There’s a thin line between sharing and oversharing.
According to psychology, there are certain things that are better left unsaid or undisclosed. This isn’t about keeping secrets, it’s about maintaining personal boundaries.
In this day and age, where everything seems to be public, it’s important to keep some things to yourself. Not only does this protect your mental health, but it also helps in building stronger relationships.
Here are nine things that you should always keep private.
Let’s dive right in.
1) Personal life details
Your personal life is called ‘personal’ for a reason. It’s yours and not everyone else’s.
Psychology suggests that sharing too much of your personal life can lead to vulnerability. This doesn’t mean you should never share anything about yourself, but rather, be selective about what and with whom you share.
Whether it’s your financial situation, your relationship status, or your family affairs, these are things that should generally be kept private. This is not about secrecy, but about maintaining healthy boundaries.
Remember, not everyone has your best interests at heart. So think twice before you spill the beans about everything happening in your life.
Keeping some things to yourself doesn’t make you enigmatic or deceitful. It simply means that you understand the importance of personal boundaries and respect your privacy.
2) Past resentments
We all have our share of past conflicts and resentments. It’s a part of life. But sharing them indiscriminately can often backfire.
For instance, I once had a misunderstanding with a close friend. It was something that bothered me for a long time. One day, in conversation with another friend, I ended up sharing the whole saga. The next thing I knew, the story had made its way back to the friend involved. It reopened old wounds and strained our relationship even further.
Psychology suggests that sharing past resentments not only drags you back into negative emotions but can also affect your relationships adversely. It’s better to deal with the past, forgive, forget and move on. Dwelling on it and discussing it repeatedly won’t help you or anyone else.
Remember, some stories are better left untold. Your past resentments should remain in the past, acknowledged and learned from, but not aired for all to see.
3) Your ambitions and goals
When we have big dreams and goals, it’s natural to want to share them. The excitement can be overwhelming and we often seek validation. But psychology suggests that it’s better to keep your ambitions to yourself.
The reason is something called ‘substitution’. A study published in Psychological Science found that when people announced their intentions to achieve a goal, they were less likely to follow through with the actual pursuit of the goal.
Simply put, the act of sharing your goal gives you a premature sense of accomplishment, reducing your motivation to work towards it.
So, next time you’re ready to shout about your dreams from the rooftops, consider keeping them under wraps and focusing on the journey instead. Your achievements will speak louder than your words ever could.
4) Charitable acts
Doing good deeds and helping others is a noble act. But, when it’s shared publicly, it can sometimes lose its authenticity.
Psychology suggests that broadcasting your charitable acts can lead to questions about your motives. Are you doing it out of genuine concern, or just for the applause?
The act of giving is a personal one. It should be about the joy of making a difference and not about seeking validation or applause.
When you do something good, let it be its own reward. Keep your charitable acts between you and the person or organization you’re helping. It maintains the purity of the act and keeps your intentions clear.
5) Material possessions
We live in a world where material possessions are often equated with success. But psychology suggests that constantly talking about your possessions can send the wrong message.
People might start to think that you’re showing off or trying to prove something. This can lead to unnecessary comparisons and negative feelings. It can also make you a potential target for people with less than good intentions.
Your worth is not determined by what you own. So, instead of focusing on material possessions, focus on your values, your actions, and your character. These are the things that truly define you and they’re worth far more than any material possession.
6) Personal grievances
Life can be tough and we all face trials and tribulations. But, sharing your grievances with everyone can sometimes do more harm than good.
When you’re going through a hard time, it’s important to seek support. But, broadcasting your troubles to the world isn’t always the best way to get it.
Dwelling on your problems publicly can exacerbate feelings of stress and anxiety. It can also cause others to view you as a person who is always mired in difficulties.
It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to seek help. But choose your confidantes wisely. Share your struggles with those who you trust most. They’re the ones who will provide you with the support and encouragement you need.
Life isn’t about broadcasting our struggles, but about overcoming them with grace and resilience.
7) Your income and financial status
Money is a touchy subject. I learned this the hard way when I casually mentioned my salary during a conversation with friends. What followed was an awkward silence and a noticeable shift in our interactions.
Discussing your income, savings, or financial status can lead to comparisons and judgments. It can create unnecessary tension and conflict, and can even lead to feelings of insecurity or inadequacy among those around you.
Financial matters are personal. They’re between you, your family, and your financial advisor. So, keep them that way to maintain harmony in your relationships.
8) Your medical history
Health is a private and sensitive matter. Discussing your medical history, or your current health issues, can feel like you’re exposing your vulnerabilities.
This doesn’t mean you should keep serious health issues from loved ones who need to know. But sharing them with everyone can lead to unsolicited advice, judgment, or even discrimination.
Your health is your business. Share it with those who genuinely care about your wellbeing, and those who can provide the support or professional advice you need.
You’re more than your medical history. Don’t let it define you in the eyes of others.
9) Your password and security details
In the age of digital technology, keeping your password and security details private is not just recommended, it’s essential.
These details are the keys to your personal and financial information. Sharing them can lead to misuse, fraud, and identity theft.
So, protect your online presence. Don’t share your passwords or security details with anyone, even those you trust. It’s not about distrust, it’s about security. Your digital safety should always remain a priority.
