We often don’t realize how our actions can rub people the wrong way. Sometimes, we unknowingly do things that push others away rather than draw them in.
But knowing what these things are is half the battle. It’s about understanding the subtle behaviors that can make people dislike you without you even noticing.
Here are seven things you might be doing that could be turning people off. I’ll help you identify them so you can start building better relationships, in a way that’s simple, straightforward, and relatable.
1) Lack of eye contact
Let’s start with something seemingly simple, yet incredibly impactful – eye contact.
Maintaining eye contact during a conversation is a basic etiquette. It communicates that you’re interested and engaged in the conversation.
Yet, many of us don’t realize how often we let our gaze wander. And it’s not just about looking at your phone or watch, it’s about not focusing on the person you’re talking to.
This can be especially true when we’re feeling uncomfortable or nervous. But it’s important to remember – when you don’t make eye contact, it can make the other person feel unimportant or unheard.
If you catch yourself doing this, make a conscious effort to maintain eye contact. It can go a long way in creating a positive impression and fostering better relationships.
2) Constantly interrupting
This is one I had to learn the hard way. We’ve all been in conversations where we’re so eager to share our thoughts that we end up interrupting the other person.
I remember a particular instance where I was having a discussion with a friend about a movie we’d both just seen. I was so excited about my take on the plot twist that I didn’t wait for him to finish his thought before I jumped in with mine.
My friend kindly pointed out what I was doing, and it hit me – I was more focused on my own thoughts than on listening to him.
Interrupting others can make them feel like their opinions don’t matter, or that you’re not really interested in what they have to say.
Let’s be mindful of this, and practice active listening. After all, everyone appreciates feeling heard and valued.
In our digital age, social media can be a double-edged sword. While it’s a great way to stay connected, it can also lead to over-sharing.
Did you know that a study by Brunel University found that people who constantly post about their lives on Facebook may be perceived as less likable? This is because it can come across as self-absorbed and attention-seeking.
It’s important to strike a balance. Share your milestones and important events, but avoid flooding people’s feeds with daily mundane updates or controversial opinions. And of course, always respect other people’s privacy when sharing posts that involve them.
4) Not respecting personal space
We all have an invisible bubble around us, a zone of comfort that we prefer others not to invade. This is our personal space, and its size can vary from person to person.
Not respecting someone’s personal space can make them feel uncomfortable or even threatened. It’s important to be aware of this, especially when meeting someone for the first time.
For instance, if you’re in a conversation and the other person keeps taking a step back, they might be telling you that you’re standing too close.
Paying attention to these non-verbal cues can help you maintain a comfortable distance and make the other person feel more at ease.
5) Being too negative
There was a time in my life when I was constantly complaining. Whether it was about the weather, my job, or the traffic, I always found something to grumble about.
I didn’t realize it then, but this negativity started affecting my relationships. People started avoiding me because they found my constant complaining draining.
Negativity can be contagious and can bring down those around us. It’s normal to vent sometimes, but if we’re always seeing the glass half empty, it might be worth looking into why that is and finding ways to cultivate a more positive outlook.
6) Ignoring or dismissing others’ feelings
Empathy is a powerful social tool. It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and understand their perspective. When we dismiss or ignore someone’s feelings, we’re sending a message that their emotions aren’t important to us.
For instance, if a friend shares that they’re feeling stressed or upset, responding with a casual “You’ll get over it,” can seem insensitive. Instead, acknowledging their feelings and offering support can make them feel heard and understood.
We all want to feel validated in our emotions. Showing empathy not only helps build stronger relationships, but also makes us more likable as individuals.
7) Not being authentic
In the end, nothing is more off-putting than insincerity. People can sense when we’re not being genuine, whether it’s through fake compliments, false enthusiasm, or pretending to be someone we’re not.
Authenticity creates trust and fosters deeper connections. It shows that we’re comfortable with who we are and that we value honesty in our relationships.
Be yourself. Your quirks, your passions, your strengths, and even your flaws make you unique. Embrace them. Authenticity is truly magnetic, and it’s the most likable trait of all.
Wrapping it up: It’s all a learning curve
Understanding our actions and how they affect others is a big part of human interaction. But let’s remember, we are all works in progress.
The fact that you’re reading this article means you’re already on the right path. You’re seeking to understand, and that’s half the battle won.
And while these seven behaviors might be common pitfalls, they’re not set in stone. We can change our habits, refine our social skills, and build healthier, more positive relationships.
As American author and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar once said, “Each of us must take responsibility for our actions, our well-being, and the attainment of our maximum potential.”
This journey of self-improvement is endless, and each step you take brings you closer to becoming a better version of yourself. So keep learning, keep growing, and most importantly, keep being you.
