I still remember my mother’s stern face and my father’s indifferent silence. They say growing up is a journey, but sometimes, it’s a battle, especially when you don’t have the emotional support from your parents.
Here’s a truth bomb: growing up with emotionally unsupportive parents can shape who you are in adulthood. It’s not something we like to think about often, but it can’t be ignored.
If you’re sitting there asking yourself, “Why am I the way that I am?” or “Why do certain situations affect me more than others?” there might be a connection to your past.
We’re going to delve into some of the traits that individuals often develop later in life as a result of growing up with emotionally unsupportive parents. Buckle up, because this might be quite a revelation.
1) Difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships
Let’s start with relationships.
Ever wondered why you might find it hard to establish deep connections with people? Or why you have a knack for attracting partners who are emotionally unavailable?
Well, it’s not a coincidence.
Growing up with emotionally unsupportive parents can make it challenging to forge and sustain meaningful relationships in adulthood. Your early experiences have taught you to be self-reliant, to not rely on others for emotional support.
This can make you guarded, hesitant to open up and share your feelings.
But remember, it’s okay to let others in. It’s okay to be vulnerable. And it’s okay to lean on others for support. That’s what relationships are all about, after all.
2) Struggle with self-worth
This one hits close to home for me.
Self-worth, or rather, the lack thereof, was a big struggle in my life. I remember constantly feeling like I was never good enough, always comparing myself to others and falling short.
Ever felt that way too?
When you grow up with emotionally unsupportive parents, you may find it hard to believe in your own worth. You might question if you’re deserving of love, success, or happiness. This constant self-doubt can be a heavy weight to carry around.
But let me tell you something I’ve learned: Your worth is not determined by anyone else but you. You are enough just as you are. And you deserve every bit of happiness and success that comes your way.
3) A perfectionist streak
Ever found yourself obsessing over the tiniest details? Or maybe you’ve worked yourself to exhaustion, just to avoid the sting of criticism?
That’s the perfectionist in you talking.
Growing up with emotionally unsupportive parents, you might have tried to win their approval by being perfect. And now, you’ve carried that need for perfection into adulthood.
Here’s the thing though. Perfection is an illusion. It’s not attainable, and chasing it can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even depression.
So give yourself permission to make mistakes. Understand that it’s okay to be imperfect. After all, it’s our imperfections that make us human.
4) Fear of abandonment
Do you often find yourself worrying that people will leave you? Or maybe you cling onto relationships, even when they’re not good for you?
Fear of abandonment is a common trait among those who grew up with emotionally unsupportive parents. When the people who were supposed to be your primary caregivers didn’t provide the emotional support you needed, it can instill a deep-seated fear that others will also leave.
Not everyone will abandon you. There are trustworthy people out there who genuinely care about you and want to be a part of your life.
So take a deep breath, let go of that fear, and allow yourself to trust again.
5) Heightened sensitivity
Imagine this: You’re in a crowded room and you can’t help but pick up on every slight change in people’s expressions, tones, and body language. You’re like a human lie detector, always on high alert.
This heightened sensitivity is often developed as a survival mechanism. When growing up with emotionally unsupportive parents, you had to become attuned to their moods to protect yourself.
Now here’s something you might not know: This sensitivity can actually be a strength. It allows you to understand others on a deeper level and can make you an empathetic listener.
While it might have been born out of a need for self-preservation, it can serve as an asset in your relationships and interactions with others.
6) Overly independent
Go ahead, admit it. You’re the one who insists on doing everything yourself, right? Even if it means staying up all night to finish a project or carrying all the grocery bags in one trip.
Growing up with emotionally unsupportive parents, you learned early on to depend on yourself. This has made you fiercely independent and self-reliant.
Certainly, it’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak or less competent. In fact, reaching out to others can strengthen your relationships and lighten your load.
7) Resilience
Growing up with emotionally unsupportive parents, you’ve faced challenges that many can’t even imagine. But here’s the thing: you made it through.
You have a strength and resilience that’s been forged in the fires of adversity. You’ve learned to adapt, to overcome, and to keep going, even when things were tough.
And that, my friend, is something to be incredibly proud of.
Final thoughts
If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these traits, you might be realizing how much your childhood has shaped who you are today.
But here’s the silver lining – your past doesn’t have to define your future.
With self-awareness, you can start to understand and heal the wounds of your past. You can even turn these traits into strengths. They’ve made you resilient, empathetic, and independent.
Start by acknowledging your emotions, your struggles. Validate them. They’re a part of you, but they’re not all that you are.
Every day is an opportunity for growth. It’s a chance to break old patterns and create new ones that serve you better.
Take it one day at a time. Be patient with yourself. Each small step forward is a victory in itself.
In the end, what matters isn’t where we started, but how far we’ve come. And by being here, by seeking understanding and growth, you’re already on the path to becoming the best version of yourself.
Take a moment here – how have these traits shaped your life? And more importantly, how will you use this understanding to shape your future?
