There’s something truly irksome about people who don’t walk their talk. You know the ones – they’re quick to give advice, but when it comes to following it themselves, they’re suddenly MIA.
Psychology unravels some intriguing traits behind these individuals. It’s not just hypocrisy; there’s a whole lot more happening beneath the surface.
In this piece, we’ll dive into the eight traits of those who seldom practice what they preach. So buckle up, it’s going to be an enlightening ride!
1) They thrive on double standards
Let’s start with the most obvious one: double standards. We’ve all come across these individuals.
They’re the ones who insist you should always be punctual, yet are consistently late to meetings themselves.
Psychology offers an interesting perspective here.
It suggests that such people often suffer from a cognitive bias known as ‘self-serving bias’. They judge others harshly for their failures but are quick to excuse their own.
This trait of not practicing what they preach can be frustrating to deal with.
But understanding the psychological underpinnings can offer us a more empathetic lens to view them through.
Keep in mind, though, that empathy doesn’t mean endorsement. It’s crucial to call out these double standards when we see them, challenging them to live up to their own advice.
2) Their words exceed their actions
I remember having a colleague at an old job who was always enthusiastic about teamwork.
She’d constantly stress the importance of collaboration, yet when it came down to it, she rarely contributed to team projects.
This is another typical trait of those who don’t practice what they preach. They’re big on rhetoric but often fall short when it comes to action.
Psychologically, this can be attributed to a phenomenon known as ‘moral licensing’.
The idea is that people who talk a lot about certain values feel they’ve earned the right to slack off in those areas.
My colleague, for example, felt her constant talk about teamwork exempted her from actively participating in it. It’s a frustrating paradox and one that’s not always easy to navigate.
Being aware of this trait can help us handle such situations more effectively.
3) They’re masters of justification
Did you know that the human brain is hardwired to seek consistency in our beliefs and actions?
This is known as cognitive dissonance theory, and it plays a significant role in shaping our behaviors.
Those who don’t walk their talk often exhibit a high degree of cognitive dissonance.
They’re quick to justify their discrepancies, coming up with all sorts of reasons why their actions don’t align with their words.
The justifications can range from the absurd to the seemingly logical.
But at the heart of it all is a desperate attempt to maintain a consistent self-image, even when their actions blatantly contradict their words.
Understanding this trait can help us navigate conversations with such individuals more effectively, challenging their justifications without attacking their self-image.
4) They lack self-awareness
A key trait of those who don’t practice what they preach is a lack of self-awareness.
These individuals often fail to see the contradiction between their words and actions.
They might advise others on the importance of honesty while not being truthful themselves.
Psychology explains this as ‘blind spots’ in our self-perception. We all have them to some extent. However, those who preach but don’t practice often have more pronounced blind spots.
This lack of self-awareness can make it challenging to confront these individuals about their behavior, as they may genuinely fail to see the discrepancy.
Yet, shedding light on these blind spots can be a crucial step to encourage change.
5) They struggle with accountability
Accountability is more than just a buzzword; it’s a fundamental trait that reflects our commitment to our words and actions.
Unfortunately, those who don’t practice what they preach often struggle with this aspect.
Imagine a friend who’s always preaching about self-care and mental health, yet doesn’t take steps to take care of their own emotional well-being.
It’s not that they don’t care or value these concepts; it’s more likely that they struggle to hold themselves accountable to the same standards they set for others.
This lack of accountability can be heart-wrenching to watch, especially when you care about the person.
It can be tempting to call out their hypocrisy, but often, what they need is understanding and support to help them bridge the gap between their words and actions.
6) They have a fear of failure
A few years back, I had a mentor who was always encouraging me to take risks and step out of my comfort zone.
But when it came to his own life, he was always playing it safe, sticking to what he knew.
This is another common trait: the fear of failure. Those who preach but don’t practice often do so because they’re afraid of the repercussions if they fail.
They advocate for others to take risks because they genuinely believe in the benefits.
But when it comes to their own lives, their fear holds them back from practicing what they preach.
It’s an all-too-human trait, one that requires patience and understanding to navigate.
After all, we all have fears that hold us back in some way or another.
7) They seek validation
Another common trait of those who don’t practice what they preach is a strong desire for validation.
They often use their advice as a way to gain approval and affirmation from others, even if they don’t follow it themselves.
For instance, someone may constantly talk about the importance of self-improvement and personal growth, even though they don’t actively pursue these goals.
The reason? They’re seeking validation for their views, not necessarily indicating a commitment to those principles.
This need for validation often stems from deep-seated insecurities or a lack of self-esteem.
Understanding this can help us approach such individuals with empathy, offering support instead of judgment.
8) They lack commitment
At the heart of it all, those who don’t practice what they preach often lack commitment.
They may understand the value of certain principles and can eloquently express them, but when it comes to committing to these principles in their own lives, they fall short.
It’s not a willful act of deceit or hypocrisy.
Rather, it’s a gap between understanding and implementation. The knowledge is there, but the commitment to put that knowledge into practice is missing.
It’s easy to preach about values and principles.
Truly living them requires a deep level of commitment, one that not everyone is ready or able to make.
In conclusion: It’s a journey of self-growth
Peeling back the layers of human behavior always reveals a fascinating maze of motivations, perceptions, and biases.
At the heart of the traits of those who don’t practice what they preach lies a complex interplay of psychology, cognition, and emotion.
It’s not simply about hypocrisy or deceit; it’s a struggle with self-awareness, consistency, and commitment.
Remember, the journey from preaching to practicing is a process – a challenging one that demands patience, introspection, and most importantly, self-growth.
People who exhibit these traits are not inherently bad or insincere.
They’re simply on their own path of personal development, just like each one of us. In understanding this, we can approach them (and ourselves) with more empathy and patience.
As the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
This acceptance is the first step towards bridging the gap between what we preach and what we practice.
