We all love a good chat, right? It’s how we share stories, crack jokes, and get to know each other better. But what happens when a chat leaves you feeling a bit… suspicious?
Believe it or not, some phrases can be big red flags that the person you’re talking to might not be as honest as they seem.
So grab your detective hat and let’s dive into 10 phrases men who lack honesty and integrity might use in conversation.
1. “Trust me”
When people are being honest, they usually let their words speak for themselves. They don’t feel the need to convince you to believe them.
So, if a man is constantly saying “Trust me” in a conversation, it might be a sign that he’s trying to hide something. It’s like he’s trying to distract you from his dishonesty by insisting on your trust.
Remember, trust is earned through actions, not just words.
2. “To be honest”
“To be honest” is another phrase that sounds like the person is just trying to be open, but it might not be as innocent as it seems.
If a man constantly uses this phrase, it might mean he’s not usually honest. It’s as if he needs to make a special announcement when he’s telling the truth. A truly honest person doesn’t need to clarify when they’re being truthful; their honesty comes naturally.
3. “I never lie”
This one takes me back. I once knew a guy who would always say, “I never lie” in our conversations. It seemed a bit odd but I brushed it off at first. But over time, it became clear that his actions didn’t match his words. There were little inconsistencies here and there that made me question his honesty. The phrase “I never lie” turned out to be a cover-up for the times when he wasn’t being truthful.
It taught me that people who really value honesty don’t feel the need to constantly declare their honesty; they show it through their actions.
4. “Believe me”
In the world of conversation, “Believe me” can be a tricky phrase. It’s often used when a person is trying to convince you of something that might not be completely true.
Interestingly, a study found that people who are lying tend to use more third-person pronouns and fewer first-person pronouns. So, if you notice that “believe me” is often accompanied by phrases like “he said” or “they think”, it might be a sign that the person is not being entirely honest.
5. “I don’t want to hurt you”
This phrase might seem compassionate and caring at first glance, but it’s often used by people who are trying to soften the blow of a lie or deception. It’s like they’re preparing you for the disappointment that may follow.
This isn’t to say that everyone who uses this phrase is dishonest, but it’s important to listen to your gut. If something feels off when you hear these words, it might be because the speaker’s actions aren’t lining up with their seemingly kind words.
Kindness and honesty should go hand in hand, not be used as a smokescreen for deceit.
6. “I swear”
I remember a friend of mine who used to start or end many of his statements with “I swear.” At first, it seemed like he was just emphasizing the truth of his words. But as time passed, I started to notice that these “sworn” statements weren’t always accurate.
It was a harsh lesson, but an important one: just because someone swears something is true, doesn’t mean it is. The truth should stand on its own, without needing an oath to back it up.
7. “I don’t remember”
Look, we all forget things. Where we left our keys, what we had for lunch two Tuesdays ago, it happens.
But if a guy uses “I don’t remember” like a get-out-of-jail-free card in every tough conversation, it’s a red flag. It’s an easy way to dodge questions or avoid being accountable for his actions. If he genuinely doesn’t remember important details or conversations often, it could be a sign that he’s not fully present or sincere in your interactions.
Let’s face it, honesty requires memory and if that’s always the excuse, there’s likely more to the story.
8. “It’s a long story”
When someone says, “It’s a long story,” it might seem like they’re just trying to save you time. But in reality, this phrase can often be used as a way to avoid revealing the truth.
According to research, people who are lying tend to give shorter responses and less detail. So, if a man is quick to shut down an inquiry with “It’s a long story,” it might be worth wondering what he’s leaving out.
9. “I was just joking”
I’ve come across a few people who’ve used the “I was just joking” line when their words were challenged or didn’t land well.
At first, it can seem like they’re just trying to lighten the mood, but over time, it became clear that this phrase was often a cover-up for offensive or dishonest statements.
If someone consistently hides behind humor when they’re called out, it may be a sign that they’re using jokes as a shield against honesty and accountability. True humor should bring joy, not doubts about someone’s integrity.
10. “It’s not what it looks like”
Let’s get real. When a man says, “It’s not what it looks like,” it usually is exactly what it looks like.
This phrase is a classic deflection tactic, often used when someone is caught in the act of doing something they shouldn’t be doing. It’s an attempt to create doubt where there shouldn’t be any and to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Remember, actions speak louder than words, and if the actions are screaming dishonesty, it’s probably time to take a step back and reassess.
