We all stress about things that, when you think about it, don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Ever wonder what those things are? Well, psychology has some answers for us.
There are certain things in life that we put so much energy into, but truth be told, they don’t actually impact our long-term happiness or success.
In this article, I’m going to share with you 9 of these things.
Let’s get started.
1) Keeping up with the Joneses
We all have that one friend or family member who always seems to have the latest gadget, the newest car, or the biggest house. It’s hard not to feel a twinge of envy at times.
But here’s the thing – according to psychological studies, these material possessions don’t actually matter in the long run.
The desire to “keep up with the Joneses” is a social pressure that many of us fall prey to. But in reality, these possessions don’t contribute to our long-term happiness or well-being.
Psychologists have found that experiences, relationships, and personal growth are far more important for long-term satisfaction. So next time you’re feeling envious of that shiny new car in your neighbor’s driveway, remember that it’s just a thing – and things don’t contribute to long-term happiness.
2) Dwelling on past mistakes
I’ll let you in on a little secret about me. I used to be the master of dwelling on past mistakes. I’d replay scenarios in my head, thinking about what I should have done differently.
But here’s what psychology has to say about that – it’s a complete waste of energy.
Studies show that dwelling on past mistakes doesn’t change what happened. It only saps our current happiness and prevents us from moving forward.
I’ve learned that it’s much healthier to accept that I’m human, and humans make mistakes. What matters is learning from those mistakes and using them as stepping stones for growth.
Now, when I find myself slipping into those past replay loops, I remind myself that what’s done is done. Instead, I focus on the present moment and on how I can do better next time.
And let me tell you – it’s made a world of difference in my outlook on life.
3) Holding grudges
We’ve all been there – someone wrongs us, and we swear we’ll never forgive them. But holding onto grudges, while it may feel satisfying in the moment, doesn’t do us any good in the long run.
Forgiveness is not only beneficial for our mental health, but it also improves our physical health. Yes, you read that right – letting go of grudges can actually lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and support a healthier heart.
When you find yourself holding onto a grudge, remember that it’s not just your mental well-being at stake. Your heart will thank you for letting go, too.
4) Seeking constant validation
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking constant validation. Whether it’s through likes on our social media posts or praise for our work, we’ve become accustomed to using external validation as a measure of self-worth.
But psychology tells us that this isn’t healthy or sustainable in the long run. Why? Because it places our happiness and self-esteem in the hands of others.
True contentment and self-confidence come from within, not from the approval of others. Learning to validate ourselves means recognizing our own value and accomplishments, even if they aren’t acknowledged by those around us.
5) Neglecting self-care
This is a big one, and it’s something that many of us are guilty of – neglecting our own self-care.
In our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to prioritise work, family, and other responsibilities over our own needs. We skip meals, forfeit sleep, and push our bodies and minds to the limit.
But here’s the heartfelt truth – neglecting self-care doesn’t just harm us in the present, it can also affect our long-term health and happiness.
Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. It’s the foundation of a healthy, balanced life. Taking time for ourselves – whether it’s to relax, exercise, or pursue a hobby – improves our mental health and increases our resilience to stress.
6) Chasing perfection
I spent a good chunk of my life chasing perfection. Whether it was in academics, work, or even my personal life, I was always striving for that elusive 100%.
But over time, I came to realize that this endless pursuit of perfection wasn’t getting me anywhere. In fact, it was causing me stress, anxiety, and a constant feeling of inadequacy.
It’s unattainable because it’s subjective and always changing. What’s considered “perfect” to one person may not be the same for another.
Moreover, the quest for perfection often prevents us from appreciating and celebrating our progress. It blinds us to our accomplishments and strengths because we’re too focused on our perceived shortcomings.
7) Overplanning
We all like to have a plan. It gives us a sense of control and certainty in an uncertain world. But psychology tells us that overplanning can actually hinder our happiness in the long run.
When we’re too rigid with our plans, we limit our flexibility and adaptability – two crucial skills for handling life’s unexpected twists and turns. Plus, too much planning can lead to excessive worry about the future, preventing us from enjoying the present.
The key is to strike a balance. Have a plan, but be open to detours. After all, some of the best moments in life come from the unexpected. Let’s embrace it!
9) Fear of failure
The fear of failure can be paralyzing. It can stop us from taking risks, pursuing our dreams, and reaching our full potential.
But here’s the most important thing you should know: Failure is not the enemy. It’s a teacher. It’s a stepping stone on the path to success.
Don’t let fear hold you back. Embrace failure, learn from it, and keep moving forward. It’s the only way to truly succeed.
Final thought: Embrace the imperfections
Whether it’s holding onto grudges, chasing perfection, or seeking constant validation, we often expend energy on endeavors that don’t contribute to our long-term happiness or personal growth.
Psychology tells us to embrace life’s imperfections and uncertainties. It encourages us to let go of the unnecessary burdens we place on ourselves.
Remember, it’s the journey, not the destination, that shapes us. The mistakes we make, the risks we take, and even the failures we experience – they all contribute to our growth and evolution as individuals.
So as you navigate through life, remember to focus on what truly matters – your well-being, personal growth, and the relationships that enrich your life. These are the things that stand the test of time and bring genuine contentment.
