9 subtle behaviors that make a person highly unlikable, according to psychologists

1) The constant complainer

We’ve all encountered that person who seems to have an endless list of complaints. No matter how minor or inconsequential, they find something to gripe about.

This behavior can be subtle at first. You may initially sympathize, seeing them as a victim of unfortunate circumstances. But over time, the constant negativity becomes draining and off-putting.

Psychologists suggest that this type of chronic complaining could stem from an underlying inability to take responsibility for their actions or circumstances.

Instead of problem-solving, they resort to blaming others or their environment.

2) The conversation monopolizer

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who seems to only want to talk about themselves?

This can be an incredibly frustrating and unlikable trait.

Sometimes, these individuals subtly steer every conversation back to themselves or their experiences. Other times, they may blatantly disregard what you’re saying and start talking about their own interests or achievements.

This behavior could be an indication of underlying egocentrism – a self-centered perspective where one has difficulty understanding others’ viewpoints.

They may not realize they’re doing it, but their constant need to dominate conversations can come across as disrespectful and dismissive.

3) The excessive agreement

It may seem odd, because agreeing with others is generally seen as a positive behavior that helps to build rapport.

However, when someone is always agreeing, it can become a subtle and unlikable trait.

People who constantly agree with everything you say, no matter how controversial or debatable the topic, can come across as insincere or lacking in individual thought.

It’s as if they’re more interested in winning your favor than in having a genuine conversation.

This doesn’t mean that disagreements are necessarily desirable.

However, a healthy balance of agreement and respectful disagreement indicates authenticity and shows that the person values their own opinions while also considering the perspectives of others.

4) The subtle put-down artist

Some people have mastered the art of the subtle put-down. They disguise their insults as jokes, compliments or innocent observations. But these veiled criticisms hurt and degrade just as much, if not more.

You might hear them say something like “You’re so brave for wearing that!” or “It’s impressive how you don’t let your job stress you out.”

On the surface, these seem like compliments, but they carry an undercurrent of criticism.

What’s worse is that they often do this under the guise of being helpful or concerned. But don’t be fooled. This is a manipulative behavior designed to make them feel superior at your expense.

5) The inability to apologize

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s a part of being human.

What sets likable people apart is the ability to acknowledge their mistakes and apologize sincerely.

However, there are those who struggle with this. They might:

• Deflect blame
• Make excuses
• Ignore the issue

It’s as if admitting they were wrong would shatter their self-image.

This behavior can be subtle, but it can also be deeply hurtful.

It can lead to unresolved conflicts and feelings of resentment. It’s hard to like someone who cannot own up to their mistakes and make amends.

Empathy and humility make a person more relatable and likable, and an apology is not a sign of weakness but rather a demonstration of strength and maturity.

6) The chronic interrupter

We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of sharing an important story or expressing your feelings, and someone interrupts you. It’s frustrating, to say the least.

Chronic interrupters often don’t realize they’re doing it.

They might be excited, eager to share their thoughts, or just plain impatient. But regardless of the reason, it sends a message that what they have to say is more important than what you’re saying.

This behavior can make others feel unimportant and unheard. It’s a surefire way to come off as unlikable.

7) The chronic latecomer

Let’s face it, we’ve all been late at some point.

Traffic jams, alarm malfunctions, last-minute emergencies – life happens. But then there are those who seem to operate on their own time zone.

The chronic latecomer is the person who consistently arrives late, regardless of the situation. Coffee dates, meetings, parties – you name it, they’re probably going to be late.

While it may seem like a minor annoyance, this behavior can subtly communicate a lack of respect for other people’s time.

It’s as if their time is more valuable than yours.

Of course, nobody’s perfect and punctuality can sometimes slip through the cracks. But if it becomes a habit, it may lead to others viewing them as unlikable.

8) The victim player

Life is filled with ups and downs. We all face challenges and setbacks.

However, there’s a difference between enduring tough times and constantly playing the victim.

The victim player is the person who always seems to be at the mercy of their circumstances.

They believe the world is against them, and they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they blame others or external factors for their misfortunes.

This behavior can be draining for those around them.

It’s hard to be sympathetic when someone refuses to take control of their life and make positive changes.

9) The empathy-lacking individual

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a fundamental aspect of human interaction.

It’s what connects us, allows us to support each other, and makes us likable.

However, some people seem to lack this crucial trait. They struggle to understand or acknowledge the feelings and experiences of others.

This can make them seem cold, detached, or self-centered.

Without empathy, it’s difficult to form deep, meaningful relationships. Others may find it hard to connect with them on an emotional level, which can make them highly unlikable.

Wrapping up