Money plays a crucial role in our lives, but our relationship with it can sometimes become complicated.
For some, money represents security and freedom, while for others, it can stir up anxiety, guilt, or even obsession.
If you find yourself constantly worrying about finances or letting money control your emotions and decisions, it might be a sign of an unhealthy relationship with money.
Psychology shows that how we think and feel about money is deeply connected to our sense of self-worth, our upbringing, and even our past experiences with financial stress.
In this article, we’ll explore nine key signs that your relationship with money might be harming your emotional well-being and overall happiness.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward building a healthier, more balanced financial mindset—one where money serves you, not the other way around.
1) You’re constantly worried about money
Anxiety is a normal part of life. But if you find yourself constantly stressed about your finances, even when there’s no immediate crisis, that’s a clear sign something is off.
This kind of chronic worry can manifest in different ways. You might be:
- Losing sleep
- Finding it difficult to concentrate
- Feeling a persistent sense of dread
This constant worry might be a sign that you’re living beyond your means, or that you’re stuck in a cycle of debt. Or it could indicate a deeper issue, like a fear of scarcity or a belief that you don’t deserve financial stability.
While it’s normal to worry about money from time to time, if it’s consuming your thoughts and affecting your mental health, it’s worth taking a closer look at your relationship with money.
2) You’re often making impulse purchases
We’ve all been there. You’re browsing through a store or scrolling online, and you see something you just have to have. Even though it’s not in your budget, you buy it anyway.
That was me a few years back.
I’d see something flashy and instantly hit the ‘Add to Cart’ button, without giving a second thought to whether I really needed it or could afford it.
Impulse buying became my quick fix for stress relief and instant gratification. But in the long run, these purchases were leaving me with buyer’s remorse and a strained budget.
Psychology explains this as a common sign of an unhealthy relationship with money. Impulse buying can be driven by different factors, including emotional needs or a desire for social status.
Understanding why you’re spending impulsively can help you develop healthier financial habits.
3) You equate money with happiness
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we just had a little more money, we’d be happier. But research shows that after a certain point, additional income doesn’t significantly increase our happiness levels.
This is known as the Easterlin Paradox, named after economist Richard Easterlin.
He found that while richer individuals within a country are generally happier than poor individuals, wealthier nations aren’t necessarily happier than less wealthy ones.
If you find yourself constantly chasing after more money in the belief it will bring you happiness, you might be nurturing an unhealthy relationship with money.
Money is a tool that can provide comfort and security, but it isn’t a guaranteed path to happiness or fulfillment.
Recognizing this can help you refocus on what truly brings you joy and satisfaction, which often aren’t material possessions or wealth.
4) You’re secretive about your finances
If you find yourself hiding your spending habits, debts, or financial decisions from your partner, family, or friends, it may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship with money.
This kind of financial secrecy can stem from feelings of shame or fear.
Maybe you’re embarrassed about your spending habits or worried about being judged. Or perhaps you’re afraid that revealing the truth would lead to conflict.
However, openness and honesty are crucial for healthy financial relationships. If you’re keeping secrets about money, it might be time to reflect on why that is and seek support if needed.
5) You ignore your financial reality
Are you guilty of ignoring bills, avoiding checking your bank balance, or postponing dealing with debts?
This avoidance could be due to fear, anxiety, or a sense of being overwhelmed. However, turning a blind eye to your financial situation only worsens the problem and can lead to more stress in the long run.
It’s important to face your financial reality head-on. This means being aware of your income, expenses, savings, and debts. By understanding where you stand financially, you can make informed decisions and plan for a secure future.
Engaging with your finances might feel uncomfortable initially, but remember, knowledge is power. The more you understand about your financial health, the better equipped you’ll be to improve it.
6) You feel guilty about spending money on yourself
This one hits close to home for many of us. You work hard for your money, but when it comes time to spend it on yourself, a wave of guilt washes over you.
Whether it’s buying that new pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing or investing in a self-development course, you can’t shake off the feeling that you’re being selfish or wasteful.
If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with an unhealthy relationship with money. This guilt often stems from deeper beliefs about self-worth and deservingness.
It’s important to value yourself and your well-being. So treat yourself with kindness, invest in your growth, and know that it’s okay to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Spending money on yourself does not make you a bad person.
7) You’re constantly comparing your wealth to others
Social media makes it easy to compare our lives with others. We see our friends’ vacation photos, their new cars, and their fancy dinners out, and it’s hard not to feel a pang of envy.
I’ve been there myself – scrolling through Instagram, feeling a knot in my stomach as I compared my reality with the glossy highlights of others’ lives.
It felt like everyone was outpacing me financially, and I was left behind.
But this constant comparison is a sign of an unhealthy relationship with money. It shifts our focus from our own financial goals and progress to someone else’s.
And it’s important to remember that everyone’s financial journey is different, and what we see on social media is rarely the full picture.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, try focusing on your own financial goals and celebrating your progress. It’s your journey, not theirs.
8) Money controls your emotions
If your mood swings dramatically with the rise and fall of your bank balance, it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship with money.
Money is important, there’s no denying that. But if your happiness, peace of mind, or self-esteem are entirely dependent on your financial status, it may be time to reassess your relationship with money.
Money is a tool – not a measure of your worth or happiness. It’s important to find joy, contentment, and self-esteem outside of your financial status.
9) You’re not planning for the future
If you’re living paycheck to paycheck, with no plans or provisions for the future, it’s a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship with money.
Planning for the future isn’t just about retirement or big purchases. It’s about:
- Setting aside funds for emergencies
- Investing in your growth
- Ensuring financial security for you and your loved ones
Ignoring the future won’t make it go away. In fact, the sooner you start planning, the more prepared you’ll be.
Money isn’t just about the here and now. It’s a long-term journey, and a healthy relationship with money means being prepared for the road ahead.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey
Money is a tool, but when it starts to control your thoughts, emotions, or sense of self-worth, it can negatively impact many areas of your life.
By identifying these unhealthy patterns, you can begin to shift your mindset and develop a healthier relationship with money—one that supports your goals, happiness, and peace of mind.
With self-awareness and a willingness to address your relationship with money, you can build a more balanced, fulfilling life where money works for you, not against you.
