We all aspire to move forward, to progress, to grow, and ultimately succeed in life. However, sometimes, we seem to be stuck in the same old place, struggling with the same old problems, and not making any significant headway.
We often wonder why we’re not advancing or why we’re not achieving the goals we’ve set for ourselves. What are we doing wrong?
The answer might be simpler than you think. It could be that we are holding onto certain habits, mindset or things that are preventing us from moving forward in life.
There are some things which can make us feel comfortable but in reality, they serve as chains that hold us back from reaching our full potential.
In this article, we will delve into eight things that you might be staying attached to, which could be the very reason why you’re not moving forward in life.
By recognizing and understanding these hindrances, you can start making changes and finally break free from the invisible shackles holding you back.
Let’s get started.
1. Living in the Past
The first and perhaps the most common thing that keeps people from moving forward is their attachment to the past.
It’s easy to get stuck in a loop of old memories, past mistakes, and opportunities that we missed or didn’t take.
You might find yourself reminiscing about ‘better times’ or obsessing over ‘what could have been’.
While it’s natural to reflect on the past, dwelling too much on it can prevent you from living in the present and planning for the future.
Living in the past means that you’re not fully embracing what’s happening right now. You cannot change what has happened, but you can control how you react to it and what you do next.
Your past does not define your future. Learn from it, let go of any regret or resentment, and use it as a stepping stone to grow and move forward.
It’s also worth noting that clinging onto past successes can be equally detrimental. Just because something worked for you in the past doesn’t mean it will work now or in the future. The world is constantly changing; what was successful yesterday may not be today.
2. Fear of Failure
The second major roadblock in our journey forward is an all-too-familiar foe: the fear of failure.
Many of us, including myself, have been guilty of letting this fear deter us from taking risks or stepping outside of our comfort zones.
The thought of failing and facing disappointment can be paralyzing and, as a result, we choose the safe route. We stick to what’s familiar, even if it’s not fulfilling.
But here’s the hard truth: Failure is an integral part of growth and success. Without failure, we wouldn’t learn.
Without failure, we wouldn’t improve or become stronger. Take it from me, I’ve had my fair share of failures and setbacks, but they didn’t deter me; they made me more resilient, wiser.
Consider the most successful people you know – inventors, entrepreneurs, artists – they’ve all experienced failure multiple times over.
But they didn’t let their failures define them; instead, they saw each failure as a learning opportunity, a stepping stone towards success.
Don’t let your fear of failure hold you back. Embrace it. See each failure not as a dead-end, but as a detour or a pit stop on your road to success. Learn from it and keep going.
3. Chasing Perfection
Now let’s talk about one of the most harmful yet seductive things that can keep us stuck in our tracks: the pursuit of perfection.
We live in a world that often equates perfection with success and happiness. We’re inundated with images and stories of perfect bodies, perfect careers, perfect families, perfect lives. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we, too, need to be perfect to be happy or successful.
But you know what? It’s all a big, fat lie. Chasing after perfection is like chasing after a mirage; it’s not real and it’s not attainable. No one is perfect. Not me, not you, not the person you’re comparing yourself to on social media. We all have flaws and make mistakes because we are human.
More often than not, this obsession with perfection leaves us feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and perpetually unsatisfied.
We procrastinate on starting that project because we fear it won’t turn out perfect. We don’t express our feelings for fear of saying the wrong thing. We hide our true selves for fear of being judged.
Here’s my honest advice: Let go of your need for perfection. Embrace your imperfections – they make you unique. Instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress.
4. Over-reliance on Others
In our interconnected world, it’s easy to assume that we always need others to move forward. We often think we need someone else’s approval, advice, or assistance to make progress.
This could be the approval of a boss, the advice of a mentor, or the help of a friend. While it’s true that we can’t do everything alone and that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but wisdom, an over-reliance on others can actually hold us back.
This may sound counterintuitive, but here’s the thing: when you constantly rely on others for direction or validation, you’re essentially handing over control of your life and your future to someone else. You’re not trusting in your own abilities or judgment. This can lead to a lack of self-confidence and independence.
It’s your life, and you are the best judge of what’s right for you. It’s okay to seek advice or help when you need it, but at the end of the day, you should be the one making the decisions. Trust yourself more. Believe in your abilities. Take charge of your own journey.
