Judgmental and self-righteous people often reveal their true nature through the words they choose.
Phrases like “If I were you…” or “I’m just being honest…” show their tendency to criticize and elevate themselves.
These statements can make interactions with them feel frustrating and condescending.
Let’s lift the lid on these phrases and uncover what they really mean, according to psychology.
So, stick around if you’re curious about the language of judgment and self-righteousness.
1) “You should…”
Psychology tells us that one of the most beloved phrases of judgmental and self-righteous individuals is “you should”.
This phrase often comes loaded with unsolicited advice and the unspoken but clear implication that the speaker knows better.
It’s a way to impose their views or standards on others, often without considering the other person’s feelings or circumstances.
The use of “you should” can undermine others’ confidence, making them feel like they’re not doing enough or that their choices are incorrect.
This phrase is commonly used by those who assume a position of superiority or moral high ground, and it can be quite damaging, especially when used in excess.
So next time you hear someone frequently using the phrase “you should”, it might be a sign that you’re dealing with a judgmental or self-righteous person.
And if you catch yourself using it too often, it might be a good time for some self-reflection.
2) “I’m just being honest…”
If there’s one phrase that I’ve heard over and over from judgmental individuals, it’s “I’m just being honest”.
It’s a sentence often used as a shield, a way to justify harsh or critical comments.
I remember an ex-friend of mine who loved using this phrase.
She’d offer unsolicited critiques about my choices, from my career to the way I dressed, always ending her comments with, “I’m just being honest”.
It felt like she was hiding behind the banner of honesty to freely express her judgments.
But there’s a difference between honesty and unnecessary criticism. Honesty is crucial in any relationship, but it must be coupled with kindness and empathy.
3) “They’re just not trying hard enough…”
The phrase “they’re just not trying hard enough” is another favorite among judgmental and self-righteous individuals.
This statement assumes a lack of effort on the part of others, without any knowledge of the individual’s circumstances or struggles.
Interestingly, a psychological concept known as the Fundamental Attribution Error may be at play here.
This is when people overemphasize personal characteristics and ignore situational factors when judging others’ behavior.
So, when someone frequently uses the phrase “they’re just not trying hard enough”, they might be falling into this common cognitive bias, failing to consider external factors and unfairly judging others based on perceived character flaws.
4) “I would never…”
Another phrase often used by judgmental and self-righteous people is “I would never…”.
This statement is usually followed by an action or decision they disagree with or disapprove of.
When someone frequently uses this phrase, it generally suggests a lack of empathy or understanding for others’ experiences or choices.
It implies a moral superiority, suggesting that they are above making certain decisions or mistakes.
Remember, we all have different life experiences and circumstances that shape our decisions.
Using “I would never…” is a clear indication of passing judgement without considering these factors.
5) “I knew it…”
“I knew it…” is a phrase commonly used by individuals who possess a judgmental or self-righteous attitude.
This phrase implies that they had foreseen an outcome, suggesting a sense of superiority or omniscience.
This phrase can often be used in a negative context, following an unfortunate event or a mistake made by someone else.
It’s a way of asserting their own perceived wisdom or intelligence over others.
The usage of “I knew it…” usually lacks empathy or support for the person who may be going through a tough situation.
Instead, it focuses on reinforcing the speaker’s self-righteousness, further emphasizing their judgmental nature.
6) “That’s not how I raised you…”
A phrase that pulls at the heartstrings, yet is often used by judgmental and self-righteous individuals, is “That’s not how I raised you…”.
Parents or older relatives commonly use this phrase, usually expressing disappointment or disapproval over someone’s actions or decisions.
This phrase can induce guilt and self-doubt, making the individual question their choices.
It implies that they should have acted or made decisions according to the speaker’s views or expectations.
7) “It’s just common sense…”
I’ve often heard the phrase “It’s just common sense…” being used by judgmental individuals.
This statement implies that something should be obvious to everyone, dismissing any differing perspectives or understanding.
I faced this during my early days as a writer when my work was criticized by a colleague who believed his approach was the only ‘common sense’ way to write.
His frequent use of this phrase shut down opportunities for open discussion. It made me second-guess my abilities and instilled self-doubt.
This phrase undermines the fact that what may be obvious to one person might not be so for another.
It’s a form of judgment that neglects to account for individual differences and experiences.
8) “If I were you…”
The phrase “If I were you…” is another favorite among judgmental and self-righteous individuals.
It’s often used to start unsolicited advice or to imply that they would make a ‘better’ decision if they were in the other person’s shoes.
This phrase tends to disregard the individual’s personal feelings, experiences, and knowledge.
It assumes that the speaker’s perspective or decision-making process is superior.
Remember, each person’s situation and feelings are unique.
The use of “If I were you…” could be a subtle sign of a judgmental or self-righteous attitude.
9) “You’re too sensitive…”
The phrase “You’re too sensitive…” is a classic tool of judgmental and self-righteous individuals.
It’s often used to dismiss or invalidate another person’s feelings or reactions.
This phrase can be quite harmful, as it undermines a person’s emotions and can make them feel like they’re overreacting or not entitled to their feelings.
If someone often tells you that you’re too sensitive, it might not be a reflection of you, but rather a sign of their judgmental or self-righteous attitude.
Reflection
A greater awareness of our words and their impact can help promote understanding, reduce judgment, and encourage empathy.
Just as a mirror reflects our physical appearance, words can reflect our mental state.
So, the next time you hear these phrases, pause and reflect on what they might be revealing about the speaker’s mindset.
And if you find yourself using these phrases frequently, consider it an invitation for introspection. After all, self-awareness is the first step towards personal growth.
