There’s a fine line between self-assurance and overcompensation.
Overcompensation often stems from low self-esteem. It’s a way of trying to mask feelings of inadequacy with displays of strength, competence or even aggression.
I’ve noticed that people who overcompensate for low self-worth usually present certain behaviors. And I know that understanding these behaviors can help us empathize and connect better with these individuals.
In this article, I’ll share with you the top 10 behaviors that often indicate someone might be overcompensating for their low self-esteem.
Let’s get started.
1) They often seek validation
One common trait among individuals who overcompensate for their low self-esteem is their constant need for validation.
These people struggle with feeling good about themselves. So, they look externally for reassurance and acceptance, hoping that it will make them feel better about themselves.
Think of the friend who can’t make a decision without first asking everyone’s opinion. Or the colleague who needs constant praise to feel competent in their job.
It’s a difficult cycle. They’re seeking external approval to fill an internal void. But no amount of external validation can truly fulfill someone’s self-worth.
2) They tend to be perfectionists
Perfectionism is another telltale sign of overcompensation for low self-esteem.
I, myself, have struggled with this in the past. I used to believe that if I could just do everything perfectly, then people would see my worth. Every minor mistake felt like a major catastrophe, and I would beat myself up over it.
It took me a while to realize that this was a manifestation of my own low self-worth. I was trying to prove my value through my accomplishments, rather than understanding that I’m valuable as I am, irrespective of my successes or failures.
It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect. When we see someone caught in the trap of perfectionism, it’s often because they’re overcompensating for their own feelings of inadequacy.
3) They frequently compare themselves to others
Comparison is a dangerous game that many people with low self-esteem find themselves playing. They continuously measure their worth, success, and happiness against that of others.
In an interesting study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that people who often compare themselves to others experience more envy, guilt, regret, and defensiveness.
This constant comparison fuels feelings of inadequacy and propels them to overcompensate in an attempt to match or surpass others.
4) They have a hard time saying “no”
Another behavior that individuals with low self-esteem often display is difficulty in saying “no”. They worry about disappointing others and fear that rejection or disapproval may follow if they don’t agree to every request.
They often overextend themselves, taking on too many responsibilities or commitments, in an attempt to feel valued and appreciated. This can lead to stress, burnout, and even resentment.
Understanding this behavior allows us to empathize with their situation and encourage them to set healthy boundaries.
5) They rarely express their true feelings
People who overcompensate for low self-worth often have difficulty expressing their genuine feelings or needs. They may feel that their emotions are a burden to others or worry about criticism and rejection.
Consequently, they often suppress their feelings, putting up a façade of happiness, even when they’re hurting inside. This emotional repression can lead to a host of problems such as anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues.
Recognizing this behavior is essential in providing these individuals with the support they need, encouraging them to express their emotions openly and honestly. It’s crucial for them to understand that their feelings are valid and important, regardless of what others may think or say.
6) They often belittle their own achievements
It’s heartbreaking to see someone constantly undermine their own successes. But this is a common behavior among individuals who overcompensate for low self-worth.
They often downplay their achievements, attributing them to luck or external factors rather than acknowledging their own efforts and skills. This is because they struggle to see their own value and worth.
It’s important for us to help them see the truth – that they are capable and deserving of their successes. Reminding them of their strengths and accomplishments can be a powerful way to help them boost their self-esteem and stop the cycle of self-deprecation.
7) They have a tendency to self-sabotage
There was a time when I found myself getting close to achieving a personal goal, only to start procrastinating or making poor decisions that would hinder my progress. It wasn’t until later that I realized this was a form of self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage is a common behavior among those who overcompensate for low self-esteem. Subconsciously, they may feel undeserving of success or happiness, leading them to undermine their own efforts.
It’s crucial to remember that everyone deserves success and happiness, and acknowledging our self-worth is key to achieving our goals.
8) They can be overly critical of others
It may seem odd, but those with low self-esteem often resort to criticizing others excessively. You might think that someone feeling low about themselves would be more empathetic towards others, but it’s usually the opposite.
This behavior is a defense mechanism, attempting to shift focus away from their own perceived inadequacies by highlighting the faults of others. It’s an unconscious attempt to boost their own self-esteem.
Understanding this behavior can help us respond with compassion and patience, and gently remind them of the value in focusing on positives rather than negatives.
9) They exhibit a strong need for control
A strong need for control is another behavior often displayed by people who overcompensate for low self-worth. They may feel that controlling their environment or the people around them will prevent any situation that could potentially expose their perceived inadequacies.
This could manifest in various ways from micro-managing at work, to being overly possessive in relationships, or even obsessive cleanliness and order at home.
10) They are overly defensive
Being overly defensive is perhaps the most telling sign of someone overcompensating for low self-worth. These individuals often perceive criticism, even constructive feedback, as a direct attack on their worth.
This defensiveness stems from a deep fear of being seen as inadequate. So, they go to great lengths to protect themselves from any perceived threat to their self-image.
Understanding this behavior is crucial. It’s important to approach these individuals with kindness and patience, offering support instead of criticism. And, most importantly, helping them understand that their worth is not defined by the opinions of others.
