Love is all about compromise, but there are certain behaviors that should never be tolerated in a relationship.
Psychology tells us that these behaviors can be damaging, even toxic, to the health of a relationship.
And while love might make us turn a blind eye, it’s important to recognize these signs early on and take the necessary steps.
In this article, you’ll find 9 behaviors that you should never allow from your partner, according to psychology.
Let’s get started.
Nobody’s perfect, and we all have our moments. But there’s a fine line between a bad day and a consistent pattern of disrespect.
According to psychology, disrespectful remarks can be incredibly damaging to a relationship. They can chip away at your self-esteem and create a hostile environment.
These remarks can be blatant, like insults or belittling comments. Or they can be more subtle, like sarcastic jabs or passive-aggressive statements.
Regardless of the form it takes, disrespect undermines the foundation of trust and mutual respect that every healthy relationship needs.
If you find that your partner consistently makes disrespectful remarks, it’s time to address the issue. Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect at all times.
2) Constant criticism
We all need constructive feedback from time to time, but there’s a big difference between helpful advice and constant criticism.
Psychology tells us that being continuously criticised can have detrimental effects on our self-esteem and overall mental health.
I learned this lesson from my own personal experience with an ex-partner. He had a way of pointing out my flaws under the guise of “just being honest”. Whether it was my cooking, my appearance or my career choices, nothing seemed to escape his critical eye.
Over time, this constant stream of negativity began to erode my confidence. I found myself second-guessing my decisions and feeling inadequate in nearly all aspects of my life.
That’s when I realized that criticism should not be the norm in a relationship. If your partner is always finding fault with what you do, it might be time to have a conversation about it. After all, everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they feel valued and accepted for who they are.
3) Emotional manipulation
Emotional manipulation can be subtle and hard to identify. It’s a devious tactic where one person uses tactics like guilt-tripping, gaslighting or playing the victim to control and influence the other’s emotions.
While it might not seem as physically harmful as other behaviours, it can be just as damaging, if not more so. In fact, according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, people who were subjected to emotional manipulation reported lower levels of satisfaction with their relationships and life in general.
If you find your partner making you feel guilty for their own mistakes, regularly questioning your memory of events, or playing the victim when they’re in the wrong, these are red flags that shouldn’t be ignored. It’s important to confront this behaviour early on and establish boundaries to protect your emotional wellbeing.
4) Lack of support
Support is one of the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. We all have our ups and downs, and during those challenging times, it’s crucial to have a partner who stands by you and offers their unwavering support.
If you notice that your partner is often indifferent to your problems, dismisses your accomplishments or consistently puts their needs before yours, it might be an indication that they are not providing the emotional support you need.
A supportive partner will celebrate your victories, empathize with your struggles, and be there for you through thick and thin. If you’re not getting that level of support, it might be time to address this issue with your partner.
5) Violation of personal boundaries
Personal boundaries are the limits we set with other people regarding the type of behavior we find acceptable or unacceptable. They’re an essential part of maintaining our self-esteem, personal identity, and mental health.
Unfortunately, some partners might ignore or violate these boundaries, either consciously or unconsciously. This could manifest in various ways – from insisting on spending every moment together to dismissing your feelings or opinions.
If your partner consistently oversteps your boundaries, it’s a sign of disrespect and a lack of understanding. It’s crucial to communicate these boundaries clearly and ensure that they’re respected for a healthy relationship.
6) Frequent lying
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship. When that trust is broken, it can be incredibly hard to rebuild.
One behavior that can shatter trust like nothing else is frequent lying. Whether it’s about big things or small things, being lied to by your partner can leave you feeling confused, betrayed, and insecure.
It’s heartbreaking to discover that the person you love and trust has been keeping the truth from you. It makes you question not just their honesty, but the entire foundation of your relationship.
If you find that your partner frequently lies to you, it’s important to address the issue head-on. Honesty is not optional in a solid relationship; it’s a requirement.
7) Controlling behavior
When love turns into control, it’s a sure sign that things are going in the wrong direction. A relationship should be a partnership, not a power play.
I’ve been in a relationship where my partner would dictate what I should wear, who I should hang out with, and even what career choices I should make. At first, it seemed like they were just concerned about me. But soon it became clear that they were trying to control my life.
This type of behavior is not only suffocating but also damaging to your self-esteem and autonomy. If you notice signs of controlling behavior in your partner, it’s important to assert your independence and seek professional help if necessary.
8) Lack of communication
Communication is key to any successful relationship. It’s how we express our needs, feelings, and concerns to our partner.
If your partner frequently shuts down communication or avoids serious discussions, it can leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood. Moreover, it can lead to unresolved issues and growing resentment.
A healthy relationship involves open and honest communication. If you’re struggling to communicate effectively with your partner, it might be time to seek advice or consider couples therapy. Good communication can resolve many problems before they escalate and improve the overall health of your relationship.
9) Physical or emotional abuse
This is non-negotiable. No matter how much you love someone, physical or emotional abuse should never be tolerated. It’s not just harmful, it’s dangerous.
Abuse can take many forms – hitting, pushing, yelling, belittling, or constantly criticizing. It can leave deep emotional scars and even risk your life.
If you’re experiencing any form of abuse in your relationship, seek help immediately. There are many resources and support systems available to help you take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.
You are worthy of respect and kindness. You deserve a relationship that brings you joy, not fear.
