Selfishness is a quality that often goes unnoticed by the person who possesses it. It’s a subtle trait, typically masked by self-justification.
Deeply selfish people engage in certain behaviors that might not immediately stand out to them as self-centered. This is not necessarily done with malice, but rather, they usually don’t realize their actions are being driven by self-interest.
In this article, we’ll explore ten behaviors that are commonly seen in deeply selfish individuals, often without their knowledge.
Let’s get started.
1) Always putting their needs first
Deeply selfish individuals often have a tendency to prioritize their own needs above others without realizing it.
This behavior isn’t always about big things. It could be as simple as choosing a restaurant without considering the preferences of others, or controlling the TV remote during shared viewing times.
At its core, selfishness is about considering oneself more important than others. This might not be done in a malicious way; often, these individuals believe they’re making the best decision for everyone involved.
However, a pattern of consistently putting one’s own needs and desires first without considering the impact on others is a clear sign of deep-rooted selfishness.
Awareness is the first step to change. Recognizing this behavior can help people work towards becoming more considerate and empathetic, resulting in healthier relationships with those around them.
2) Difficulty acknowledging others’ achievements
A behavior I’ve noticed in deeply selfish people is their struggle to genuinely acknowledge and celebrate the accomplishments of others.
Let me share a personal instance. I remember a time when one of my colleagues achieved something significant at work. Despite the fact that it was a team project, he failed to acknowledge the efforts and contributions of others, choosing to take all the credit himself.
His actions didn’t stem from malice or deliberate intent to harm. He genuinely believed he was the key contributor and that his efforts alone had led to the project’s success.
The inability to acknowledge the contributions of others is a subtle sign of deep-seated selfishness. After all, recognizing others’ achievements requires one to step outside of oneself and appreciate the value that others bring. This can be challenging for someone who is used to putting their own needs and desires first.
3) Difficulty in offering genuine apologies
When it comes to saying “I’m sorry”, deeply selfish individuals often struggle. This isn’t because they’re incapable of feeling remorse, but rather because apologizing requires acknowledging a mistake or wrong-doing, which can be a blow to their self-image.
In fact, a study conducted by the University of Queensland found that people with high levels of narcissism (a trait closely linked to selfishness) display a lower likelihood of offering sincere apologies.
A genuine apology requires empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. For deeply selfish individuals, this can be a challenge, as it requires them to step outside their own perspective and consider the feelings and needs of others.
4) Frequently interrupting others
Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person constantly interrupts you? This tendency to cut others off mid-sentence is often a sign of deep-rooted selfishness.
Interrupting others reveals a lack of respect for their thoughts and feelings. It sends a clear message: “What I have to say is more important than what you’re saying.” Again, this might not be done out of malice, but rather from an unconscious belief that their perspective or viewpoint holds more value.
It’s important to note that everyone interrupts occasionally – it’s a natural part of conversational flow. However, if someone consistently interrupts others and dominates conversations, it could be indicative of a more profound selfish trait.
5) A tendency to blame others
Deeply selfish individuals often have a tendency to shift blame onto others. This behavior is rooted in their desire to protect their self-image.
When things go wrong, instead of accepting responsibility for their actions, they’ll often find someone else to blame. This allows them to maintain a positive view of themselves, while deflecting any negative attention or criticism.
This blame-shifting not only allows them to avoid taking responsibility, but it also places unnecessary stress and pressure on others. However, they’re usually not aware that they’re doing this, as it’s more of a subconscious defense mechanism than a deliberate act of manipulation.
6) Lack of empathy
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a trait that deeply selfish individuals often struggle with. Their focus is so centered on their own needs and desires that they find it difficult to connect with the experiences of others.
This lack of empathy can be particularly challenging in personal relationships. It can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, as the other person feels unheard and unvalued.
However, it’s important to remember that selfish individuals aren’t necessarily uncaring. They may simply be unaware of how their actions impact those around them. By becoming more aware of this behavior, they can start to develop a greater capacity for empathy and understanding.
7) Consistently turning conversations towards themselves
I recall a friend who had a habit of steering every conversation back to her own experiences. Whether it was a discussion about movies, travel, or even personal struggles, she would invariably find a way to relate it back to herself.
This behavior, while sometimes subtle, is a common sign of deep-seated selfishness. It reflects a preoccupation with one’s own experiences and a lack of interest in those of others.
Conversations should be a two-way street, where both parties feel heard and valued. When one person consistently dominates the conversation, it can leave the other feeling unheard and marginalized.
8) Generosity with strings attached
Interestingly, deeply selfish individuals can sometimes appear quite generous. They may offer help, give gifts, or do favors for others. However, this generosity often comes with strings attached.
While it may seem like a selfless act on the surface, this sort of generosity is often driven by a desire for recognition, gratitude, or a return favor in the future. It’s more about maintaining control or gaining something in return than about genuine kindness or concern for others.
This behavior is a clear sign of deep-rooted selfishness. True generosity is about giving without expecting anything in return. It’s motivated by empathy and a genuine desire to help others.
9) Reluctance to compromise
Compromise is the backbone of any healthy relationship, be it personal or professional. It’s about finding a middle ground that respects and considers the needs and desires of all parties involved.
However, deeply selfish individuals often struggle with compromise. They tend to see situations from their own perspective and have difficulty acknowledging the validity of others’ viewpoints. This can lead to a reluctance to compromise, as they believe their way is the best way.
This behavior is not always intentional or malicious. In many cases, they’re simply unaware of their unwillingness to compromise. Recognizing this tendency can be the first step towards developing a more balanced and considerate approach to decision-making.
10) An excessive need for admiration
At the heart of deep-seated selfishness often lies an excessive need for admiration. These individuals crave validation and recognition from others. They want to be seen as special, superior, or exceptionally talented, and they often go to great lengths to gain this admiration.
However, this need for constant validation can result in self-centered behavior that disregards the feelings and needs of others. It’s important to remember that true self-worth comes from within, not from the approval of others. Being comfortable with oneself, without the need for constant external validation, is a crucial step towards overcoming deep-seated selfishness.
