with it.
Overthinking often stems from fear—fear of failure, fear of judgment, or fear of missing out on something better. But the result is you look uncertain and easily swayed.
One approach that’s helped me is mindfulness: stepping back, breathing, and focusing on the present moment. That moment of clarity can break the overthinking cycle, letting you trust your gut instead of being paralyzed by indecision.
Final words
So there you have it: eight habits that might be sending out the message “walk all over me” without you even realizing it.
The good news? None of these habits are carved in stone. With practice, you can replace excessive apologies with gratitude statements, firm up your boundaries, and get more comfortable with conflict.
It’s all about becoming aware of what you’re doing, identifying the deeper reasons behind them (like the need for acceptance or fear of rejection), and then making small but consistent adjustments.
I’ve been exploring these topics for years, both in my personal life and in the content I share. If you’re interested in weaving more mindfulness and introspection into your daily routine, consider checking out my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.
It’s not about turning into a rigid, confrontational person; it’s about learning to stand firmly in your truth while maintaining kindness and empathy.
Small steps really can lead to massive changes. And remember: self-respect and respect from others go hand in hand.
When you choose to honor your own boundaries, time, and achievements, people pick up on that energy and start treating you the way you deserve. You don’t have to change who you are to be respected—you just have to recognize your own worth and show it.