The next time you find yourself waiting for someone else’s approval or guidance, stop and ask yourself: “What do I think? What do I want? How can I solve this on my own?” You might be surprised at how capable and resourceful you really are. And trust me, there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction and confidence boost that comes from solving a problem or achieving a goal on your own.
5. Neglecting Self-Care
This point hits close to home for me because I’ve been there, and sometimes, I still find myself there. In our hustle to achieve more and be more, we often neglect the one thing that fuels all our endeavors – our own wellbeing. We push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion, skip meals, compromise on sleep, and ignore the signs our body and mind are giving us to slow down. We tell ourselves that we’ll relax once we’ve reached our goal.
But here’s the reality: Neglecting self-care doesn’t get us closer to our goals; instead, it pushes us further away from them. When we’re physically exhausted or mentally drained, we can’t perform at our best. Our productivity wanes, our creativity dwindles, and our motivation dips.
It took me a while, but I realized that taking care of myself isn’t selfish or a waste of time; it’s necessary. It’s just like they say in the airplane safety instructions: “Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Start prioritizing self-care. Treat it as a non-negotiable appointment on your daily schedule. Eat nourishing food, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, take breaks when you need them and do activities that you enjoy and that relax you.
Remember that self-care isn’t just about taking care of your physical health; it’s also about taking care of your mental health. Practice mindfulness, meditate, journal your thoughts, speak to a therapist if you need to. There’s no shame in seeking help.
6. Holding onto Toxic Relationships
This point is brutal but true: if you’re holding onto toxic relationships in your life, you are sabotaging your own progress. This could be a friend who always brings you down, a partner who doesn’t respect or value you, or even a family member who never misses a chance to belittle your dreams.
Toxic relationships drain your energy, lower your self-esteem, and fill your life with unnecessary drama and negativity. They distract you from your goals and make it harder for you to maintain a positive outlook on life.
Look, I get it. Letting go of these relationships is hard, especially when you care about or love these people. But sometimes, for the sake of your own wellbeing and happiness, you need to distance yourself from those who consistently bring you down.
Evaluate the relationships in your life. Are they uplifting and supportive or are they filled with constant criticism and negativity? Do they inspire and motivate you or do they drain and discourage you?
Remember, it’s okay to outgrow people. It’s okay to put your mental health first. It’s okay to surround yourself with positivity and people who believe in you, support you, and push you to be the best version of yourself.
7. Ignoring Your Passion
The great philosopher Alan Watts once said, “Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.”
And yet, many of us ignore our passions and interests for the sake of practicality or societal expectations.
We choose careers that offer stability but leave us feeling unfulfilled and uninspired. We sideline our interests, thinking they’re not ‘practical’ or ‘profitable’.
When you ignore your passion, you’re ignoring a fundamental part of who you are. You’re denying yourself the joy and fulfilment that comes from doing something you love. And honestly, what’s the point of moving forward if the path you’re on doesn’t make you happy or fulfilled?
I’m not saying that you should recklessly quit your job and pursue your passion without a plan. But I am saying that you should make room in your life for the things that light you up.
Maybe it’s painting, writing, coding, cooking, dancing, teaching – whatever it is, do more of it. You might not be able to turn it into a full-time career right away (or maybe you will!), but at least you’ll be spending time on something that brings you joy and satisfaction.
As Watts suggests, life is too short to spend it doing things that don’t make you happy. So start incorporating your passions into your life.
8. Neglecting Personal Growth
The final point is one that I had to learn the hard way. For a long time, I thought that once I reached a certain point in my life or career, I could just coast. I thought I had learned all there was to learn and grown all there was to grow. How wrong I was!
Life is a continuous journey of growth and learning. If you stop learning, you stop growing, and if you stop growing, you start stagnating. And stagnation is the antithesis of moving forward.
No matter how old we are or how much we think we know, there’s always something new to learn, a skill to improve, or an area of our life we can better. We should never become complacent about our personal growth.
Make it a point to invest in your personal growth. Read books, attend workshops or seminars, take up new hobbies, travel and explore new places. Challenge yourself regularly and step out of your comfort zone.
I’ve made personal growth a priority in my life, and the impact has been profound. It’s not only helped me become more skilled and knowledgeable but also more open-minded and adaptable. It’s helped me embrace change instead of resisting it.
