There’s a fine line between someone being busy and them distancing themselves from you.
This distinction often comes down to subtle signs. If a person is pulling away, they might not say it outright; instead, they show it in their behavior.
According to psychology, there are certain telltale signs that suggest a person is slowly distancing themselves from you. And the sooner you can recognize these signs, the better you can address the situation.
Here are nine subtle signs to look for to see if someone is trying to put some space between you and them.
1) Their responses are growing shorter
We’ve all been there.
You send a long text, pouring your thoughts and feelings into the message, expecting a similar response. But all you get back is a bland “ok” or “cool.”
This is one of the subtle signs that someone might be distancing themselves from you. When someone is engaged and interested in maintaining a relationship, they usually match your level of communication.
If their messages are getting shorter and less frequent, it could be a sign that they’re pulling away. This isn’t to say that everyone who sends short messages is distancing themselves – some people are just naturally succinct communicators.
But when this change in communication style comes out of nowhere, it’s worth noting. It’s an indication that something might be off and that the person might be trying to create some distance.
2) They’re cancelling plans more often
It happened to me once.
I had a friend who I used to see at least once a week. We’d catch up, grab some food, and just generally enjoy each other’s company. But then, the cancellations started.
At first, it was understandable. Life gets busy, right? But when the excuses started piling up, I knew something was amiss.
People who genuinely want to spend time with you will make the effort. Of course, everyone has valid reasons for cancelling plans now and then. But when it becomes a pattern, it could be a sign that they’re distancing themselves.
When my friend kept cancelling on me, it hurt. But recognizing this sign early helped me address the issue and understand what was really going on. It’s a subtle sign, but one that speaks volumes about where you stand with someone.
3) They’re less expressive with their body language
Body language can say a lot about a person’s feelings. In fact, studies show that it accounts for more than half of our overall communication.
When someone is distancing themselves from you, they might subconsciously start to close themselves off physically. This could mean less eye contact, crossing their arms more often, or even turning their body away from you during conversations.
While it’s important not to read too much into every single gesture, a noticeable change in someone’s body language towards you could be a subtle sign of them pulling away.
4) They’re becoming less interested in your life
When someone is genuinely invested in you, they show an interest in your life. They remember little details you’ve shared, ask about your day, and want to know more about your experiences.
But when a person starts distancing themselves, that interest often starts to wane. They might stop asking about your day, or seem disinterested when you share news or updates about your life.
This shift can be subtle, and it’s easy to dismiss it as them just having an off day. But if it becomes a pattern, it could be a sign that they’re pulling away. Genuine interest is a sign of connection. If that’s missing, it’s worth addressing the issue.
5) They’re spending less time with you
Time is one of the most valuable commodities we have. When someone chooses to spend their time with you, it’s a clear indication that they value your company.
But when someone is distancing themselves, they might start to spend less and less time with you. It could be that they’re suddenly too busy, or they might start making plans that don’t include you.
This switch can be tough to spot, especially if it happens gradually. But it’s an important one to pay attention to. Less time spent together often means less emotional connection, signaling that the person might be pulling away.
6) They’re being less open with you
Opening up to someone is a sign of trust and closeness. We share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with those we feel connected to.
Remember the times when you’d share your deepest fears and biggest dreams with someone? Those moments of vulnerability are a testament to the bond you share.
But when someone starts distancing themselves, they might stop being as open with you. They become more guarded, less willing to share their thoughts and feelings. It’s as if a wall is slowly being built between you.
This change can feel like a loss. You miss the closeness, the shared confidences.
7) They’re not as affectionate as they used to be
I remember when a hug from a friend used to be a regular thing. It was a simple, warm gesture that made me feel loved and supported.
But over time, the hugs started to become less frequent. The warm pats on the back turned into brief, cold handshakes. This change in affection was subtle, but it was there.
A decrease in physical affection can be a sign of someone distancing themselves. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t care about you anymore, but it could indicate that they’re pulling away emotionally.
If you notice this shift in affection, it might be a sign that something’s up. It’s a subtle sign, but one that shouldn’t be overlooked.
8) They’re not as responsive as they used to be
Think about the times when you’d send a message and get a response almost immediately. That kind of responsiveness shows interest and engagement.
But when that starts to change, and their responses become less timely or even nonexistent, it could be a sign that they’re distancing themselves.
Maybe they take longer to reply to your texts, or they don’t return your calls as quickly as they used to. While everyone gets busy from time to time, a consistent delay in response can be a subtle sign of someone pulling away.
Communication is key in any relationship. If that starts to wane, it might be time to address the issue.
9) They’re avoiding deep conversations
Deep conversations are the lifeblood of any meaningful relationship. They allow us to connect on a profound level, to truly understand each other.
When someone starts avoiding these meaningful talks, it can be a sign that they’re distancing themselves. They might steer the conversation towards lighter topics or even seem uncomfortable when things get serious.
This avoidance of depth might be their way of creating emotional distance. It’s a subtle sign, but one that speaks volumes about the state of your relationship.
Pay attention to the depth of your conversations. It could be a crucial indicator of where you stand with someone.
Final thoughts: It’s about understanding
The signs of someone distancing themselves from you can be subtle, often cloaked behind everyday habits and interactions. But understanding these signs is a stepping stone towards better relationships.
Psychologist John Gottman once said, “Understanding must precede advice.” It’s about recognizing the changes, understanding their implications, and then deciding the best way forward.
Whether it’s a friend growing distant, a loved one pulling away, or a colleague becoming aloof, understanding these signs can pave the way for open conversations and potential resolutions.
So as you navigate the labyrinth of human interactions, remember to pay attention to these subtle signs. They might just help you understand the people around you a little better.
