The older I get, the more I realize that life really is short. I mean, I’ve always known that, of course, but getting older does make it more and more of a closer reality as the years pass by.
That’s why I’ve become way more selective about the company I keep. Gone are the days when I’d tolerate people who drain me, just because I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers.
It’s actually a lesson I should’ve learned earlier in life. But never mind that – the important thing is that I’ve now got good people around me who’ll keep me going, growing, and glowing!
So today, that’s what I’d love to share with you. If you want your days to be lighter and brighter, here are 8 types of people you should start surrounding yourself with
1) The supportive friend
This probably comes as a no-brainer, but really, you’d be surprised how many people out there have friends who get threatened by their success or who are quick to cut them down subtly with backhanded compliments.
As you get older, your time and your energy become more precious. Do you really want to waste them on this kind of friend?
I’m sure you don’t, so it’s time to get picky. Keep the ones who’ve proven time and again that they are, and will always be, in your corner.
Why is this so important? Well, consider all the benefits of having close friends that research has proven:
- A supportive friend protects us by changing the way we respond to stress.
- They lower blood pressure and heart rate reactivity.
- They can protect us against mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
Who knew supportive friendships can have an actual impact on our health, right?
2) The honest advisor
In the same breath, it’s also important to have someone who’s going to be real with you and tell you the things you don’t really want – but need – to hear.
Not in a judgmental or cutting way, but in a way that comes from a place of care and concern. They won’t sugarcoat the truth or tell you what you want to hear just to keep the peace.
I’m fortunate enough to have a best friend who does this for me. I love that I can count on her for genuine, constructive feedback because I know that I’m not always objective or honest with myself.
Sometimes it does sting, but hey, it’s a necessary sting. I think of it as growing pains.
We all need someone who can help us be the best version of ourselves – hopefully, you have an honest advisor who can do that for you.
3) The wise mentor
All my life, I’ve tried to follow this helpful bit of advice – if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
And even now that I’m older, this still holds true for me. That’s why having a wise mentor is so important.
I’m not just talking about professional mentors here; you could also have a mentor for personal matters, like relationships and spirituality.
The great thing about a wise mentor is that they’re not just a rich source of answers. More than that, they help you ask the right questions!
Which means, they’ll push you to think deeper about your values and your life choices. And more than just telling you what to think; a good mentor will show you how to think.
Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you have to stop growing. In fact, research shows that lifelong learning is a crucial part of positive aging.
4) The younger ones
Forget for a minute the never-ending generation wars (I’m looking at you, Boomers and Gen Zs!).
I, for one, have never bought into the whole “us vs. them” mentality when it comes to age. In fact, I think there’s so much we can learn from younger people if we’re open to it.
I’m not that old yet, but I definitely have a large age gap with some of my younger coworkers. But that has never been an issue for us.
I love hanging out with them and picking up new things. (It’s also how I stay up to date with all the latest slang!)
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not delulu that I’m still young; it’s just that because we’ve all found ways to connect despite our ages, these young friends of mine have passed the vibe check.
All right, I was just showing off there…but I hope you see what I mean. Surrounding yourself with younger people can keep your mind fresh, adaptable and brimming with life.
Plus, it doesn’t hurt to keep up with what’s cool, right?
5) The passionate and ambitious
One of my favorite artists in the world is Yayoi Kusama. I first encountered her work at the Seattle Art Museum back in 2017, and the funny thing is, I didn’t really know anything about her then. I simply fell in love with her whimsical style.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that she was 88 years old at the time! That made me admire her even more.
My point is, passion doesn’t have to fade just because we’re older now. The human spirit will always crave something to be excited about, something to pour ourselves into.
Being with passionate and ambitious people, no matter their age, can reignite that spark in you and keep you excited about life.
As author and professor Gregg Levoy wisely points out, “An affirmative approach to aging takes into account that new parts of us are always clamoring for airtime, and the soul and spirit don’t ‘retire’ even if our careers do.”
6) The adventurous spirit
Similarly, you need someone who can remind you that life is meant to be enjoyed, wrinkles and white hair be damned.
To quote Levoy again:
“How you feel about growing older, of course, depends on whether you belong to the ‘lifelong learner’ school of thought on aging, or the ‘can’t teach old dogs new tricks’ school of thought on aging. And how far along the life-span you believe you can push the notion of being ‘fully alive’.”
Read that again – “fully alive”. You gotta admit, sometimes those pesky back and knee pains can make us feel like we’re anything but fully alive.
But that’s where an adventurous spirit comes in – someone who believes that no matter your age, you can still feel vibrant and curious.
They’ll drag you out of the house for new experiences and remind you that, well, you’re not dead yet, so why aren’t you out there exploring? That’s the kind of energy we all need to have in our lives, even if only in small doses!
7) The philosopher
So, you’re older and wiser now, right? Do you think you know everything then?
Well, no, you don’t. None of us do. That’s why it’s always nice to have a deep thinker in your circle – a philosopher type who loves pondering the big questions.
Here’s one thing you should know about getting older – eventually, all the small stuff fades away.
At a certain point, all the things that used to motivate you – the big paycheck, the cars, the status symbols…they will no longer hold the same weight.
You start to realize that there’s more to life than that, and you’ll want someone you can turn to for more substance. Someone who will understand if you want to talk more about heavy matters like existence, purpose, morality, and the like.
The older I get, the more I appreciate the philosopher-friends I have and the profound conversations we hold. They certainly make my heart full and my brain bright and sparkly!
8) The funny one
Lastly, let’s not forget the funny one. By that, I mean someone who makes you crack up and look at life in a brighter, more lighthearted – and I want to emphasize this, wholesome – way.
Laughter and silliness are just as important as deep conversations. Humor is a powerful thing, especially as we get older.
Aside from the obvious benefit of making life feel less stressful, it also brings with it a lot of physical benefits, such as:
- It boosts the immune system
- It improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow
- It may even help us live longer!
So, don’t dismiss that funny friend of yours as a lightweight presence. They’re a key part of keeping your life balanced and full of joy.
Final thoughts
There are other types of good influences out there that I don’t have the space to lay out here, but the point is, if you’re going to choose your circle, consider how they make you feel.
If they make you feel good about yourself and about life in general, if they make you feel inspired and uplifted…they definitely deserve a spot in your life.
Like I said, life is too short to be careless with the company you keep. Choose wisely, because the right people in your circle can make growing older a whole lot more fun and meaningful.
