We often like to believe we’re good people, but sometimes our actions may contradict this self-perception.
According to psychology, there are certain behaviors that might suggest you’re not as good a person as you think.
These signs aren’t meant to label you as ‘bad’, but rather to serve as a wake-up call for self-improvement.
Let’s delve into the 7 signs that perhaps, just perhaps, you’re not entirely the saint you believe yourself to be.
1) Lack of empathy
Psychology points out that a key indicator of not being a good person is a lack of empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what allows us to connect with people on a deeper level, to feel their joy, their pain, their struggles.
When we lack empathy, we struggle to form meaningful relationships. We may come off as uncaring or even cruel, as we fail to consider how our actions might affect those around us.
This isn’t to say that if you’ve ever struggled with empathy, you’re inherently bad. But it is a sign that perhaps, there’s an aspect of your character that needs some work.
2) Frequent lying
Another sign, highlighted by psychology, that you might not be as good a person as you think is frequent lying.
We all tell little white lies from time to time. “Yes, your new haircut looks great,” or “No, I don’t mind you being late.” These small fibs are usually told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings and are generally harmless.
However, frequent and unnecessary lying is a different story. It’s a behavior that erodes trust and damages relationships.
I remember a time when I used to lie frequently. It wasn’t about anything major, just minor things like why I was late to a meeting or why I didn’t complete a task on time. But these small lies started piling up and soon people started doubting my credibility.
It was a hard pill to swallow when I realized that my lying was turning me into someone I didn’t want to be. It forced me to take a long, hard look at myself. While it was difficult to break the habit of lying, it was an essential step in becoming a better person.
If you find yourself lying frequently, it’s an indicator that you may need to work on becoming more honest and trustworthy.
3) Being overly critical
We often associate criticism with negativity, but in moderation, it can be an effective way to improve and grow. However, when criticism becomes excessive and constant, it’s a sign you might not be as good a person as you think.
People who are overly critical tend to find fault in everything around them. They’re quick to point out mistakes and rarely acknowledge others’ efforts or successes. This behavior can be exhausting for those around them, leading to strained relationships and a negative environment.
Here’s something intriguing. According to a study, people who are overly critical are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. This could be because they spend so much time focusing on the negative aspects of life that they struggle to appreciate the positive.
If you find yourself always criticizing others, it might be time to take a step back and try to cultivate a more positive outlook. Remember, everyone makes mistakes and constantly pointing them out doesn’t make you a better person. It just makes you harder to be around.
4) Taking more than giving
Relationships, whether they’re personal or professional, are built on a balance of give and take. However, if you find yourself predominantly on the receiving end, it might be a sign that you’re not as good a person as you think.
Taking more than giving can manifest in various ways. Maybe you’re always the one being helped but never offering help. Or perhaps you’re quick to accept generosity from others but rarely return the favor.
This imbalance can strain relationships and shows a lack of consideration for others’ time, efforts, and feelings.
Becoming aware of this pattern is the first step to changing it. Strive for balance and fairness in your relationships. Remember, it’s just as rewarding to give as it is to receive.
5) Ignoring boundaries
Respecting other people’s boundaries is an essential part of being a good person. Boundaries are the limits people set for themselves to protect their wellbeing and maintain their autonomy.
If you’re regularly overstepping these boundaries, it’s a sign that you might not be as good a person as you believe. This behavior shows a lack of respect and understanding for other people’s personal space and feelings.
I remember a time when I struggled with this. A close friend of mine had clearly expressed that they needed some time alone after going through a tough breakup. But I, thinking I was helping, kept pushing them to talk about it and hang out more. In the end, my actions only caused more strain.
It was a lesson learned the hard way. Respecting other people’s boundaries isn’t just about giving them space when they ask for it; it’s about understanding and acknowledging their needs, even if you don’t completely agree with them.
6) Constantly playing the victim
Life throws challenges at us, and it’s natural to feel victimized at times. However, if you find yourself constantly playing the victim, blaming others for your problems, and refusing to take responsibility for your actions, it might be a sign that you’re not as good a person as you think.
The victim mentality can make it difficult for you to grow and learn from your experiences. Instead of acknowledging your mistakes and learning from them, you’re more likely to pass the blame onto others. This behavior can hinder your personal growth and damage your relationships.
Taking responsibility for our actions is a challenging yet necessary part of personal development. It’s only when we own up to our mistakes that we can learn from them and become better individuals.
7) Lack of self-awareness
Perhaps the most telling sign of not being as good a person as you think is a lack of self-awareness.
Self-awareness is the ability to see ourselves clearly – understanding our strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. It’s about recognizing how we affect the people around us.
Without self-awareness, you can’t identify your flaws or areas where you need improvement. You’re likely to repeat harmful patterns and behaviors without realizing their impact on others.
So if you want to be a better person, start with self-awareness. Understand yourself, your actions and their effects on others. It’s the first step to being a genuinely good person.
