There’s a subtle difference between being humble and having low self-worth.
As a genuinely likable man, people may see your humility and modesty as endearing. But behind that likeable exterior, you could be wrestling with feelings of low self-worth, even without realizing it.
Psychology reveals some signs that suggest this hidden struggle. And sometimes, even the most charming guys can have shaky self-esteem.
Here, I’ll share with you 8 signs that a genuinely likable man might have low self-worth, according to psychology. Recognizing these signs could be the first step towards understanding and boosting your self-esteem.
1) Understated achievements
One of the most telling signs of low self-worth, even in the most likable men, is their tendency to downplay their achievements.
It’s not uncommon for these men to accomplish great feats yet dismiss their efforts as “nothing special” or “just doing my job”. This isn’t about being modest; it goes beyond that.
Psychologists suggest that this behavior could indicate a deeper issue. It could be a sign that they don’t value their own hard work and success as much as they should.
This is why you’ll find them attributing their achievements to external factors like luck or timing, rather than their own skills or hard work.
The key to understanding this sign is to observe how they react when complimented or praised. If they frequently deflect or seem uncomfortable, it might be a sign of low self-worth.
2) Constant need for reassurance
I remember my friend, Jake. A likable man, charming and always the life of the party. But there was something that stood out about him.
Jake would often ask for our opinions on almost everything he did. From his choice of clothes to his work decisions, he seemed to constantly need approval or confirmation from us.
On the surface, it seemed like he was just being considerate and valued our thoughts. But over time, it became clear that this was more than just seeking advice. Jake was looking for reassurance.
Psychologists suggest that this constant need for confirmation can be a sign of low self-worth. Instead of trusting his own judgment, Jake was relying on others to validate his choices. He doubted his own abilities and needed others to reassure him that he was doing the right thing.
This constant need for reassurance could be a sign that a genuinely likable man might be struggling with self-worth issues. And as a friend, understanding this can help you provide the support they need in navigating their self-esteem journey.
3) Overly apologetic behavior
When someone constantly says “sorry” for things they don’t need to apologize for, it can indicate a struggle with self-worth. This is known as hyper-apologizing, and it’s more common than you might think.
Hyper-apologizing can be seen as a way of seeking forgiveness for merely existing, which is a classic sign of low self-esteem. A genuinely likable man might often find himself doing this to avoid conflict or to make others feel comfortable at his own expense.
It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean they’re insincere. It’s just that their sense of self-worth is so tied up in others’ perceptions that they feel the need to apologize for anything that could potentially disrupt those positive views.
So next time you notice a charming individual saying “sorry” too often, remember it could be more than just politeness. It might be a cry for help from someone dealing with low self-worth.
4) Difficulty accepting compliments
Another sign that a genuinely likable man may be dealing with low self-worth is his struggle to accept compliments. Instead of graciously accepting them, he might downplay, deflect, or outright reject the praise he receives.
This behavior might seem modest at first glance, but it can actually reflect a deep-seated belief that they’re not worthy of the compliment. They might be thinking, “If they really knew me, they wouldn’t say that.”
It’s not just about being humble. It’s about a fundamental disconnect between how others see them and how they see themselves.
So, if you notice someone struggling to accept compliments, keep in mind that it could be a sign of low self-worth. And a little extra kindness and understanding can go a long way.
5) Neglecting their own needs
One of the most heartrending signs of low self-worth is when a genuinely likable man neglects his own needs, often placing others before himself to an extreme degree.
Such men are often seen as ‘givers’, always there for everyone else, and rarely asking for anything in return. They go above and beyond to make others happy, even if it means compromising their own well-being or happiness.
While being selfless is admirable, this extreme level of giving can suggest that they don’t value themselves enough to prioritize their own needs. They believe that their worth is tied to what they can do for others.
If you notice a dear friend or loved one constantly putting others first and neglecting their own needs, remember, it could be a sign of low self-worth. And sometimes, the best thing you can do for them is to gently remind them that they matter too, that they’re deserving of the same kindness they so freely give to others.
6) Overcompensating with perfectionism
In my early twenties, I found myself striving for perfection in every aspect of my life. From my academics to my social interactions, I felt an intense pressure to be flawless.
This push for perfection wasn’t about wanting to be the best. It was about proving to myself and others that I was worth something. It was about hiding the fear that I wasn’t good enough.
Perfectionism can often be a mask for low self-worth. Men who are incredibly likeable might push themselves to achieve unrealistic standards as a way to compensate for the belief that they’re not enough as they are.
If you notice someone constantly striving for perfection, it might not be ambition driving them, but a deeper struggle with self-worth. Understanding this can help you offer support and reassurance that they are enough, just as they are.
7) Difficulty expressing personal feelings
A genuinely likable man struggling with low self-worth might find it hard to express his personal feelings. He may fear that showing his true emotions might make him appear weak or vulnerable.
This fear can often stem from a belief that their worth is tied to how others perceive them. So, they hide their true feelings and put on a brave face to maintain their likability.
But it’s important to remember that expressing emotions doesn’t diminish worth or likability. In fact, it’s a sign of strength and authenticity.
So, if you notice someone who finds it hard to open up about their feelings, it might be a sign of low self-worth. And encouraging them to express themselves could be a step towards boosting their self-esteem.
8) They shy away from the spotlight
A man with low self-worth, despite being genuinely likable, will often shy away from the spotlight. Even when they deserve recognition, they may prefer to stay in the shadows, feeling more comfortable when they’re not the center of attention.
This behavior is more than just modesty. It could be a sign that they don’t believe they deserve recognition or fear that being in the spotlight will expose their perceived inadequacies.
Remember, everyone deserves to be celebrated for their achievements and contributions. If someone consistently avoids attention or recognition, it could be a sign of low self-worth. Recognizing this is crucial to helping them realize their worth and encouraging them to accept the recognition they rightfully deserve.
