8 things you’re doing that make people instantly dislike you, according to psychology

Interacting with others can feel tricky—you never know what might trigger dislike.

Psychology shows certain behaviors can make people instantly dislike you, and you might be doing some without even realizing it!

These unconscious habits aren’t your fault, but recognizing them can change how others see you.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 surprising things that may be causing instant dislike:

1) Dominating the conversation

Ever been in a conversation where you can’t get a word in edgewise? Odds are, it wasn’t your favorite chat.

When we monopolize conversations, we might think we’re just sharing interesting stories or viewpoints. But what it actually does is create a one-sided dynamic that leaves the other person feeling unheard and unimportant.

Psychologically speaking, people want to feel valued and acknowledged. When you dominate the conversation, it sends the message that your thoughts and experiences are more important than theirs.

This doesn’t mean you should be silent. It’s about finding a balance in conversation – listening as much as you talk, showing interest in what the other person has to say. This simple switch can dramatically improve how others perceive you.

2) Hiding your flaws

We all have little quirks and imperfections – that’s what makes us human. You’d think that hiding them would make people like us more, right? Well, according to psychology, it’s quite the opposite.

When you try to appear perfect, it can come across as inauthentic or even intimidating. People might feel like they can’t relate to you or that you’re setting an unrealistic standard.

Sharing your flaws, on the other hand, makes you seem more approachable and relatable. It shows humility and self-awareness, qualities that people generally find appealing.

People are more likely to connect with your authentic self than a picture-perfect facade.

3) Not making eye contact

Our eyes are often called the windows to our soul, and there’s a good reason for that. They play a crucial role in human connection and communication.

When you avoid eye contact, it can send a few negative signals. People might interpret it as you being disinterested, untrustworthy, or even rude.

On the other hand, maintaining appropriate eye contact can make your interactions more engaging. It shows that you’re present, interested, and respectful.

However, there’s a fine line between making eye contact and staring. The latter can make people uncomfortable. So aim for a balance – look into their eyes when they’re speaking or when you’re making a point, but also take breaks to look away or glance around.

4) Neglecting to show gratitude

We all appreciate being appreciated. Whether it’s for a grand gesture or a small favor, a simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way.

Sometimes, we might forget to express our gratitude or feel that it’s unnecessary. But acknowledging the efforts of others not only makes them feel valued, but it also elevates their opinion of us.

Gratitude is a powerful tool in building and maintaining relationships, as mentioned in an article from Positive Psychology. It shows that you don’t take others for granted and that you recognize their contributions.

It’s a small gesture that can have a big impact!

5) Being too serious all the time

Life can get pretty tough, and we all have our share of worries. But if you’re constantly serious or stressed, it might put people off.

Everyone enjoys a good laugh. It lightens the mood and brings people closer. A little humor can make you more likable and approachable.

Of course, there’s a time and place for everything, and seriousness is necessary in certain situations. But if you’re always in serious mode, people might feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you.

Try to lighten up a bit—share a funny story, laugh at a joke, or just smile more. You’ll be surprised at how much it can improve your interactions with others.

6) Being glued to your phone

We live in a digital age where our smartphones feel like an extension of ourselves. But have you noticed how often you’re checking your phone, even when you’re with others?

I remember sitting with a friend at a coffee shop one day. While we were talking, her phone buzzed with a notification. She picked it up and started scrolling through her social media feed, completely tuning me out.

It felt as if I was less important than whatever was happening on her screen. It’s a small thing, but it can leave a lasting negative impression.

When you’re spending time with someone, give them your full attention. It shows respect and that you value their company more than your online presence. Save the scrolling for later — the social media world can wait.

7) Always being late

Let’s face it – nobody likes waiting. Being consistently late sends a clear message: your time is more valuable than theirs.

Sure, we all run late sometimes due to unforeseen circumstances. But when it becomes a habit, it’s disrespectful and frustrating for others.

Being punctual is about more than just good time management. It’s a sign of respect for other people’s time and commitments.

So next time you have an appointment or meeting, plan ahead. Leave a bit early to allow for unexpected delays. Because when you respect other people’s time, they’re more likely to respect you.

8) Not being yourself

At the end of the day, the most likable person you can be is yourself. Trying to be someone you’re not can come across as insincere and off-putting.

According to an article from the Medium, people are drawn to authenticity. It’s easy to sense when someone is genuine, and it makes them more attractive and relatable.

So embrace your quirks, your interests, your strengths, and even your weaknesses. They’re what make you unique.

Don’t try to fit into a mold or be what you think others want you to be. Just be yourself, because there’s no one else quite like you.