If you’ve ever been in a conversation and felt like you were not being taken seriously, you’re not alone.
It can be frustrating when you’re trying to communicate your thoughts and ideas, and people just don’t seem to be getting it.
We all want to come across as confident and knowledgeable in conversations.
However, certain phrases can unintentionally undermine how others perceive our intelligence, even if we’re much smarter than they realize.
According to psychology, the way we express ourselves can impact how we’re seen.
Here are 8 phrases that might make you sound less intelligent than you actually are—and what to say instead to convey your true insight and capability.
1) “Like, um, you know…”
We all do it—fill in gaps in our communication with filler words like “like”, “um”, and “you know”.
These phrases slip out without us even realizing it, especially when we’re nervous or trying to gather our thoughts.
However, an article from the Consumer News and Business Channel explains how the overuse of these filler words can make you appear as less confident and less intelligent than you are.
They can disrupt the flow of your conversation and distract your listener from your actual message.
This doesn’t mean you have to eliminate these words completely from your vocabulary.
After all, they’re a natural part of casual speech—but being mindful of how often you use them can help you appear more composed and thoughtful in your conversations, so it’s okay to pause and collect your thoughts before speaking.
2) “I’m no expert, but…”
This might seem like a humble approach to expressing your opinion or sharing your knowledge—you might think that by downplaying your expertise, you’re being modest and approachable.
Unfortunately, this just makes you sound less credible to the people you’re conversing with.
What’s more, it gives others the impression that they should take your words with a grain of salt—essentially, telling them not to fully trust what you’re about to say.
If you want to make an impact with your words, stand firm in your knowledge and share your thoughts confidently.
You don’t necessarily have to be an ‘expert’ to contribute valuable insights or ideas.
3) “To be honest…”
When you start a sentence with this phrase, it might seem like you’re emphasizing your sincerity or preparing to share a deep truth—but subconscious cues can sometimes send messages we don’t intend.
This suggests that there might be times when you’re not being honest.
People tend to trust others who they perceive as consistently truthful, so using this phrase can unintentionally plant seeds of doubt about your honesty in other interactions.
The best practice is to be straightforward in your communication.
Your honesty should come across in your consistent behavior and communication, not just when you specifically point it out.
4) “I always…” or “I never…”
We all have habits, tendencies, and patterns in our lives.
It’s natural to use phrases like these two to describe these patterns—but, sometimes, these absolute terms can paint us into a corner.
Using absolutes can come off as rigid and close-minded as they leave little room for growth, change, or understanding of different perspectives.
Life is fluid and so are we as individuals—embrace that.
Word of advice: try to use more flexible language.
It shows that you’re open to learning, growing, and adapting – qualities that make you appear intelligent and understanding.
5) “It’s complicated…”
Life is full of complexities, and we often use this as a “catch-all” to describe difficult or nuanced situations.
While it’s convenient, it can sometimes make us sound like we’re avoiding the issue or not willing to delve into the details.
In reality, saying this phrase can make you look as if you haven’t fully grasped the situation or you’re not willing to put in the effort to explain it; it might leave others feeling disconnected from what you’re trying to communicate.
Break down the complexities of your topic into more understandable parts.
You don’t have to oversimplify or dumb down things; just make an effort to explain in a way that others can understand.
6) “I guess…”
You might have found yourself saying “I guess…” when you’re not entirely sure about something or when you’re trying to seem nonchalant about an opinion or idea.
It seems harmless, right?
However, from a psychological standpoint, this phrase can give off the impression that you’re unsure of your own thoughts and ideas—it might seem like you lack confidence or conviction in your own words.
For instance, let’s say you’re discussing a new strategy at a team meeting: Saying “I guess we could try this new approach…” comes across as hesitant and uncertain, but stating “This new approach could benefit us by…” shows confidence and clarity in your suggestion.
The next time you find yourself about to say this phrase, pause for a moment and consider if there’s a more confident and assertive way to phrase your thoughts.
7) “Whatever…”
Often used to dismiss a conversation or show indifference, you might think it’s a good way to avoid conflict or show that you’re laid-back.
However, this phrase alone can make you seem disengaged or disrespectful.
It’s important to remember that effective communication is about understanding and being understood.
When you use dismissive language like “whatever,” it can make it seem as if you’re not interested in the conversation or the other person’s perspective.
Whether you agree, disagree, or simply need more time to think, learn to be more clear about it.
8) “I can’t…”
One of the phrases that can significantly impact how others perceive your intelligence is “I can’t”.
While it’s okay to acknowledge your limits, repeatedly saying this phrase can exude a lack of willingness to learn or try new things.
More importantly, this phrase can also limit your own belief in your abilities—believing in yourself is a key component of intelligence, as it fuels your curiosity, learning, and growth.
Make it a habit to adopt a more positive and open-minded phrase like “I’ll learn how to…” or “I’ll give it a try”.
This not only changes how others perceive you, but it also encourages a growth mindset within yourself.
Remember, language is powerful; the words and phrases you choose can greatly influence both how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself.
Conclusion
Intelligence is more than just the words we speak—it’s about how we choose to communicate our thoughts, ideas, and emotions.
Your language, just like your life, is a work in progress.
Intelligence is about continuous learning, growth, and adaptability; it involves recognizing that our communication shapes both how others see us and how we view ourselves.
Embrace communicating with confidence, clarity, and authenticity—celebrate showcasing your intelligence in all its unique forms.
