There’s a fine line between someone being genuinely nice and a “nice” narcissist. The difference? The hidden intentions.
A “nice” narcissist is someone who appears kind and considerate, but only to serve their own needs.
When they realize they can’t manipulate you anymore, their behavior begins to shift. It’s like a game of chess, and they’re scrambling to make their next move.
In this article, we’ll delve into the 7 things a “nice” narcissist will do when they see their usual tricks aren’t working on you.
Let’s get started.
1) They’ll switch tactics
A “nice” narcissist is akin to a chameleon, ever ready to change colors to blend in.
When traditional manipulation doesn’t work, they won’t back down – they’ll just change their approach. It’s all part of their game to maintain control and feed their ego.
This could mean switching from covert manipulation to more overt methods, or vice versa. They might also try guilt-tripping or playing the victim card – anything to regain the upper hand.
It’s crucial that you stay vigilant and not fall for these new strategies.
Aleopard doesn’t change its spots, and neither does a narcissist. Their goal remains the same: manipulation for their own gain.
2) They’ll play the victim
In my own experience, I’ve seen how adept a “nice” narcissist can be at playing the victim card.
When they realized I’d caught on to their manipulation, they didn’t miss a beat. Instead, they started weaving tales of their own hardships and difficulties.
I remember one particular instance when the narcissist in my life had blatantly lied about something. When confronted, instead of owning up to the lie, they broke down and started sharing stories about their difficult childhood.
It was an obvious attempt to shift the focus. They wanted to evoke empathy and sympathy, to make me feel guilty for even questioning them in the first place.
It’s a common tactic employed by “nice” narcissists – using their own perceived victimhood as a smokescreen to distract you from their manipulative behavior. Be aware of this and stick to your guns.
3) They’ll resort to gaslighting
Gaslighting is a classic tactic utilized by narcissists. It’s a psychological manipulation technique where they make you question your own reality or sanity.
The term “gaslighting” actually originates from a 1938 play (and later a movie) called ‘Gas Light’, where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s losing her mind.
In the real world, a “nice” narcissist might use gaslighting to make you doubt your own memories or perceptions. They may insist something didn’t happen when it did, or vice versa, to the point where you start questioning your own sanity.
It’s a sinister tactic, but it’s used frequently by narcissists when they feel their control slipping away.
4) They’ll intensify their charm offensive
When a “nice” narcissist realizes they’re losing their grip on you, they might try to win you back with an intensified charm offensive.
Suddenly, they’re more attentive, more affectionate, more everything. They’re pulling out all the stops to make you feel special and valued. But remember, this isn’t genuine. It’s a calculated move to reel you back in.
They’ll shower you with compliments and affection, make grand gestures, and go above and beyond to show you how “kind” and “loving” they can be.
But don’t be fooled – it’s just another form of manipulation. Their ultimate goal isn’t your happiness, but their own control over you. Stay strong and don’t let this sudden charm offensive sway you.
5) They’ll start giving unsolicited advice
I’ve noticed that “nice” narcissists have a peculiar way of asserting their control – through unsolicited advice.
When they sensed that their usual tricks weren’t working on me, they shifted to giving me constant advice on everything from my career choices to my personal life. They made it seem like they were just looking out for my best interests.
But each piece of advice was actually a subtle attempt to control my decisions and actions, to maintain their influence over me. It felt like they were trying to mold me into a version of myself that suited their needs and wants.
It’s important to remember that you’re the one in control of your life, not them. Don’t let their unsolicited advice sway your decisions or make you question your choices.
6) They’ll become overly generous
When a “nice” narcissist realizes that they can’t manipulate you in the usual ways, they might resort to excessive generosity.
This isn’t quite the same as the charm offensive. Instead of sweet words and grand gestures, they’ll start showering you with gifts or favors, often going out of their way to do so.
But there’s always a catch. Each act of generosity comes with strings attached. The gifts and favors are just another way for them to regain control, hoping that you’ll feel obligated to reciprocate in some way.
Be mindful of this tactic. Generosity isn’t necessarily a sign of kindness, especially when it comes from a “nice” narcissist. It’s just another tool in their manipulation toolbox.
7) They’ll try to isolate you
The most dangerous move a “nice” narcissist can make is attempting to isolate you.
They might subtly start driving a wedge between you and your loved ones, painting themselves as the only person who truly understands or cares for you. They aim to make you dependent on them, which gives them greater control over you.
Always remember, isolation is a form of control, not love. Keep your connections strong and don’t let the narcissist sever your ties with your loved ones. This could be your lifeline, your source of strength and support when dealing with a “nice” narcissist.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-protection
Dealing with a “nice” narcissist can be an exhausting and challenging experience. The manipulation, the gaslighting, the charm offensives – they’re all designed to wear you down and make you question your own reality.
The truth is, when a “nice” narcissist realizes they can’t manipulate you anymore, they’ll resort to a variety of tactics to regain control. But it’s essential to remember that these actions are not about you – they’re about the narcissist’s need for dominance and validation.
In the words of American Psychologist, Rollo May, “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it’s conformity.” Standing up to a “nice” narcissist requires courage – the courage to confront manipulation, the courage to maintain your boundaries, and the courage to protect your mental health.
So stay strong. Stay steadfast. And remember: You have the right to live free from manipulation and control.
