There’s a fine line between being genuinely good and just pretending.
Some people expertly conceal their true intentions, making it hard to see their real character.
As a keen observer, I’ve noticed subtle signs that reveal when someone isn’t as good as they seem.
In this article, I’ll share 7 signs that hint someone you know may not be as good as they seem—brace yourself!
1) They’re always right
We all know someone who never admits they’re wrong, even when it’s clear as day.
This trait is not just annoying, it’s a sign of an underlying issue. Good people are open to the idea that they might be wrong and are willing to learn from their mistakes.
They accept that they’re human and flawed, just like everyone else.
On the other hand, people who always insist on being right and never take responsibility for their errors may be hiding a deeper character flaw.
They could be so focused on maintaining their image that they’re willing to twist facts and deny reality just to appear infallible.
This refusal to admit mistakes can lead to a toxic environment where others feel blamed or disregarded.
2) They take more than they give
I once had a friend who always seemed to be in need. Whether it was a ride, some cash, or help with a task, she was constantly asking for favors.
But when I needed her assistance, she was nowhere to be found.
Good people understand the concept of balance in relationships. They’re willing to give and take, understanding that friendships aren’t one-sided.
But when someone consistently takes more than they give, it can be a sign of a deeper issue.
People who only take are usually more focused on their needs and wants than on the welfare of others.
This lack of consideration and empathy can be a subtle sign that they’re not as good as they appear to be.
3) They’re quick to judge
A study conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that people who are quick to judge others often have a low level of emotional intelligence.
This trait can be a subtle sign of someone not being as good-hearted as they may seem.
Good people understand that everyone has a different story, different experiences, and different perspectives. They listen with an open mind and refrain from labeling or judging others hastily.
However, those who are quick to pass judgment often lack empathy and understanding. They tend to see the world in black and white, failing to appreciate the complexities and nuances of human behavior.
4) They break promises
We’ve all been there — someone promises to do something and then fails to follow through. While occasional slip-ups are normal, a pattern of broken promises can be a red flag.
Good people understand the importance of trust in relationships. They know that breaking promises erodes this trust and can lead to the breakdown of relationships.
On the flip side, someone who constantly breaks their promises may not value their relationships as much.
This could be because they prioritize their own needs over others’, or simply because they lack reliability and accountability.
5) They belittle your achievements
I still remember the day I got promoted at work. I was over the moon and couldn’t wait to share the news with my friends.
But one of them dismissed my achievement, saying it wasn’t a big deal and that anybody could get promoted if they tried.
Good people celebrate your achievements and are genuinely happy for you. They understand that your success does not diminish theirs.
However, those who belittle your achievements or try to downplay them might be hiding their own insecurities or jealousy.
This lack of support and genuine happiness for others can be a sign that they’re not as good as they portray themselves to be.
6) They gossip about others
Ever been around someone who constantly talks about others behind their backs? It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?
Good people understand that everyone has their own struggles and respect their privacy. They choose to talk about ideas, not people.
But those who consistently gossip might be trying to elevate themselves by bringing others down. This habit can be a sign of negativity and a lack of respect for others’ privacy.
7) They lack empathy
The most crucial sign of someone not being a good person, even if they hide it well, is a lack of empathy.
Good people can put themselves in others’ shoes. They understand and share the feelings of others, offering comfort and support when needed.
However, people who lack empathy are often self-centered and indifferent to others’ feelings. They may dismiss others’ problems or even derive pleasure from their pain.
A lack of empathy is not just a red flag; it’s a flashing siren that someone might not be as good-hearted as they seem.
Final thoughts: It’s about respect
At the core of these signs is a key element that separates genuine people from pretenders: respect—for others’ feelings, achievements, privacy, and intrinsic value.
Psychology professor and author Dr. Brené Brown once said, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.”
People who lack respect struggle to connect because they don’t value others.
As you navigate relationships, look beyond the surface and prioritize respect.
Everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, and valued—with keen observation, you can uncover the true nature of those around you (and save yourself)!
