First impressions matter, and how you carry yourself can influence how others perceive you.
Sometimes, certain behaviors can unintentionally come across as smug or entitled, even if that’s far from your intention.
This isn’t about changing who you are, but rather about understanding how certain actions can be misconstrued by others.
Even if you’re the most humble person in the room, there are eight behaviors that might be giving off the wrong vibes to those around you.
And remember, it’s about ensuring your actions align with your intentions:
1) Overusing the word “I”
It’s a common trap many of us fall into without even realizing it.
Language is a powerful tool and how we use it can often shape the perception of others about us.
There’s a time and place to talk about ourselves, but doing so excessively can sometimes give off an unintended air of self-centeredness or entitlement.
Think about it: When you’re always leading with “I did this,” or “I think that,” it can subtly signal to others that your perspective is the only one that matters—it might even come off as though you’re not interested in what they have to say.
Communication, in its entirety, is a two-way street.
Try to balance out your “I” statements with questions or comments that involve the other person, or by simply showing genuine interest in their thoughts and ideas.
2) Not listening to others
This is something I’ve personally been guilty of in the past, and it took me a while to realize how it was impacting my relationships.
One day, a good friend of mine pulled me aside and gently pointed out this behavior, and it was a bit of a wake-up call.
Looking back, I can see how this might have come across as if I was disregarding their opinions or thoughts.
I realized that by not fully engaging in what others were saying, it could seem as though I felt my voice was more important.
Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to really listen when someone is speaking and not just wait for my turn to talk–it’s made a huge difference in the quality of my conversations and relationships.
Truly listening to someone is one of the greatest signs of respect; it shows that you value their thoughts and are willing to take the time to understand their perspective.
3) Dominating conversations
While it’s great to be passionate about certain topics, consistently dominating conversations can make you seem less approachable or even entitled.
According to research, a good conversation should have a speaking-listening ratio of 43-57. This balance ensures that both parties have the chance to express their thoughts and feel heard.
However, if you’re the one doing 80% or 90% of the talking, it might send the message that you believe your thoughts and ideas are more important than those of the person you’re speaking with.
Let this be a lesson to you: Encourage others to share their thoughts and show genuine interest in what they have to say.
4) Constantly one-upping
We all love to share our achievements and experiences but, when it becomes a habit to always have a bigger, better story or achievement to share every time someone else shares theirs, it can come off as smug or even arrogant.
Imagine you’re telling a friend about your recent vacation, only for them to interrupt and start talking about their own, more extravagant trip.
It can feel like they’re trying to belittle your experience, right?
Even if it’s not your intention, constantly one-upping can seem like you’re trying to overshadow others.
Show genuine interest in their stories and resist the urge to immediately jump in with your own—you can also try celebrating their achievements and experiences with them.
5) Ignoring non-verbal cues
It’s not about what we say, but how we say it—our body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can speak volumes about our attitude.
Ignoring non-verbal cues from others can unintentionally create an impression of arrogance or entitlement.
For example, continually checking your phone while someone is talking to you can give off the impression that you’re not interested in what they have to say.
It’s crucial to remember that communication is more than just words as it is a heartfelt exchange of thoughts and emotions.
Being receptive to others’ non-verbal signals and responding appropriately can significantly enhance your interactions.
By showing empathy and understanding through your own non-verbal communication, you ensure that those around you feel seen, heard, and valued.
6) Not acknowledging others’ contributions
When I started my first job, I was eager to impress my boss and colleagues; in my enthusiasm, I often found myself taking credit for team accomplishments without acknowledging the contributions of others.
Over time, I noticed a shift in the way my colleagues interacted with me—they seemed distant and slightly resentful.
It took a candid conversation with a mentor to realize that by not recognizing the efforts of my team, I was inadvertently coming across as self-serving and entitled.
Since then, I’ve made it a point to publicly appreciate and acknowledge the hard work and contributions of my colleagues.
Not only has this improved my relationships at work, but it’s also made me realize the importance of giving credit where it’s due.
We all want our efforts to be recognized—by making sure to acknowledge others’ contributions, you show that you value their input and hard work, which can go a long way in preventing any impression of smugness or entitlement.
7) Never admitting you’re wrong
As humans, we all make mistakes—however, refusing to admit when you’re wrong can give off an aura of arrogance and entitlement.
Feeling defensive when our actions or opinions are challenged is easy but, instead of doubling down on a mistake, try seeing it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Admitting you’re wrong shows humility and a willingness to learn from your mistakes—it not only helps to mend any potential damage done but also earns you the respect of others.
Everyone respects someone who can admit their mistakes and strive to do better next time.
8) Lack of gratitude
At the heart of it all, a lack of gratitude can often be the clearest sign of smugness or entitlement.
Gratitude is a powerful force that not only makes others feel appreciated, but it also keeps us grounded—it reminds us that we’re not alone, that we’ve had help along our journey.
Expressing gratitude, whether it’s for a small favor or a grand gesture, is not only polite but also shows that you value and appreciate those around you.
Make sure to say ‘thank you’ and show your appreciation—it’s the simplest, yet most powerful way to ensure you don’t come across as smug or entitled.
Final thoughts: It’s all about empathy
Empathy lies at the heart of our interactions, shaping how others perceive us.
This ability to understand and share feelings can transform relationships, reminding us to listen more, value others, and own our mistakes.
Being mindful of how our actions are perceived helps foster deeper connections; It’s about aligning your actions with your intentions.
Small gestures like acknowledging contributions, listening actively, or showing gratitude can profoundly impact how we relate to others.
As we navigate through our daily interactions, let’s strive for more empathy.
After all, in the words of Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
