Being a “cool” parent isn’t about letting your kids do whatever they want. It’s not about being their best friend either.
It’s about striking that sweet balance between authority and approachability — the kind of parent your kids feel safe opening up to without fear of judgment.
Sounds ideal, right?
But here’s the catch: Sometimes, the very things we think are helping us be “good” parents are actually working against us.
Certain behaviors might feel necessary in the moment, but over time, they can create distance between you and your child.
The good news? It’s never too late to shift gears. By saying goodbye to a few of these sneaky habits, you can start building the kind of relationship where your kids actually want to talk to you.
Let’s look at 7 behaviors that might be standing in the way.
1) Losing your cool
Obviously, losing your cool won’t make you, well, cool.
But at the same time, being a “cool” parent doesn’t mean you never get upset. It simply means you handle your emotions in a mature, controlled manner.
Children look to their parents for guidance on how to react in different situations. If they see you losing your temper over small issues, they’ll likely mimic this behavior.
Instead, try to keep your composure and handle the situation calmly. It’s not about never getting angry – it’s about showing your child the correct way to express anger.
Remember, your actions speak louder than words. Maintaining a calm demeanor under stress will set an example for your children on how to manage their emotions.
And that makes you a “cool” parent in their eyes – someone they can learn from and look up to.
2) Being overly critical
I remember a time when my daughter was learning to tie her shoelaces. I watched her struggle, make mistakes, and get frustrated. My initial reaction was to step in, correct her mistakes and show her the ‘right’ way to do it.
But then, I realized that being overly critical wasn’t helping her. It was only making her more frustrated and less willing to try again.
So, I decided to take a step back. Instead of pointing out what she was doing wrong, I started acknowledging her effort and encouraging her.
“You’re getting better at this,” I would tell her, “Keep trying.”
Seeing her face light up with determination was a reminder that as a parent, my job isn’t to be a critic but a cheerleader. This small shift in my behavior made a big difference in our relationship.
Letting go of constant criticism and replacing it with encouragement and patience can make you the “cool” parent your child feels comfortable around and looks up to.
3) Dismissing their interests
Children’s interests can be fluid and wide-ranging, from dinosaurs to space, fairies to football. As parents, it might be tempting to dismiss these fleeting passions as unimportant.
But did you know that Albert Einstein attributed his success to his childhood fascination with a compass? This seemingly trivial interest sparked a curiosity that led him to some of the greatest scientific discoveries of our time.
While your child’s current obsession might not lead them to unravel the mysteries of the universe, it’s essential to nurture their curiosity. Engaging in their interests helps them feel valued and understood.
Being a “cool” parent is about embracing these interests, no matter how fleeting or obscure they might be.
4) Ignoring their opinions
Every person, no matter their age, wants their opinions to be heard and respected. This includes your children.
Ignoring your child’s opinions or brushing them off as “childish” or “naive” can be damaging. It sends a message that their thoughts don’t matter and can lead to them feeling undervalued.
On the other hand, listening to your child’s opinions, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them, shows that you respect them as individuals. It can also give you valuable insights into their thought processes and perspectives.
Being a “cool” parent means creating a safe space where your children feel comfortable expressing their opinions without fear of dismissal or ridicule.
This open communication builds trust and promotes a healthy parent-child relationship.
5) Failing to apologize
Do you apologize to your child when you mess up? Let’s be real — ‘sorry’ can be the hardest thing for us to say, isn’t it?
I remember when I promised my son that we’d go to the park after dinner, but I got caught up with work and we couldn’t go. He was upset, and I was feeling guilty.
Instead of making excuses, I sat him down and apologized. I explained that I had made a promise and failed to keep it, and for that, I was truly sorry.
It was a humbling experience. But it taught me an important lesson: parents make mistakes too. And when we do, it’s crucial to own up to them and apologize.
Apologizing shows your children that you respect them and their feelings. It also sets an example of how to take responsibility for one’s actions – a lesson they will carry into their own lives.
6) Neglecting ‘me time’
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to put yourself dead last on the priority list?
As parents, we’re practically programmed to focus on our kids’ needs before our own. While that’s part of the job, it’s also one of the quickest ways to burn yourself out.
And here’s the kicker — when you’re constantly stressed, drained, and running on empty, it’s nearly impossible to be the patient, fun, and present parent you want to be.
Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential. When you carve out moments for ‘me time,’ you show your kids that self-care matters.
Whether it’s going for a run, reading a book, or just sipping a cup of coffee without interruptions, these little moments give you the reset you need to show up as your best self.
And if you want your kids to see you as the “cool” parent, well, it starts with you feeling good about yourself.
After all, a calm, happy, and recharged parent is way more fun to be around than one who’s constantly on edge.
7) Forgetting to show love
At the end of the day, the most important thing your child needs from you is love.
Saying “I love you”, giving a hug, or simply spending quality time together can make a world of difference.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. Show your children you love them through your actions, not just your words.
Being a “cool” parent isn’t about trying to be their friend or getting them to like you. It’s about showing them unconditional love and support, and guiding them as they navigate through life.
