Manipulative individuals and genuine influencers share one thing in common – they both understand people. But, where they differ is in their intentions.
Manipulators, unlike influencers, don’t give you a choice. They prey on certain characteristics to control you, bending you to their will while keeping their motives hidden.
As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a seasoned relationship expert, I’ve witnessed this pattern repeatedly.
In this article, I’ll reveal the 8 traits that manipulative individuals are always on the lookout for in potential victims.
By understanding these traits, you can arm yourself against such emotional predators and take back control of your relationships.
1) Low self-esteem
Manipulators are like sharks, they can sense the slightest hint of self-doubt from a mile away.
Low self-esteem is one trait manipulative people often prey upon.
Why you ask?
It’s because individuals who struggle with self-worth are more likely to seek validation from others.
They may be more susceptible to the manipulator’s tactics, as they may interpret their attention and influence as a form of acceptance.
It’s a sad truth, but it’s something I’ve seen time and again in my career as a relationship expert. The manipulator swoops in, feeding off the individual’s need for approval, using it as a means to control them.
Understanding your worth and building your self-esteem is the first step towards safeguarding yourself against these emotional predators.
2) People-pleasers
As human beings, it’s natural to want to make others happy. But when the need to please becomes a driving force in your actions, it leaves you vulnerable.
Manipulators are quick to spot people-pleasers. They exploit this trait, leveraging the individual’s fear of disappointing others to their advantage.
I’ve encountered numerous clients who have fallen into this trap, and it’s always heartbreaking to see.
People-pleasers often find themselves tangled in a web of manipulation, feeling obligated to meet the manipulator’s demands, despite their own discomfort.
You can’t please everyone, and those who truly care about you won’t expect you to.
3) Codependency
Codependency is a relationship dynamic that manipulative individuals often exploit. In this unhealthy relationship pattern, one person’s needs are met at the expense of the other’s.
Having worked with countless individuals and couples, I’ve seen how codependency can pave the way for manipulation.
The codependent individual, driven by a need to be needed, often ends up catering to the whims and demands of the manipulator.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this topic. We explore how to identify codependent patterns and strategies to break free from them.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and equality. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
4) Independent thinkers
Now, this might come as a surprise. After all, it seems counterintuitive that manipulators would target individuals who think for themselves. But here’s the catch.
Manipulators are often attracted to independent thinkers not because they’re easy to control, but because they present a challenge.
For the manipulator, the idea of bending a strong-willed person to their will can be an enticing game.
In my experience as a relationship expert, I’ve seen this scenario play out quite often. The manipulator uses subtle tactics, slowly chipping away at the person’s independence and confidence until they yield control.
5) Empathy
Empathy is a beautiful trait. It allows us to connect with others on a deep, emotional level. But in the wrong hands, it can become a tool for manipulation.
Manipulators often target empathetic individuals, exploiting their kindness and understanding for personal gain.
They know that an empathetic person is more likely to overlook their transgressions, attributing them to hard times or personal struggles.
In my years of counseling, I’ve seen many empathetic souls caught in the manipulator’s snare. It’s always a painful thing to witness.
6) Past trauma
This one’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s the raw truth: manipulators often prey on individuals with a history of trauma.
These individuals might have unresolved issues, emotional scars, or trust issues stemming from their past. Manipulators exploit this vulnerability, often feigning empathy and understanding to gain their trust.
I’ve sat across from too many clients with tear-filled eyes, recounting their experiences of manipulation that dug deep into old wounds. It’s heartbreaking.
But listen to me when I say this – your past does not define you. You’re stronger than you realize. And you certainly deserve better than someone who uses your past against you.
7) Lack of support system
Manipulators often seek individuals who lack a strong support system. They know that isolation makes a person more susceptible to their control tactics.
It’s a cruel way to exert power over someone, exploiting their loneliness and need for companionship.
That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about your well-being.
As the legendary Audrey Hepburn once said, “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed.”
8) Fear of confrontation
This is another harsh reality. Individuals who fear confrontation are prime targets for manipulators.
Avoiding conflict at all costs often leads to suppressed feelings and unvoiced concerns. Manipulators take advantage of this, pushing boundaries knowing they won’t be challenged.
But let me tell you this – having a voice and using it is not a crime.
You have every right to stand up for yourself. Don’t let fear silence you.
Conclusion
Recognizing these traits isn’t about blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It’s about gaining awareness and empowering yourself to build healthier relationships.
Manipulation is never your fault. It’s the manipulator who chooses to exploit, not the individual who becomes their target.
If any of these traits resonated with you, don’t despair.
Change is always possible. In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, you’ll find practical tools and insights to help you navigate and heal from manipulative relationships.
Stay strong, remember your worth, and don’t let anyone manipulate your narrative.
