There’s a stark difference between being independent and simply being hard to handle.
This distinction often boils down to self-awareness. Being difficult can mean unknowingly pushing people away with your habits or behavior.
According to psychology, there are clear signs that reveal if you’re not the easiest person to get along with. Recognizing these signs can be your first step towards self-improvement.
Let’s get started.
1) You’re frequently the center of conflict
It’s often said that where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
And in interpersonal relationships, if you frequently find yourself in the eye of the storm, it might be time to question why.
Psychology suggests that repeated patterns of conflict often point towards one common denominator – you.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but if disagreements and disputes seem to follow you around, it might be a reflection of your behavior.
Is it because you’re stubborn? Or perhaps you have a tendency to dominate conversations?
Understanding the root cause can be a crucial step towards becoming easier to get along with.
Self-improvement is a journey, not a destination. So, be patient with yourself as you work on these changes.
2) You struggle with compromise
Now, let me share a personal experience.
There was a time when I was planning a road trip with friends. We all had different ideas about the route to take and the places to visit. I was adamant about visiting a particular national park that was slightly off our planned path.
After a lengthy discussion, I realized I was the only one pushing for this detour. My friends were willing to compromise on some places, but I wasn’t.
In that moment, it became clear to me – my unwillingness to budge was causing friction.
Psychology suggests that a lack of flexibility or the inability to compromise can make you difficult to get along with. It’s about finding a balance between standing your ground and understanding when it’s beneficial to meet in the middle.
Relationships thrive on give-and-take. If you’re always taking and never giving, you could be the hard one to deal with.
3) You often interrupt others
Did you know that the average person speaks at about 125 to 150 words per minute, but the human brain can process words at a speed of up to 800 words per minute? This difference often leads us to fill in the gaps by thinking about our own response while others are still speaking.
Interrupting someone mid-sentence has become so common that we often don’t even realize we’re doing it. But it’s more than just a bad habit – psychology suggests it can signal a lack of respect or empathy for the person you’re speaking with.
Interrupting sends a message that what you have to say is more important than what the other person is sharing. And if you’re doing this regularly, it might be one of the reasons you’re not an easy person to get along with.
The key is to practice active listening – not just waiting for your turn to speak, but truly understanding and responding to what the other person is saying.
4) You’re always right, even when you’re wrong
Being right feels great, doesn’t it? But can you handle being wrong?
If you find it challenging to accept your mistakes or if you often catch yourself defending your viewpoint, even in the face of contradictory evidence, it might be a sign that you’re not easy to get along with.
Psychology suggests that this behavior stems from a concept called cognitive dissonance, which is the mental discomfort experienced by a person who holds two or more contradictory beliefs or values.
It’s natural to want to stick to your guns, but being open to the possibility of being wrong is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships.
Admitting you’re wrong doesn’t make you weak – it shows that you’re smart enough to learn and grow.
5) You are dismissive of others’ feelings
How often do you find yourself brushing off someone else’s emotions or concerns?
If your usual response to someone’s feelings is to tell them they’re overreacting or being too sensitive, it might be an indication that you’re not the easiest person to get along with.
Psychology tells us that emotional invalidation can be deeply damaging to relationships. It creates a dynamic where the other person feels unheard and undervalued.
The key here is empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. By showing empathy, you validate the other person’s feelings, which can lead to stronger, more meaningful connections with those around you.
Everyone has a right to their feelings. Dismissing them doesn’t make them disappear; it just makes you harder to be around.
6) You seldom apologize
Imagine this scenario: you’ve had a disagreement with a loved one. Things got heated, harsh words were exchanged, and feelings were hurt. Now the dust has settled, and you realize you were in the wrong. What’s your next move?
If your answer is anything other than ‘apologize’, then we might have hit a rough spot.
Psychology tells us that the ability to apologize sincerely when we’re wrong is a strong indicator of emotional intelligence. It shows that you value your relationships more than your ego.
Apologies aren’t just about admitting mistakes. They’re about acknowledging the pain you’ve caused to others and showing them the respect they deserve.
Not apologizing when it’s due can be a clear sign that you’re not as easy to get along with as you think you are.
Remember, “I’m sorry” can be the most powerful sentence in your vocabulary if used genuinely and appropriately.
7) You struggle to express gratitude
I remember a time when a friend went out of her way to help me with an important project. She spent hours assisting me, even though she had her own work to deal with. When the project was done, I was so relieved and focused on my success that I forgot to thank her for her help.
It was only later, when I saw a hint of disappointment on her face, that I realized my mistake. That experience taught me an important lesson – the power of a simple ‘thank you’.
Psychology suggests that failing to express gratitude can make you seem unappreciative or entitled, which can be off-putting to those around you.
Expressing gratitude isn’t just about good manners. It’s about acknowledging the efforts and kindness of others. It makes people feel valued and appreciated.
If expressing gratitude doesn’t come naturally to you, it might be one of the signs that you’re not an easy person to get along with.
8) You’re always the peacemaker
On the surface, being a peacemaker might seem like a positive trait. After all, who doesn’t want to keep the peace and avoid conflict?
But here’s the rub: Always playing the peacemaker can sometimes make you difficult to get along with.
Psychology suggests that constantly avoiding conflict and suppressing your feelings for the sake of harmony can lead to resentment and passive-aggressive behavior.
Moreover, it can also prevent important issues from being addressed, leading to bigger problems down the line.
Balancing peace with assertiveness is essential. It’s important to express your feelings and stand up for what you believe in, even if it might lead to a disagreement.
9) You find it hard to let go of grudges
We’ve all been wronged at some point in our lives. But how long do you hold on to that resentment?
Psychology tells us that holding onto grudges can be a major roadblock in our relationships. It can lead to bitterness, anger, and hostility that can sour even the strongest of bonds.
If you find yourself ruminating on past slights and unable to let go of old hurts, it might be a sign that you’re not an easy person to get along with.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrong done to you. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and making space for peace, growth, and healthier relationships.
10) You lack self-awareness
Here’s the thing: nobody is perfect. We all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies. But the key to being easy to get along with lies in self-awareness.
Psychology suggests that being unaware of how your actions and behaviors affect others is a significant sign of being difficult to get along with. Without self-awareness, it’s hard to recognize the impact of your actions, let alone change them.
Developing self-awareness can be challenging. It requires introspection, feedback, and a willingness to change. But it’s worth it.
Because once you understand yourself better, you can start to make positive changes that can significantly improve your relationships and make you an easier person to get along with.
The final takeaway: Self-awareness is key
Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” This statement holds particularly true when it comes to understanding our own behaviors and how they impact our relationships with others.
Whether you identify with one, some, or all of the signs mentioned in this article, remember that recognition is the first step toward improvement.
Self-awareness is not a one-off realization but a journey of continuous introspection and growth. It’s about acknowledging your weaknesses, capitalizing on your strengths, and understanding how your actions affect those around you.
So take this knowledge, reflect on it, and use it as a starting point for positive change. After all, taking steps towards becoming easier to get along with not only improves our relationships with others but also leads to personal growth and self-improvement.
