There’s a fine line between being kind and being “too nice”.
When you’re “too nice”, you often suppress your own needs to cater to others, which can hold you back.
Understanding this difference is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships, achieving personal growth, and pursuing your ambitions.
In this article, we’ll explore eight signs that you’re being “too nice” and how it might be hindering your progress.
Let’s dive in.
1) People pleasing
In every aspect of life, it’s crucial to strike a balance between offering support to others and fulfilling your own needs.
However, being “too nice” often translates into an unhealthy habit of people-pleasing.
People-pleasers are known for going out of their way to make others happy, sometimes at the expense of their own well-being or boundaries.
If you find yourself constantly striving to meet others’ expectations, even when it means neglecting your own needs or desires, this could be a sign that your niceness is crossing the line.
2) Struggle to say no
One personal instance that comes to mind is when I found myself struggling to say ‘no’.
In the past, a friend would ask me for a favor, and without a second thought, I’d agree. It didn’t matter if I was swamped with my own tasks or if the favor was out of my way – I just couldn’t say ‘no’.
I believed that to maintain our friendship, I needed to be there for them all the time. But before long, my friend started taking my willingness for granted. It felt as though my kindness was being exploited.
I realized then that by not setting boundaries, I was enabling others to take advantage of my good nature. It was a sign that I was being “too nice” and it was indeed holding me back.
Learning to say ‘no’ when necessary is a vital skill in maintaining balance and fairness in relationships.
3) Lack of assertiveness
A lack of assertiveness often goes hand in hand with being “too nice”. People who are overly nice tend to shy away from expressing their thoughts and feelings openly, fearing they might upset others.
In a study conducted by the American Psychological Association, it was found that people who are low in assertiveness often experience higher levels of stress, burnout, and job dissatisfaction.
Being able to express your needs and stand up for yourself is pivotal for maintaining healthy relationships and overall mental well-being.
4) Constantly seeking approval
Being “too nice” can often mean that you’re constantly seeking approval from others.
You might find yourself going above and beyond to earn praise or recognition, even if it means overextending yourself or compromising your own needs and values.
This constant need for validation can be draining and can prevent you from pursuing your own interests, goals, or identity.
Your worth is not determined by others’ opinions or approval. You have the right to make choices that align with your personal values and aspirations, regardless of what others might think.
5) Feelings of resentment
One of the signs that you’re being “too nice” is when feelings of resentment start to bubble up inside you.
You might be giving so much of yourself, your time, and your energy to others that you start to feel taken for granted. You may begin to wonder why others aren’t reciprocating your kindness or why they rarely seem to consider your needs.
This can lead to feelings of resentment, which can sour relationships and negatively impact your mental wellbeing.
Without self-care and setting boundaries, it’s easy to grow resentful, which can lead to damaged relationships and personal unhappiness.
6) Ignoring your own needs
There was a time when I found myself always putting others’ needs before my own. I thought this was a noble trait, a sign of selflessness. But over time, I realized that I was neglecting my own needs and desires.
I would often skip meals to help a friend with their tasks or give up my free time to assist others, even when I was exhausted or needed that time for myself.
This constant self-sacrifice left me feeling drained and unfulfilled. It was then I realized that by constantly ignoring my own needs, I wasn’t truly practicing kindness but rather facilitating a form of self-neglect.
It’s crucial to understand that taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your overall wellbeing and capacity to genuinely care for others.
7) Difficulty in receiving
Being “too nice” can also manifest as difficulty in receiving help, compliments, or kindness from others.
You might feel uncomfortable or guilty when someone does something nice for you or offers to help. This often stems from a belief that you should be the one doing for others, not the other way around.
But relationships are a two-way street. Just as you give, it’s also important to be open to receiving.
8) Loss of personal identity
The most critical sign that you’re being “too nice” is when you begin to lose sight of your personal identity.
If you’re constantly molding yourself to fit what others want or expect, you may start to forget who you truly are. You might lose touch with your own interests, values, and beliefs in the process of constantly pleasing others.
Maintaining your individuality while being kind to others is essential. Your uniqueness is what makes you who you are, and it’s something that should never be compromised.
