Discovering your personality type can be a journey of self-realization. For some, that journey leads to the discovery of being an INFJ, the world’s rarest personality type.
Being an INFJ isn’t just about being introverted and intuitive, it’s more complex than that. It’s about having a unique blend of traits that set you apart from the rest.
In this article, I’m going to share 10 tell-tale signs that you might just be an INFJ.
Let’s get started.
1) Deeply reflective
As an INFJ, one of your defining traits will be your depth of thought.
INFJs aren’t just daydreamers or absent-minded professors. They’re individuals who take time to ponder over life’s big questions, analyzing patterns, and making connections that others might miss.
This deep reflection isn’t aimless. It often leads to insights about human nature, systems, or the universe that can appear profound to others.
This introspective journey isn’t always shared with others, making it a relatively hidden trait. But if you find yourself constantly lost in thought, diving deep into ideas and theories, you might just be an INFJ.
2) High sensitivity
Another sign you might be of the INFJ persuasion is a higher than average sensitivity. This isn’t just about being ‘touchy’ or easily upset. It’s about having a heightened awareness of your surroundings, and an acute sense of empathy.
For instance, I remember walking into a room and immediately feeling a shift in my mood. I couldn’t put my finger on it initially, but after some introspection, I realized that it was the tension in the room that was impacting me. The people around me were having a heated discussion before I walked in. Even though they had stopped by the time I arrived, I could still sense the residual tension.
This sensitivity also extends to others’ feelings. As an INFJ, you’re likely to be deeply empathetic, often understanding others’ emotions even before they do. But be aware, this can also make you prone to feeling overwhelmed or drained, especially in highly charged emotional environments.
3) Need for solitude
As an INFJ, you’re likely to have a strong need for solitude. While you may enjoy socializing and connecting with others, you also crave time alone to recharge and reflect.
This stems from the ‘I’ in INFJ, which stands for Introversion. Introverts gain energy from being alone, while extroverts gain energy from interacting with others.
But here’s where it gets fascinating: INFJs are often mistaken for extroverts. This is because they genuinely enjoy engaging in deep and meaningful conversations, which can give the impression of being outgoing. But unlike true extroverts, INFJs will still need to retreat into solitude after social interactions to recharge their batteries.
This delicate balance between social engagement and solitude is a unique trait of INFJs and one that can often lead to misinterpretations by others.
4) Idealistic visionaries
If you’re an INFJ, you probably have a strong vision for the future. Not just your future, but the future of humanity as a whole.
This isn’t just about having lofty dreams or wishful thinking. As an INFJ, you likely have a concrete vision of how things could be better, along with a strong desire to make that vision a reality.
You may often find yourself seeking ways to improve the world around you and are driven by a deep sense of purpose and idealism. You believe in the potential for people and society to evolve and improve, even when confronted with cynicism or doubt from others.
However, this trait can also be a double-edged sword, as you may be disappointed when reality doesn’t meet your high expectations. But don’t let this discourage you – it’s your visionary outlook that makes you unique and can lead to tremendous positive change.
5) Perfectionist tendencies
As an INFJ, you likely have high standards for yourself and others. This can often manifest as perfectionist tendencies.
It’s not just about having a clean desk or a perfectly organized planner. It goes deeper than that. You strive for excellence in everything, from your work projects to your personal relationships.
You pay attention to the smallest details and are rarely satisfied with ‘good enough’. Instead, you push for the best possible outcome, sometimes even at the expense of your own wellbeing.
While this perfectionism can drive you to achieve great things, it’s also important to remember that everyone, including yourself, is human and imperfect. Learning to balance this drive for perfection with self-compassion and acceptance is a critical part of the INFJ journey.
6) Deep emotional connections
If you’re an INFJ, you probably crave meaningful relationships over casual acquaintances.
You value deep, emotional connections. Surface-level chit-chat doesn’t fulfill you; you’d rather discuss meaningful topics or explore shared passions. You yearn for authentic relationships where both parties can be open and vulnerable.
But this yearning for depth in relationships isn’t always easy. It can sometimes leave you feeling lonely or misunderstood when you don’t find those connections readily available.
Remember, though, that it’s this ability to form deep emotional bonds that also allows you to touch the lives of others in profound ways. Even if it takes time to find those special relationships, know that your ability to connect deeply is a gift, not a curse.
7) Struggle with confrontation
As an INFJ, you may find yourself avoiding conflict or confrontation. You seek harmony in your relationships and often go to great lengths to maintain it.
I recall a time when I disagreed with a friend’s decision. Instead of voicing my concerns, I chose to stay silent. I didn’t want to upset her or cause a rift in our relationship. Looking back, I can see how this trait can sometimes hinder open communication.
This fear of confrontation is rooted in the INFJ’s desire for peace and understanding. However, it’s essential to remember that conflict is not always a bad thing. It can lead to growth, understanding, and stronger relationships if handled constructively. So, while it might be uncomfortable, standing up for what you believe in is important.
8) People watchers
While INFJs are often lost in their own thoughts, they also have a keen eye for observing others.
Despite needing solitude to recharge, INFJs are incredibly fascinated by people. They often enjoy sitting back and watching others, absorbing and analyzing their behaviors, motives, and personality traits.
This might seem contradictory for introverts who crave alone time. But it’s this paradoxical blend of introspection and interest in others that allows INFJs to understand people on a profound level.
If you find yourself people-watching at a coffee shop or a park, taking mental notes about human behavior – you might be an INFJ. Just remember, it’s not about being nosy; it’s about understanding and empathizing with the human experience.
9) Future-oriented
As an INFJ, you likely have a strong focus on the future.
You’re not one to dwell on the past or even get caught up in the present. Instead, your mind is often occupied with thoughts about what’s yet to come. You’re constantly thinking about your future goals, the impact of your actions on the future, and even future societal trends.
This forward-thinking mentality serves you well when it comes to planning and decision-making. You’re great at visualizing potential outcomes and making decisions that align with your long-term goals.
While being future-oriented is a strength, it’s also important to stay grounded in the present. Life is happening now, and it’s just as important to enjoy today as it is to plan for tomorrow.
10) Desire to make a difference
At the core of an INFJ personality is a deep-seated desire to make a difference in the world.
You’re not content with just living a comfortable life; you want your life to have purpose and meaning. You’re driven by a need to contribute to the betterment of society, whether that’s through your career, volunteer work, or personal relationships.
This desire isn’t always about grand gestures or sweeping changes. It’s often found in the small, everyday actions you take to improve the lives of those around you.
It’s this passion for positive change that makes you an INFJ. It’s what fuels your vision, feeds your idealism, and ultimately, defines who you are.
The essence of being an INFJ
You might feel like a walking contradiction at times. You desire deep connections, yet need solitude. You observe others keenly, yet are often lost in your own thoughts. You strive for perfection, yet are disillusioned by reality.
The Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung, who in many ways is the forefather of personality typology, once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
Embrace these paradoxes as they are the essence of who you are as an INFJ. Remember that your rarity isn’t a curse, but a unique strength. It allows you to view the world in ways others can’t and positions you to make lasting changes that others might not even contemplate.
Being an INFJ isn’t just about identifying with certain traits or behaviors. It’s about understanding who you are at your core and using this understanding to navigate the world and make a difference in your unique way.
