When someone intentionally ignores you, you feel excluded; when someone consistently belittles your ideas, you feel left out.
Toxic people have a way of turning social situations into emotional minefields—one of their subtle yet effective tactics is making others feel excluded and left out.
But, it’s not always as black and white as it seems: In reality, the realm of human interaction is fraught with subtle nuances and complexities that can sometimes leave us feeling isolated and alienated.
From subtle body language to calculated omissions, here are eight things toxic people do to isolate you in social settings:
1) Ignoring your presence
The feeling of exclusion hits hardest when it feels like you’re invisible.
You know the scenario: You’re in a group setting and despite your attempts to join the conversation, you’re met with blank stares or outright ignored.
It’s as if you’ve suddenly become a ghost—present, but not acknowledged.
This is a common tactic used by toxic individuals as they deliberately ignore you in social situations to make you feel insignificant and unimportant, while also denying you the basic acknowledgement we all crave in social interactions.
It can be as simple as not making eye contact, or turning their body away from you when you’re speaking.
It’s a silent way of saying “you don’t matter”, and it’s a powerful tool in the hands of those who wish to make others feel small and unimportant.
2) Undermining your ideas
Ever had one of those moments where you’re excited to share an idea, only to have it shot down instantly?
I remember this one time, at a friendly gathering, I suggested a new place for us to try out for dinner: I had heard great reviews about it and was excited at the prospect of experiencing something new with my friends.
Before I could even finish explaining why we should go there, a particular person in the group immediately dismissed my idea—they made a sarcastic remark about how my taste in restaurants was “always off” and suggested another place instead.
Everyone else just followed suit and my idea was immediately forgotten.
That’s what toxic people do: They make it a point to belittle your suggestions or ideas publicly, discouraging you from participating in future conversations.
3) Spreading gossip
Toxic people thrive on drama—they often use gossip as a powerful tool to sow seeds of doubt and create divisions within a group.
And the worst part? You usually don’t even know it’s happening until the damage is done.
They might spread rumors about you or twist your words to paint you in a negative light; this can make you feel alienated and as if everyone is talking about you behind your back.
In fact, research shows that those who engage in gossip tend to have high levels of aggression and a strong desire for power within social groups.
It’s a manipulative tactic used to control the narrative and isolate those who they perceive as threats.
4) Excluding you from plans
Nothing screams exclusion louder than being the only one not invited to a social gathering.
These toxic people might plan events or outings and conveniently ‘forget’ to invite you.
You only find out about it later through pictures or casual mentions, and it leaves you wondering if it was an oversight or intentional.
Their goal here is to make you feel like you’re not part of the group, that you’re an outsider looking in.
5) Dominating conversations
I’ve noticed that toxic people tend to monopolize conversations by steering the discussion back to themselves, their experiences, and their opinions.
I remember once trying to share a story about my recent vacation, only to be cut off mid-sentence by someone who suddenly started talking about their own trip, completely disregarding what I was saying.
This deliberate act of stealing the spotlight leaves little room for anyone else to speak or share.
And when I do get a chance to say something, it’s often met with indifference or brushed off quickly.
6) Overly complimenting others
Compliments are usually a sign of appreciation or admiration.
However, when used strategically by toxic people, they can serve a different purpose.
Toxic individuals might excessively praise others in your presence, often overlooking or ignoring your own accomplishments—it’s like they’re creating a hierarchy where you’re always at the bottom.
However, don’t mistake this for them being overly generous with their admiration.
Over-complimenting is just a subtle way of making you feel less valued and excluded, without being outwardly hostile or rude.
7) Creating inside jokes
We all love a good inside joke, right?
It can strengthen bonds and create a sense of camaraderie but, in the hands of toxic people, inside jokes can turn into a tool of exclusion.
They might constantly refer to shared experiences or jokes that you weren’t part of, making you feel you’re not a member in their private club.
Repeated use of inside jokes, especially when they know you don’t understand them, is an underhanded way to remind you that you’re not part of their inner circle.
8) Using body language to isolate you
Body language speaks volumes, and toxic people are experts at using it to their advantage.
Toxic people might position themselves in a way of turning their backs towards you, making minimal eye contact, or engaging more enthusiastically with others around them.
Remember, these subtle signs are just as powerful as words, and often, they’re used to send a clear message: you’re not welcome here.
Reflecting on toxicity
As you navigate the complexities of social dynamics, it’s important to remember that the actions of others often reflect more about them than they do about you.
Toxic people who resort to tactics of exclusion and isolation are usually battling their own insecurities and fears.
Their need to make others feel small stems from a place of inadequacy within themselves.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
The next time you feel excluded, pause and reflect: Is it about you, or is it their toxic behavior?
Understanding this can help you cope and empower you to stand up for yourself because your worth isn’t defined by someone else’s inability to see it.
You belong—never let anyone make you feel otherwise.
